Marriage problem and the 3rd person involved.

Do you have family living close enough that you could visit them on an afternoon (just you and your child) ?

No all babysitting is arranged through my wife.
I am not in US so its probably different in Europe.

Your advice is very much appreciated.

No thats a touchie subject as my wife doesnt want my family seeing the kid. Its not there bad people or anything, my father died when i was young my mother rared us on her own. She doesnt drink or smoke, neither here nor there but just to give you an idea. My wife would go balistic if she thought I brought kids to them as they have not come to see kids.
Its tough, as its all one sided. I know you may say that the family thing is different issue but for me its a lonely old world when we are arguing as she has me in a corner I cant turn to anyone, hence the new girl.. Possibly.. She has plenty of people to turn to for advice, so thats why im here.
Isuppose thats why I stay out too when i am out cause the thoughts of going home and in a way, alone, is horrible.
What would you do? Whats best?
Several times she has told me to leave but in truth, I actually have nowhere to go besides an appartment or hotel room (For the moment).
I have made a slight ammend with my mother since new year and I promised myself that I would call, I have told my wife this is what I want, she said ok.
But I know from previous occassions, when I come back it will be 20 questions, or cold treatment, so im a bit reluctant to go..

Do you ever spend time alone with your child - in the home, or outside of the home?

I think that's a step you need to take.

You also need to work on the relationship with your family - and make some of your own friends. Develop some hobbies, interests outside of the home. Take your child to library events, art gallery events, museums etc. Let your wife know she is welcome to join you on those trips but don't cancel them if she won't.

For some reason, your wife has assumed (or been given) far too much control over you/your relationship.

Fathers in Europe certainly can arrange for childcare. There is absolutely no reason for your wife to be the only one who can do that.

she's going to have to get over that.

That's plain wrong. If your mother is not a bad role model she shouldn't be kept from your child's life.....it's still not ok for you to stay out drinking or have an affair because you consider life at home "horrible"... Sorry that is plain wrong.....any wife would be angry at that sort of behavior or any husband for that matter.....would you be ok with her doing that?

Just plain wrong? who are you to say that? This man seems to be dealing with a kind of godzilla. I'll agree getting together in a big way with the new person could be very unwise and that John Hu needs to find his way out of this mess first. His finding her may have given him some hope that life can even be happy.

Alternately, our poster could be a bad guy, but I don't see that. Give a guy a break.

Ditto

I meant a grandmother can have an invaluable role in a child's life unless there's something detrimentally objectionable in her behavior. I have no idea what
you're saying about Godzilla.... All I'm saying is a grandma can have an invaluable role in a child's life.....no need to shut her out .....she could be an awesome asset .

You skipped half your own post - re his having a drink out or considering an affair as an imagined possibility.
I consider the wife as an extremely difficult person to be around - whatever he does to deal with it, thus, godzilla.

There is a myriad of possibilities as to the dynamics of the relationship, their individual perceptions, etc. I think there is definitively a communication breakdown....Also--no matter how thin the pancake, it always has two sides. My advice to the OP is to seek counseling , either together or alone....and to not engage a third person (anew lover) as that will only complicate matters.

You need to get out of your marriage pronto! Although I understand the reality of monetary issues.. Is it worth spending the rest of your life unhappy? And it doesn't sound like she's going thru a phase.

you know, you'd better try to fix it with your wife: girls are all funny and caring while dating and then switch the Gorgon mode on if there is a problem. have you told her you are married? if you want a change then be honest with your wife and talk to her, don't cheat behind her back, that's just jerkish