Want to be happy.. how?.. couldnot break friendship though

In other words, do not get caught up in what she does with her life. If she gets really personal with her current partner, all you can do is respect her decisions and understand that there's not a single person on this planet that hasn't explored their naughty side. Often people get jealous, do not let that consume you. It's her life.

thank you so much

the jealous part is actually not about her partner .. but intriguing colleagues.. just 3 of them.. one is really a charming fraud - (who is also touching my ego ).. who throws nasty jokes and sometimes double meaning things and gestures. enough to make a girl laughing
.. the other is a creepy having no real chances
yet another is a cunning? guy who throws some questions at her ....making her speak
I DO NOT ACT THE WAY THEY DO.. NONE OF THEM HAVE WORRIES.. IT IS ALL LEFT WITH ME

i will try not to let that consume me..
thank you so much indeed for your words

I like you, Silent. You're a good person who will have good things come to you, just let life happen - trying to make things happen makes you miss out on things that happen for universal reasons. Life is that of pain, in the sense you are alive, you are susceptible to everything in life, whether it gives you comfort or makes you want to scream inside the eye of silence with all your might, life truly is reflected in the fluctuation of volcano eruptions, raging seas and cosmic storms. But as with all natural chaos, comes new beginnings and peace.

I enjoyed this discussion. That brain of yours is connected to a whole Universe, and the last thing it has to worry about is you holding it back. It's not often that someone realizes their down falls like you do, so when you told me you did not want to feel jealousy and obsessive, I knew you were great. My respect, Silent.

thanks.. but it is just a hope that i can do..
thanks for your good words again... but i know i am not that kind of a good person as this world has. but just wish good enough to be in her friend book

and raging seas is explicit when ever i see the third person who always buys some cookies for her. she wont understand why? and she might think he is so caring

I cannot control the jealous /obsessive part... but your words - "do not let it consume you" surely will keep my mindset clean..
i feel like calm down a bit today.. and could feel a softness. but who knows how long this will keep running?

You are most welcome, Silent. Living life tall and true can make it easy for others to cut you down, just never forget how you lived as a seed.

hei.. but that is against common belief right?

Most people are playing the life of a tree within a seed.

Understand this, and nothing can prevent your success as a human being.

hope so.. but relations get so deep and can become so hot

How are you doing finding some non-work activities to participate in?

did you start to do anything in terms of clubs/hobbies/exercise since the beginning of September?

how about getting out and taking some pix you could share with us here? I'd be very interested in seeing how things look where you live - rather than just 'tourist' pix everyone sees

was going through big turbulences these days...
i found some solace in reading.. bought and finished two classics.. and that really was a good change..

frankly i wanted to set a different mood and stick with it... but . i dont know if i can explain it in words.. but willtry a bit - we had some wonderful time.. took some snaps together .. and so close that i could take her hand...and first week of Sept gone.. i was the luckiest person on earth.. (nobody's feelings hurt i mean she was not flirting or cheating but just reciprocating my gallantries just in a friendly way)
what to do the devil will always thrown one lusting around... it wasnt for bad things.. but being so clingy and literally wanted to prove we are close by touching her again and again and yes the last week she had to tell me it is making her uneasy.. and the following talks invariable had me disclosing something in my mind.. to be honest i did remember your words.. - it is inappropriate to tell her... - i told this instead - you have all the features i wish to see in a woman. and
she -for the first time mentioned about her husband.... and said i cannot imagine anyother one... so it was clear she knew what i was going through..


I am glad that she could tell me this and we are again working together still productive in works. but certainly now a days the jokes are rare and fun is lessor and no longer those closeness or freedom..
i could tell anyone now that it is inappropriate and mistake to tell a married coworker of one's interest.
advancing to her now creates a guilty feeling and are not smooth there is no friendship or open talks. but she was worried about job.. and said you were so good.. but dont know how suddenly had such a change..i assured that if we have such a great similarity we can still do wonders by not ordinary.. and wanted this should not affect our friendship.... at least she is not worried these days. the rest need to be found out.

meanwhile all of this helped me find a disease called ONEITIS dont know if it is a medical term.. but this is it
now my worries shifted to how to escape from oneitis and how to make our friendship warm again

i dont know but i lost few kgs of weight lately..... thought should mentionthat too

3 months.. nothing changed!!
I am happy that I keep trying and concentrated.

I was feeling so down. I dont know if this is love or lust or any other things but glad that there are friends who console.. greateful for the one who contributed this



Question: Please talk about POSSESSIVENESS.

Osho: THERE IS NOTHING WORSE than this that you can do, that you are capable of: reducing a being to a thing. And

that's what possession is.

Only things can be possessed; BEINGS CANNOT BE POSSESSED.
You can have a communion with a being.
You can share your love, your poetry, your beauty, your body, your mind.
You can share but you cannot do business.
You cannot bargain.
YOU CANNOT POSSESS A MAN OR A WOMAN.
But everybody is trying to do that all over the earth.

THE RESULT IS THIS MADHOUSE we call the planet earth. You try to possess -- it is naturally impossible, it cannot

happen in the very nature of things. Then there is misery.

The more you try to possess a person, the more that person tries to become independent of you, because every person has

a birthright to be free, to be himself or herself. YOU ARE TRESPASSING on the privacy of the person, which is the only

sacred place in the whole world. Neither Israel is sacred, nor is Kashi sacred, nor is Mecca sacred.

The only sacred space in the true sense is the privacy of a person -- his or her independence, the beinghood. IF YOU

LOVE A PERSON, you will never trespass. You will never try to be a detective, to be a Peeping Tom, peeping into the

privacy of the other person. You will respect the privacy of the other person. But just look at the so-called lovers --

husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. ALL THEY ARE DOING, around the clock, IS FINDING WAYS TO TRESPASS, to

enter into the private world of the other person.

They don't want the other person to have any PRIVACY. Why? If the person has independence, privacy, individuality, they

are afraid. The person tomorrow may not love them -- because love is not something stagnant. It is a moment, it is

nothing to do with permanency. It may continue for eternity, but BASICALLY LOVE IS A PHENOMENON OF THE MOMENT. If it

happens again in the next moment, you are blessed. If it does not happen, you should be thankful that at least it did

happen before.

Remain open: PERHAPS IT MAY HAPPEN AGAIN -- if not with this person, then with another person. THE QUESTION IS NOT

PERSONS, the question is of love. Love should remain flowing, it should not be stopped. But in their stupidity people

start thinking, "If this person goes out of my hands, then I am going to starve my whole life without love." And he

does not know that by trying to hold this person permanently in his captivity, he will starve. He will not get love.

YOU CANNOT GET LOVE FROM A SLAVE.

You cannot get love from your possessions; from your chair, table, house, your furniture, you cannot get love. You can

get love only from a free agent whose uniqueness is respected by you, whose freedom is respected by you. IT IS OUT OF

THE FREEDOM OF THE OTHER THAT THIS MOMENT OF LOVE HAS HAPPENED. Don't destroy it by trying to possess, by trying to

hold, by creating a legal bondage, a marriage. LET THE OTHER BE FREE, AND REMAIN FREE YOURSELF. Don't let anybody else

possess you either. To possess or to be possessed, both are ugly.

IF YOU ARE POSSESSED, YOU LOSE YOUR VERY SOUL. Lovers love only while they are not yet in a fixed relationship. As the

relationship settles, love disappears. Once the relationship is fixed, INSTEAD OF LOVE, something else takes place:

POSSESSIVENESS. They still go on calling it love, but you cannot deceive existence. Just by calling it love you cannot

change anything. It is now hate, not love. It is fear, not love. It is adjustment, not love. It is compromise, not

love. It can be anything -- but not love.

The deeper you try to understand, the more it will become clear to you that LOVE AND HATE ARE NOT TWO THINGS. It is

just a linguistic mistake to call them love and hate. In the future, at least in psychological treatises and books,

they will not be using "and" between the two. In fact it is better to make one word, "lovehate." They are two sides of

the same coin.

It is over an year by now.. I know..
but how steady still i am trying.
still hopes and little wins here and there
but still the final thing is looking so distant

hi..
one might not get what is inside his head.. the real meaning behind each ideas..
only TIME could prove what those were

What activities are you taking part in outside of work? have you done any travel?

yes i did few pilgrim trips. still no sports and all

This isn't a strange request but interest in someone who is involved and particularly married can just bring pain for all involved. I suggest you put yourself in her husband's position-how would you feel if someone else was interested in your wife and wanted to get involved with her or break you up?

I suggest you keep your relationship completely professional and find other activities to meet women who are single and available. Go to singles events, perhaps join an online site or 2, or go to meet ups. If you participate in activities you find of interest you will have a good time whether or not you find a woman of interest.

Dating at work is a bad idea unless you are in different locations, no interactions with each other. professionally.

I'm sorry you are in pain, but getting involved even emotionally with someone unavailable guarantees pain and heartache. Go for someone available where there is potential for love and happiness. Please update!