Will a girl feel bad when you honestly express your feelings (love) to her ?

How are we exactly know what she would think? I am not aware of any mind readers here in the a2k forum.

Her reaction could go two or more ways:
She could break off the friendship (that happened to me recently with my best friend and myself. Truly painful months these past months have been.) or she could admit falling madly in love with you (that only happens in YA books and Hollywood movies) or somewhere in between in the Friendzone spectrum.
http://able2know.org/topic/214829-1

I am a mind reader. I have read her mind and I have the answer for you. Send me $29.95 and I will gladly tell you what your girl will think. My address is as follows.

Coastalrat
105 Fools Rd.
Simpleton, AZ 12256

People are different. What might upset one girl just might delight another. Only you are in a position to know this, certainly not strangers who've never met your female friend.



How old are you?

Despite the fact that CoastalRat and I rarely agree - don't ask girls this question. Ask any older male whether or not you should tell a girl that you love her.

The answer is 'not until she loves you'...

If she is your friend, and young besides (in this case, let's say, young is under 40), the answer is 'no way on earth should you tell her'

There are a million other ways to work it out.

I am 22. we've known each other since 2 years. she flirts with me. and she is also 22.

The reason I mentioned 40, is that it is, roughly, the age that a woman stops worrying so much about what others think (not that it isn't important), starts accepting many aspects of herself, and gains more assuredness with who she is.

The reason that is important, is that when you know yourself, it doesn't matter if your best friend is in love with you - you know who you are and what you want. You also have the skills to deal with awkwardness, and you are also better able to put yourself in the other persons shoes, and see them as human.

There are very, very few 22 year old's in western society who have this 'sense of things' (ie. it's not impossible they will handle it well if she isn't in love with you, but it's highly unlikely that she will handle it well)

Missing that (being in love with you, or a true sense of who they are), they will run in the other direction.

Besides of which...why do you want to tell her? And it isn't 'because you want her to know how you feel'...because you can make that obvious in an endless amount of ways. So why do you want to speak the words?

...and in considering your answer, also consider that she will ask herself this very question.

I want to tell her because i want to marry her. as you say there are endless amount of ways to make it obvious without speaking the words, please let me know some of them.

With nothing between friendly banter and a full-on declaration of love, I gotta admit I would run screaming at age 22.

At an age a lot closer to 52, I wouldn't necessarily be that receptive, either.

Do you fast-forward through movies, too?

Looks like he didn't buy that Beach Boys album after all.

The one with Surfer Girl, or the one with Fun Fun Fun? Or are they one and the same? Hmmm .....

Most girls would be complimented by a man's expression of love for them. Whether she returns the compliment is something else again. You seem very young and I can understand when young how passionate most are about their first, second and even third romance, in other words we will likely have many romantic budding flings before we settle on that certain special someone. In the interval your feelings for this young lady is overflowing. If I were you, I would declare my feelings and let the chips fall where they may.

Good luck!

Before you express your LOVE, express your admiration, respect, fascination and feeling that you want to be with her. See what she says about all those compliments.

If she talks back to you like that, THEN you can start talking about LOVE.

Err...you know how the two of you get along as friends. You certainly don't know how the two of you would get along as a couple. I'd wait until I was in a relationship a while before deciding whether or not I'd want to marry a girl - even one I was head over heals in love with.

Does she even know you desire her? Does she know you see her as a woman?

Ask her out on a date.

If you can't quite bring yourself to obviously ask her out. Ring her up and say "Hey ####, I'm going to the #### on ###day, would you like to come?" ...unless this is common for the two of you, she might get the idea on the day - otherwise, ask her out on a date.

If you do - bring something small, just to say you thought of her (if she likes chocolate, and small chocolate would be perfect)

As to your question regarding a million ways - that's the subject of books, and online video's...it's not possible to accurately suggest things in a short space, because it's not exactly about what you do, it's about :
- the thought behind what you do
- the attitude behind what you do
- the desire behind what you do
- the respect behind what you do
- the self-assurance behind what you do
- etc

You can look in a woman's eye, and she can know that you want her....and that can be just the smallest part of the whole. How do you explain exactly what your body should be doing while looking in her eye, what your smile should be saying?

The best I can suggest is - look up some videos (there's a few good ones online) regarding flirting, courting behaviour, seduction etc...it's easier to demonstrate the body language than explain it. And despite what anyone says about anything else, it is your body language and how you say things that will be at the root of her knowing you desire her.

In other words, what you do is an important but small part of the message - how you do it is much more important. Think of what you do as the foundation, while how you do it is the house, or business, or cubbyhouse, or hotel - you can guess 'what the whole will be' from the foundation, but you'll never know until you see the building, and you won't know if you find it attractive until you see the building....but building would fall over without the foundation, so it's very important to.

Above is actually a terrible analogy - it's just to paint that 'how' you do something, and say something is terribly important - because it is the part that says 'I desire you / I feel ###/ I am determined /respectful etc) . It's the part that we are attracted to.

Thoughtfulness is lovely, but without desire...thoughtfulness is just friendship. Love is great, but without desire - it's familial. Desire is necessary to passion.

So...does she know you desire her?

I agree with everything you said and just wish to add if he does not let her know and she then go on with her life with another man he will never never forgive himself so at this point it is better to begin to let her know he have feelings toward her as a woman even if it does not work out.

Have you dated at all over those two years?

There's a problem of perspective with this sentiment. Not sure if you're not projecting too much into her behavior towards you... (perhaps leaning too much into the wishful thinking territory).


Are you sure it's amorous flirting or friendly affection to someone she considers a close friend? You need to notice whether she's an all around flirty girl or does she only flirt with you?

I can see this ending in the purchase of night vision goggles.

I don't know why....just a feeling.

Wow. I wish I had this advice several months ago. It's probably some of the best relationship advice I (belatedly) read here at a2k. ((sigh)) Solid stuff I think.