I am so old that I was raised a woman should obey her husband

You're kidding.

I agree entirely.. My wife's father was extremely hard working man, his son and daughter were never allowed to have a opinion and were ordered about like soldiers, his wife worked all her adult life and was only given a small amount of pocket money... She never had a pick in anything, not even the cloths she wore, they had lived with us in a unit on our property's for the last 20 odd years 6 years ago he was put into a nursing home with Alzheimer's and my wife and I were at last thinking we could allow her to have and do as she pleased. But no, she went in every day and sat at his bedside and eventually ended up with Alzheimer's in there with him as well , He died 5 years ago and we visit her mum once a week, she now has no Idea who we are but just sits next to us and repeatedly asks where her husband is. She's 90 now, so it shows that if you are treated as a servant over a long enough period of time, you will no longer treated as human being... You become a THING in the husbands eye's. My wife and I have been together 45 years have 3 son's and 7 grandchildren, neither of us have dominated the other and the wife is Matriarch of the family and I'm highly respected, all as it should be ..we both feel we have earned it. Unfortunately I can't say the same for the rest of my family, seems it has a lot more to do with the genetics on how you end up treating others. ( :-- (.

Thank you for telling us what your family has gone through, tenderfoot. I often listen to what you say.

But in this case, you are blowing smoke -
agreeing that this is what love is -
"loving someone consists of understanding, caring and creating happiness and beautiful feelings of pleasure and excitement every moment."

Love is way past that.

Are you suggesting that Alzheimer's is contageous, or maybe caused by not making decisions throughout one's life?

I understand that - that such thought is new and probably ugly to you.

But it is fairly prevalent in the rest of the world. So - I like Scandinavia, more or less, but mostly more, and think you don't know much about the rest of the world.

Yep... I agree wholeheartedly, unfortunately we have no word for what I feel.. love is a very inadequate word ( like saying I love Bananas ) but I took it for the best way to express my whatever... any other word only brings it into a spiritual or religious context.

Can't understand why you think i am suggesting that... have spent all the years my in-laws started to show signs of it, trying to find out what causes it, and they came down with a lot earlier than I stated. originally it was diagnosed as senile decay and we accepted that as normal state of things.. however when they draw out huge amounts of money from their account and when they went shopping and held a fistful of $100 notes to pay for a couple of cups of coffee and put your socks on over your shoes, and have your fridge full of cartons of milk and tins of beans, it's more than senile decay.

My question was based entirely on what you wrote.

To say "you don't know much about the rest of the world" really made my day - it is so pathetic I had to laugh.......

By the way in Sweden the young couple getting married walk up the aisle in the church together and we NEVER had to say anything about obeying the husband. Man and woman always gave the same promises.