What can I do to earn her trust?

Counseling is an excellent idea so good for both of you for starting at that point.

I think, essentially, you need to be dependable. Over and over and over again. Take care of your child when you say you will. Be home when you say you will, or at least call if circumstances make you late. Do chores without be asked to. That sort of thing. And, of course, talk when she wants to talk about it, and also back off if she doesn't want to. It's usually better to roll the whole thing over with a counselor but sometimes people want to talk both in and out of therapy, so be aware of that and you may need to adjust your communications a bit accordingly.

You need not be her slave and you need not agree to everything she says or suggests, but you have shown yourself to be unreliable in her eyes so you will need to work in order to get that trust back. It's not impossible, but it isn't easy. Good relationships are worth fighting for. So grab your gloves and trunks and water bottle so that you can go 20 rounds.

Best of luck to you, and keep your left up.

You have not ruined anything, you are still together and are moving to make your relationship better. You cheated, and there were reasons why you cheated that should be explored, but don't get bogged down in beating yourself up over it. Move forwards, understand what happened, and work to see that your marriage continues to improve.

RE trust: it comes after everything else, don't get impatient. Be worthy of trust over time and she will learn to trust you again. This may take years.

Marriages CAN survive this, but it takes time. In the meantime, be sure to explore WHY you strayed from the household nest.

Babies take a lot of time and energy away from couple time. Be sure to take short vacations or even overnights with your wife, without children, to keep your marriage fresh - or just to get 8 hours sleep for both of you.

good luck on this.

Thank you for your suggestions.

I agree with all the responding posters so far (how refreshing is that?). Good luck for the long haul, cp.

Think about (and go about) making her fall in love with you all over again.

Realise that once marriage starts...people still have the same emotional/varietal/stimulation needs as before marriage (and then think about what changes in most couples behaviours after marriage). Think about what that means...

I say this because I'm guessing while you love her dearly, you aren't in love with her anymore, nor exactly, she you.

Having love, you have a good base to work from.

The bad news is (or the good news is)...it never stops, for life...have fun.

Make her feel wanted and appreciate her. Make her feel secure with you so you can earn her trust again. Don't give her any reason for her to suspect of you. Try to have all sorts of communication with her. It doesn't matter how, as longest you are communicating with her. Always put your wife first before any other person. She will always be with you, after all she forgave you for what you did to her. You should be glad that you have a good wife. So appreciate her and show her that you truly love her. She is your wife and will always be there for you no matter what. Learn to appreciate her in all ways and love her with all your might. She did marry YOU. That means that she chose to be with you for the rest of her life. You also did the same thing. So learn to love your wife more than you already do. Treat her good, ALWAYS. She deserves it. Love her unconditionally. I am sure she loves you the same way and she truly loves you because she wants to work it out with you. So appreciate her and send her flowers to work for no reason. Surprise her! Make her feel LOVED by YOU. She is YOUR WIFE.