Original Songs

Hey, Cav. I love it anyway. Nothing is dearer than a young man writing an unrequited love song.

And Diane, you need to write a song. You are an original, anyway

tcb, I don't know the date, either...sounds as though someone was killed that you loved..or is it more universal?

Thanks for clarifying. I know all those events, obviously, but I am indeed bad with dates.

No Prob Cav
Happy to oblige
Cheers

Reminds me of Abraham, Martin, and John. Well, I'll have to get on the ball and remenber my two originals that I wrote..

ciao

Yes Letty
It was the death of John Lennon that inspired the song (written the day after)
I always get goose bumps listening to Dion's "Abraham, Martin, and John."
(I thought I saw him walking up o'er the hill)
Go dig up yours
c&c
t

I have read two. I am going to read the rest but I was invited here to post. So I am going to post something. But before that I am going to comment on the two, actually three that I read.

THE FINANCIALLY EMBARRASSED LOVER'S LAMENT

cavfancier,
That was interesting song. I like the comparison of the love with reality. Great mixture.

STEPHANIE GOT MARRIED
cavfancier,
That was a good one. Mainly because I have went through the exact same thing. But it appears your's was more smooth and none painful. But I still connected with what was said.

Don't Get Above Your Raisin'
Letty,
I like the whole idea about this song. It was well done for ten minutes. I think that there is one line that seems a little forced. I know you are trying to rhyme so I understand formation of sentences get rearranged so that it works. But in this instance, "Diamonds on a dress of red," it could work better if it was, "diamonds on a dress that's red." But now I read it and it sounds fine with the "of" but at first it sound too forced. I don't know. Only a suggestion.

Thanks, BlueMonkey. We were just trying to emulate a bad country song.

Greed

Paper is so controlling
Paper with a dead man
Gets lots of things
Flash several and get wait you want
Thoughts can be bought

Chorus:
Bullets fly
People die
Lies grow noses
Smiles grow wider
Friends stab
Family turn
This is the effect
Greed is the cause

Wanting more is Greed
Not enough oil
Sharing out
Countries want it
Not just a little
Every drop

chorus

Want more, Greedy
Win a million
New friends arrive
People are nice
Stupid is everywhere
Money only hides it better

Chorus

Take more, Greedier
Want want want
Satisfaction not guaranteed
More, more, more
Millions is a million short

Give, give, give
Bleeding is not good enough
Take, take, take
Grass is always greener
Mine, mine, mine

Selfish, devouring, ravenous
Greed, Greedy Greedier

Home

Tell me when they talk
Don't let it go
It is not right
Let me know
I'll stop them wrong
They can't
Lead to head stops
Just let me know
Cause I love you
Let me know

Chorus:
Walking home
Darkness shadows hate
Covert evil emerges
Fingers united to pain
Run your little legs
Don't turn back
Come home to my arms
Come home

Your eye is black and blue
Your breath is gone
Tears come to the floor
Your little fingers trimble
Pain is all over
My heart is bruised
Let me know

Chorus

Next time doesn't come
You don't either
In darkness you disappear
They stole my hope
My knees bleed
As I beg you back
I beg you back home

Walking home
Darkness shadows hate
Covert evil emerges
Fingers united to pain
Bats swing no home run
You won't come back
Your home in my arms
Your home in my broken heart
Come home

BlueMonkey, visceral stuff...

Letty, funny you should think that song was about unrequited love. It was actually about love requited, and betrayed, and was written just before we worked things out. Now....when I actually found out what was REALLY going on, and ended it completely, I wrote this:

THE LAST DANCE

When we danced our last waltz, you led, I believe,
and I tried not to step on your pretty new shoes,
and I saw by your smile you had found someone new
to dangle and hang from your heartstrings.

Chorus:
When you were a girl did you make the boys cry
when you tripped on your feet and got trapped in your lies?
I can't help but mourn for my lover of late
who got caught in the act of performance.

When I bid you adieu one morning in June,
you begged my forgiveness that same afternoon,
then wiled away the night in another man's arms,
and told me it was only our love that you treasured.

(Chorus)

Bridge:
Like a phoenix perched on the edge of the grave
I walked in your footsteps, enchanted, enslaved.
I died in your arms when when you made me deliver,
no match for your vice and delusions.

(Chorus)

The tears in your eyes, like an innocent child
torn between love and a boardgame.
Like a moment on film I was captured and framed
to proudly display on your mantle.

(Chorus)

Yeah, I told her....

Nice stuff here folks. Hope you guys havew set of this to tunes.

S'cuse the music historian in me noting: the beautiful tune "Abraham Martin and John", while indeed sung by Dion, was actually written by Tim Hardin. A great songwriter whose best songs were made famous by others. (Reason to Believe comes immediately to mind...)

Tim Hardin....that name strikes a serious bell here, but I can't remember which song it was that I recall....

I also like Tim Hardin's "If I were a Carpenter." Bobby Darin had a hit on that one. Hardin returned the favor by recording Darin's "Simple Song of Freedom."

That's the one....If I were a Carpenter....

Beedle..Wow! Where you been?

If you were a carpenter and I was a lady would you marry me anyway, would you have my baby...

Been here and there Letty, still getting used to the more complicated existence of one with another to consider. Gotta say, I like it.

That's right, If I were a Carpenter was probably his most famous tune, with Reason to Believe (I believe it was Rod Stewart who sold that one in quantity, though it is sadly abused by his oversinging (sorry Stewart fans...). Tim was a west village guy, ran around with Fred Neil and that crowd (you know, "Everybody's Talkin' At Me?")... he was a hard living guy who took it to the edge, and it didn't do him much good. He had, however, a wonderful voice. If you can ever find any of his old recordings you'd see what I mean... and a laid back folky guitar style that was a crowd pleaser.

Sweet Letty, on this thread, I just sit and read and enjoy the talent.
I'm so glad you're all back. Please continue, I'm loving this.

Hey Beedle, all my tunes have music, although for some of the more complicated ones, I have forgotten the chords.

Letty brought up both unrequited love and 10 minute songwriting. This was a toss-off in waltz time I kinda improvised on the spot back in college:

I once had a dream girl, I once had a doll,
who locked herself up in a tower so tall,
If I only had power to scale that wall,
I'd fetch me my dream girl, my doll.

So now in the meantime, I'll sit here and pine,
and wonder how beauty could be so unkind,
she told me she loved me then said she was lying,
so now I'll just sit here and pine.

My heart is shackles, my heart is in chains,
I hate being alone but I don't mind the pain,
she treats me so bad but I want it again,
my heart is in shackles and chains.

So if you have a dream girl, if you have a doll,
don't let her go up in a tower so tall,
for once you get up it's too easy to fall,
hang on to your dream girl, your doll.

Cav... I understand that part. I'm forever finding old tunes tucked away, and because I've forgotten the chords I have to reconstruct them... I once reconstructed one, rewrote it and recorded it, then found an old recording. It was amazing how I'd changed it. It had been conceived as a kind of country waltz and ended up with a perky latin beat.

But I don't mind when that happens. As it is, I have learned always to write (and completely finish) the lyrics before I make any stab at fitting it to tune or chord progression. Always comes out better that way. When I don't I end up getting all hung up in trying to get the lyrics to fit the music, and they end up sounding rigid and unfree. So the way I work is: one week of lyrics, one week of tunesmithing, one week of arranging and polishing, and I end the monthly cycle by recording it. Then I invariably take a week off from all of it just to freshen up my head. Since I still consider myself an active songwriter, I think I've been doing pretty well, finishing about two dozen tunes each year, maybe ending up with ten I would consider decent enough to compile in an album.

I wish I'd come to this approach earlier on in life, but, hey, I keep going...

As far as I'm concerned, it's the greatest thing in the world that computers allow us to record at home. I have learned enough about engineering to match the quality of most of the studio demos I payed way too much to make, years ago... and I work faster this way. The down side is that I live in a one room apartment, which is also my studio, so it's me and a dozen instruments, a control board, outboard gear, computers and wires like a spaghetti nightmare everywhere... (;?)

No title
Everyone's so freakin' talented. Everything I say seems pitiful. So, for all it's worth, here's some thing I wrote

It has no title.

I can't even remember the last time that you cried
But I do remember there was nothing in your eyes
Everything you said to me last night when you were gone
Echoes in the hollows of my brain.

chorus
"Little little princess. Don't look down when you're alone.
Don't act up, don't be different. Just watch the clock and hope for heaven."

Imprinted on sand and lost in little candy stores
Everything that makes me what you thought I am.
Every sigh and every question of intellect
Every shock that burned my soft fingertips

chorus

Something happened that last time that you cried
Maybe someone was sick, maybe someone died
I don't care about this everlasting irony
When my mind is blank your mute words come to me

chorus

everything you said was untrue
everything you said wasn't real
everything you said was sad and dying
everything you said wasn't obeyed
You weren't obeyed.