i love my cousin but she don't tell me wether she do or not

i'm so glad that members start to post replies to help me about this problem , i'll start to answer u about anything u want to know in the next posts , insha2allah (god willing) , and about my language difficulty u must try to help me with ( i'm not an american , i'm egyptian and try to do as much as i can with my english language )

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ossobuco wrote:

Amrco - given your basic difficulties with the language here (which we will be glad to help you with), why would you taunt an early poster?

I'll admit she was admitting enjoyment of an unusual post for this forum. A2k tends not to be boring. Don't take that personally, please.

Most of us - but not all of us - reading are perplexed that you would consider marrying someone you hardly know, or that she would consider marrying you. Some of us here on a2k are from cultures where arranged marriages are the norm.

For others of us, this is amazing, that someone would be able to choose our life partner for us. In any case, we do understand we have different cultures.

i can't get u , but this is not an arranged marriage , and i understood your opinion about the PQ 's post and forgiven her .

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honey_rose_cr wrote:

stuh505 wrote:
If you noticed slanty foreheads on your inbred childrens' foreheads, a vicegrip can do wonders to correct that; worked for the Egyptians.

+

Amrco wrote:
i'm from Egypt , i'll answer u to the end .

stuh505's comment was extraordinarily accurate then? Wow, that's damn creepy...

Amrco, if your cousin is only 16, chances are she won't have decided what she wants in life. It is a very young age to get engaged, and for a teenager that young, that much commitment can seem extremely daunting. Have you ever 'done' anything with her? Kissed her? More?

How are you so sure she loves you back?

i want first to say that i want to know her feelings towards me to decide then wether i can engage her without fear of being rejected or not .

second , i hadn't kissed her or any other thing , because our religion and culture didn't permit that , but i sent her many messages on e-mail and mobile , visited her when she was ill , and the certain thing i know is that she said to other elder cousin of both of us that she wants to dance with me .

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mushypancakes wrote:

Silence speaks across all cultures, doesn't it?

She goes quiet when you tell her you love her and want to engage her. I think that is an answer. It means "I don't want to talk about it".

why can u be so confident about that ,
u forget to ask me about if i'm a friend of her big brother ,
and the answer will be yes ,
couldn't this reason be an answer for her silence ( she's afraid of me telling her big brother about her love to me )

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Do you think perhaps if you were to engage her now, that her family might shun you AND her for going against their beliefs? Might that be a little harsh on her? Maybe she does love you, but she loves her parents/siblings more, so she wouldn't want to risk losing them, for you?

Sorry if that sounds harsh. It just seems, that if you were offering her something that might mean completely cutting off from the rest of her family (if they disapprove) she might be reluctant.

Would you tell her brother? Maybe you should talk to her alone, reassure her that she can trust you not to tell anyone, and see what you can work out between you from there..

Were the emails and mobile messages flirtacious? Or were they just general chit-chat?

(Just trying to see the whole situation)

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Amrco wrote:

why can u be so confident about that ,
u forget to ask me about if i'm a friend of her big brother ,
and the answer will be yes ,
couldn't this reason be an answer for her silence ( she's afraid of me telling her big brother about her love to me )

Unless she speaks up, it is unknown what she thinks and feels.

You seem to be convinced that if you keep pushing, and digging, you will eventually get the answer you are looking for.

You obviously want her to love you like you her, and to want to engage you.

So what?

It doesn't mean it is so.

You are putting all this pressure on this girl. I think you are a bit pushy. Especially considering what you think she feels and what her reservations may be.

Your method isn't working so well, or else you wouldn't whine here with pleeeeeeezzeee.

I'm trying to help. Step back and see what she does now. You have made yourself clear.
It's up to her now.

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Can't you just continue to be in touch with her through emails and such, and not try to push for more right now? Just develop more of a friendship with her.

(By the way, I haven't found your English to be difficult to understand, you're doing very well with it in my opinion. Smile

)

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I agree with cyphercat. In my country it customary to form a friendship before continuing onto a more serious relationship. This way it helps us decide if that's really who we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

Welcome to A2K :-D

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honey_rose_cr wrote:

Do you think perhaps if you were to engage her now, that her family might shun you AND her for going against their beliefs? Might that be a little harsh on her? Maybe she does love you, but she loves her parents/siblings more, so she wouldn't want to risk losing them, for you?

Sorry if that sounds harsh. It just seems, that if you were offering her something that might mean completely cutting off from the rest of her family (if they disapprove) she might be reluctant.

Would you tell her brother? Maybe you should talk to her alone, reassure her that she can trust you not to tell anyone, and see what you can work out between you from there..

Were the emails and mobile messages flirtacious? Or were they just general chit-chat?

(Just trying to see the whole situation)

who said that i want to engage her now , i want to do that but later , all i wanna do now is to know her feelings towards me ,

i won't tell her brother any thing of course , but i think she thaught that ,

i have some secrets about her , like she is chating with me at 4, 5 a.m. without her family knowledge , with a clue to that that she somtimes close the conversation at once without any known reason , and when i asked her she said to me sorry ,

i know also so many secrets about her and she knew that , and she ask me not to tell her parents about that ,

i can't flirt her in her face unless i kneeeeeew her feeeeeeeeeelings

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mushypancakes wrote:

Amrco wrote:

I'm trying to help. Step back and see what she does now. You have made yourself clear.
It's up to her now.

this is exactly what i had done starting from 2 days before , thank u for helping and i hope god help me in this hard decision .

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childish prankster (please be one..no one can be that bad..can they)

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cyphercat wrote:

Can't you just continue to be in touch with her through emails and such, and not try to push for more right now? Just develop more of a friendship with her.

(By the way, I haven't found your English to be difficult to understand, you're doing very well with it in my opinion. )

i 'm trying but her way of treating me can't help me to continue any more so i decided to step back ( to wait & see )

( by the way thanks about ur opinion about my english , but there was a previous member earlier write that it is not well in that issue Sad

)

honestly i think that u r a gift from skies to me and to that forum , and i'm getting happier every time i read ur posts to me Embarrassed

.

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Montana wrote:

I agree with cyphercat. In my country it customary to form a friendship before continuing onto a more serious relationship. This way it helps us decide if that's really who we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

Welcome to A2K :-D

thanks and i'll say to u the same answer i had said to cyphercat .

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i love my cousin but she don't tell me wether she do or not

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