Do Lesbians Make Good Parents?

I'm back to my question, and I agree that the poll could have been phrased better....I just wanted to see if people would generalise, and it seems no, they don't.

Generalisations have been bugging me lately, hence the topic raised. Everyone seems to see the gay scene etc as a shag scene, with no real skills in anything deeper or more meaningful. I keep getting told to go out and have fun, that I'm too young to be in a relationship, but this is by people who see the only thing as fun is having sex with strangers...to me , this is ok if it suits you, but its not for everyone. I can have just as much fun, if not more with my partner, and I love being so close to someone, loving someone.

What's wrong with wanting more than just self orientated things?

Hmm, I think I will start a new topic on this...

Do! (Nice to see you back.)

Good to see you again, Carrie. The poll may not have been what you intended, but it certainly led to an interesting discussion (that has continued for me, IRL), until we errrrrr digressed.

Throw us another interesting thread topic!

Oh goodie - a quiz.

Whats a "fanny pack"?

and whats a "baby shower"?

language gets difficult when it gets cultural ... ;-)

Good. Now that we got that out of the way - what was the question?

Oh, yeh - I voted for that, long time ago. As good as any.

so nimh, any luck determining what a fanny pack or a baby shower is?

they're definitely north american terms. i will admit to owning many fanny packs. 3 are dedicated to various dog-walking pursuits.

i've been to baby showers, never hosted one.

nope. still waiting for y'all to help me out. in the meantime i figgered i probly havent had either.

the ubiquitous fanny pack

tho, in some areas they're worn the other way round and called belly bags

i have a couple with water bottles for dog-walking purposes - pockets for treats, pockets for poop bags, pockets for change and cell phone - and two hands free to hold the dogs' leashes

Poop bags. Poop bags. Things have changed since I last had a dog. Not complaining... I like the result of conscientious dog owners carrying poop bags. But wow, poop bags.

Oh wait, I just realized what a diaper pail is. They aren't that different, are they?

(I'm SO glad the sozlet is potty trained...)

and then there is the fascinating phenomenon of the baby shower. i can't say much on the topic, as i have some 'issues' with them. simply said, they are parties for a mother (or mother and father)-to-be where gifts are given, very bad food is eaten, and horribly silly games are played. It's embarassing for most adults involved.

The silly games are... silly. I liked my baby shower, though. I had refused to organize one myself, since I had similar issues, and my staff arranged a surprise baby shower for me at a local restaurant, after hours. Roped in E.G. and everything. (To get me there.) I got lots of actually useful things, (some not-useful things, but what the heck, donated 'em to Goodwill) and we just ate and laughed and the parents there gave advice. It was a lot of fun.

Conscientious, and afraid of being fined. I just read about a community in the U.S. where there is a $142 fine for not picking up after your dog, and another $142 fine for not having anything with you to pick up after your dog. So if you've got the bag, but don't use it, it's $142. If you don't pick up, and don't have a bag it's $284 !!! Apparently, in some communities you have to have the disposal equipment visible - so you can't have the bags in your pouch or pocket - you've got to have them in your hand the whole time.

Oh, I hate those! So I answered right. Though I can see how they can come in useful. I've just managed to live my life in such a way that I wouldnt need them, I guess.



Well, I mean ... when my sister had a baby I bought a present of course (two, in fact - one for the baby and one for her, cause everybody else was bound to just buy stuff for the baby, y'know). And everybody else bought a present as well, xcept for my father, who's hopeless at these things. But there wasnt a common lets-all-get-together about it. In fact, my sister and her man decided to spread the visitors out as much as they could, to avoid too much stress at one time. Definitely no silly games.

Concerning the presents, it was Stasia who pointed out that in Europe, people give much fewer and much less expensive presents. When she told me that people spend literal hundreds of dollars for Christmas presents, I must say I was taken a little aback! For Christmas here we'd buy something small, and for Sanata Clause (thats 5 December), also something relatively small, accompanied by a self-written rhyme/poem and, if you have kids or live in a students apartment <wink>, a creative and preferably messy DIY packaging gimmick (called "surprise", pronounced like it was French).

Trust me to take this thread totally off-topic, huh? ;-)

Yeah, that goes with an observation I made recently ("What are you wearing today?", maybe) about how Europeans dress vs. Americans. Europeans tend to have fewer, higher-quality clothes, which they tend to wear more often. Americans tend to have lots and lots of clothes, and change them often (wearing the same outfit two days in a row is seen as slightly seedy.)

E.G. is totally opposed to the concept of Christmas and big spending... gets really, really grumpy about it. I like making things, which tends to satisfy both extremes -- I try to make NICE things, that the recipient actually enjoys getting and which otherwise would cost a lot, but which don't in fact cost much money, just time. (For example, last Christmas I made my mom a skirt from some linen curtains I had bought for $5 at an outlet, bordered with an Indian sari border that I'd had for several years, and a matching handbag from the rest of the sari border. She adores it.)

At any rate, it's hard to just refuse to buy in (literally) -- there's this whole tit for tat thing. If I get someone a nice little object, and they get me something that costs 10 x as much... that worked OK when we were starving students, but we're adults now who live in a big house.

But yeah, it gets silly.

I've opted out of the whole wedding/baby shower thing. If I care about the couple/family there will be an appropriate gift, that I will deliver personally - out of the party setting. If I don't care much, there may be a card. About 15 years ago I adopted a new rule for weddings - if I don't care if they're gonna make it - I don't go. It's made life a lot easier - less money and time wasted.


nimh - you've got to have fanny packs if you've got dogs. A friend tried using a fishing vest to carry all the required stuff - it was a disaster - the water bottles kept falling out when she bent over.

I have only been to one "shower" - and it was a spoof! We all wore shower caps - very silly ones- and all the women except me and the bride came in their bride's maid frocks (I have never been a bride's maid - only a best person twice - so I came in one of my best person outfits). Horrific gifts were given - consisting of either the real horrid gifts given to various of us upon marriage, or close facsimiles thereof - and one real gift, which we had clubbed together for. It was a fearsome sight.

I think we need a thread - with photos - of horrid bridesmaid's dresses we have worn. I can't contribute - I think I tossed the last photo when I moved into this house. The thought of all those bows going down my back from shoulders to bum <<<shudder>>>