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Wed 20 Jun, 2007 09:59 pm
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* Renots
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Renots
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I have been married for 2 years. We both have been faithful throughout. She found out she was pregnant 4 weeks ago. Trying for 4 months. 1 month before she found out she was pregnant she told me that she was unhappy with our relationship and she didn't think that I was the one for her. Nothing specific just a void in her that I did not fill. She is unhappy and depressed.
She wanted to stop trying to have kids and possibly try to separate for a bit.So we stopped trying--but it was too late she was pregnant. When she told me she was pregnant she was crying and said that this was the worst day of her life. She wants to have the baby.
I was thrilled she was pregnant because she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love her more than everything. I went out and bought pregnancy books, cook every meal and keep the place spotless. I am trying to support her in every way. I sleep in another room because she doesn't want to be near me--I respect that. There is no affection anymore.
I know she is going to leave me after baby comes. Should I wait around for that.
Hmmmm.
I'm a little confused about the time line.
She was pregnant by the time she decided she was unhappy and you two discussed separating? Is that right?
I've never been pregnant so I'm just guessing here but maybe her changing hormones played a part in her depression. Maybe some of the moms on A2K can fill us in on early pregnancy emotions. Has she talked to her doctor about any of this?
I'm also confused about the day she found out she was pregnant - it was "the unhappiest day of her life" but she wants to have the baby? Is that right?
I'm wondering about her reasons - does she really want to have a baby or is she just against abortion or what?
The reason I ask is that you sound like you would really like to have a baby. Would she consider letting you have sole custody if you two split up?
respose to boomerang
She was not pregnant when she decided she did not want to be with me anymore. She has had 2 abortions from 2 previous relationships and will not consider another. She is definately going to have the baby. She stated that she will seek joint custody.
Ok, she has made it clear that you are going to be divorced after the baby comes. You're sticking around mainly because you want to support her and help her through her pregnancy because you care about the baby. She claims that she will seek joint custody -- and what if she doesn't?
Keep a journal of this time. Keep a record of the things you are doing, how you're helping around the house etc, the books you're reading, how you know that she will leave you but you are doing this because you still love her and the baby.
This way, if she changes her mind, you will have an amazing record showing what a good dad you are...which you can use to make sure you get joint custody even if she changes her mind later.
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