Corporate Lessons

Corporate lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gave in, quickly wraped herself up in a towel and ran downstairs. When she opened the door, there
stood Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she said a word, Bob said, "I'll
give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman dropped her towel and stood naked in front of
Bob. After a few seconds, Bob handed her 800 dollars and left.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wrapped back up in the towel and went back upstairs. When she got back to the bathroom, her husband asked from the shower, "Who was that ?" "It was
Bob, the next door neighbor," she replied. "Great," the husband said, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me ?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk in advance with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.
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Corporate lesson 2

A devout man was driving along and saw a woman on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, causing her wrap-dress to open and reveal a lovely leg. The man had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The woman looked at him and immediately said, "Sir, remember Psalm 129?"
The man realized the woman was also devout and was flustered. He apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The woman once again said, "Sir, remember Psalm 129 ?" Once again the man apologized. "Sorry mame, but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the woman's house, she got out gave him a meaningful glance and went inside. On his arrival at his home, the man rushed to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss
a great opportunity.
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Corporate Lesson 3

A sales representative, an administration clerk and their manager are
walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie said, "I usually only grant
three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first ! Me first!" said the administration clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof ! She's gone. "Me next ! Me next !" said the sales representative. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas
and the love of my life beside me." Poof ! He's gone. "OK, you're up,"
the Genie said to the manager. The manager said, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
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Corporate Lesson #4

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. The new
boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room is full of workers and the boss wanted to let them know he means business! The CEO walked up to the guy and asked, "How much money do you make
a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looked at him and replied, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then handed the guy $300 in cash and screamed, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers muttered, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

Moral of the story: Always become familiar with your company before you make any changes or you risk going hungry at lunch time.