<inserting finger in ears, hiding the cat>
I can't hear you lalalalala.
Eva wrote:Aw, thanks, M!
I don't need defending, though. Kicky's just teasing. (Mostly
)
Oh, I know and I'm just teasing him right back (mostly
)
Better watch out, boomer. I'll sic Montana on you!
On a scale of 1-10 I'd have to give A2K a 9. Honestly... for being an internet forum I'd have to say that this place has the best diversity of perspectives, ideals, and advice. Sometimes people need an outside opinion from strangers. It seems to help. I really like that people here tell it how it is without sugar coating it to spare peoples feelings. Not being mean necessarily, but just giving a wake up call.
Having been through what I went through and looking back now I see the value in a lot of things that I was told that I unfortunately didn't understand at the time. Things look a lot different from the outside looking in vs the inside looking out. So yeah... I think if there's any place to go for advice outside of those who are close to you... here is where I would recommend.
I have to say in all honesty that I've found this site to be of great help when it comes to getting practical advice on all manner of things.
I first discovered able2know when I was looking for a solution for a problem I was having with my Rainsoft system.
Having read one particular thread which answered my question, I lurked for a while, mightily impressed with the sheer physical numbers who post here, the variety of topics and the good advice being dished out.
I too noted the coffee table advice and made a mental note at the time, as I was experiencing a very similar problem.
I'll just say here and now that I don't own a cat and only drink Chardonnais which isn't all that flammable.
About a week later, I cooked a meal for my then g/f and after we'd eaten we settled down for what promised to be a romantic evening.
Not going into too much detail, the coffee table moment arrived. It was then that I realised that my glass top table was not fit for purpose so, as she was picking small shards out of her leg, I decided to pop out and buy a more sturdy version.
Thinking green I passed by several furniture stores, making my way to the one about a mile away which sold wooden furniture made solely from sustainable forests.
I took a little while selecting my new table, as not only did I want it to be strong enough to support a body or two, it needed to be practical enough in design yet small enough to fit into my living area without causing me to detour every time I walked to the kitchen.
Carrying this item back home was hard enough, but the final act of dragging it up numerous flights of stairs caused me to strain several muscles in my lower back.
By the time I'd shuffled the thing past the door, my then g/f had cleaned up the broken glass and flecks of blood, had put on her coat and was waiting for me to get the table clear of the doorway so she could make her exit.
Despite sending her several texts in an attempt to lure her back with an evening of chicken fajitas and a DVD of "the way we were", I have heard nothing from her.
Looking back, I still think that the coffee table advice would have worked, had I properly prepared beforehand and installed the correct item of furniture.
If this advice is ever given out in future, I would recommend that this detail be factored into the equation.
Thank you.
Re: Have you taken advice in the R&M forum? How'd that w
kickycan wrote:I asked a question once about a girl who I was seeing that wouldn't put out after three whole weeks of dating. Eva who told me to just throw her down on the coffee table and take her. I believe she then called me a derogatory term like "thimble dick" or "panty waste."
The next night I was with my girl. We were at her place, watching a movie and drinking some grain alcohol, just like any other Tuesday night. Things were getting cozy, and I was feeling a little sassy, so I decided to try Eva's idea.
I grabbed her and threw her down on the coffee table, just like Eva told me to do. Unfortunately, the lit match with which she had been about to light a cigarette was very close to her hair, and it (her hair) went up like a bundle of dry wood shavings. She screamed and the match went arcing through the air, still lit. I watched in horror as it (the lit match) landed in a puddle of grain alcohol that had just been created by her leg knocking over the bottle when I'd thrown her down on the table. The now-flaming alcohol spilled down over her cat, which had been curled up in a ball sleeping on the rug directly below the coffee table. It (the cat) jumped up, engulfed in flame, and began running around the apartment, making the most horrible gutteral wailing noises I've ever heard.
My girl was screaming--mostly stuff like, "I'm on fire! I'm burning! I'm on FIRE!" I thought that was quite unoriginal, but decided that this would probably be a bad time to bring it up. Instead, while she was slapping wildly at her own flaming head, I quickly ran to the kitchen, grabbed a carton of milk out of the fridge, and poured out the contents all over her head. It worked, and my girl stood there, covered in milk, wearing a grimace of irradicable sorrow, feeling around on her smoke-damaged and fire-singed head for what had been a lovely cascading mane of blonde hair. She gingerly moved her hands over the bubbled brown blisters and charred flesh, and began to cry. I felt relieved that at least she couldn't see the red, raw, oozing bald patches and the short tufts of burned hair that still remained. Not a turn on, let me tell you. It was at that moment that I decided this relationship was not going to work out.
But I still had to find the cat before he set fire to the whole damn building.
I ran to the bedroom, which was the last place I remembered seeing the flaming feline. After a few seconds of panicked searching, I found him on the cool tile of the master bathroom--what was left of him anyway. The little ball of smoking fur and flesh that had until recently been Fluffy, beloved pet and companion animal, gave off a stink that could have dropped birds from the skies. I stumbled back out of the room, retching and trying not to vomit.
When I got back to the living room, my girl had put out the small puddle fire from the grain alcohol, and was now wiping up the mess and sobbing mysanthropically. She saw me then and her face changed. Her look of misery slowly turned to one of controlled rage. "I'm going to kill you," she said to me then, in the matter-of-fact tone of one who has snapped. I did what any man would do in that situation. I ran out of that apartment as fast as I could, and didn't look back.
Thank god she didn't know where I lived, or I might have been worried about retribution.
Yeah, right. You expect us to believe this cock and bull story? I mean, you expect us to believe that any of this really happened?
I mean, c'mon - like any of us would believe that you'd actually take advice from
Eva!
Or that you'd pass up a chance at a cat-kabob.
Now, THAT was funny, DrewDad!!!
Ok, why would anyone take relationship advice from a bunch of strangers on an internet forum? I cannot comprehend why people want to come on here and ask others about their personal issues. I mean, you might get advice from Slappy and think he knows what he is talking about. Or God forbid that you might take a clown's advice. Now how would that look?
Oh wait, forget that last line. A clown's advice is good. Always right to the point and excellent. I mean, after all, some clowns have been married for many, many years and know what they are talking about. Just ask my wife (but not before I tell her what to say please.)
