SonofEva goes to Japan!

SonofEva is on his way back to Tulsa. He should arrive here around 6:30 p.m.

Umm.....I just received this e-mail from the mother of his host family in Japan. I am a little worried now.

"(SonofEva) left Utunomiya at this noon.I had been worried about his poor appetite during his staying.He did't accept the food of Japan,even Macdonald's humbergers.I tried to cook American style as he can eat.I'm sorry that I did't make him pleased,because he did't smile much at our home except the time of playing PS2.(Our son) had a midterm exam.so,he had to study and did't have much time with (SonofEva).I don't hope (SonofEva) dislike Japan in this trip."

Oh, dear....

The food problem doesn't sound good; I hope that didn't override his other experiences in Japan. When my wife and I went to Japan a few years ago on a buddhist pilgrimage, we ate Japanese food 100% of the time, and we loved it. I know some friends who hate Japanese food, but that doesn't mean they hate everything Japanese. Our younger son would rather eat steak and potato over Japanese food, but will eat sashimi and rice once-in-awhile.

Not to worry, Eva, because I think it's a matter of culture shock.

We'll find out when he gets home, I guess. Meanwhile, I sent the mother this message:

"I will ask him about these things when he gets home. His flight arrives at 6:20 this evening, and it is almost noon now.

Thank you for trying to find foods he would like. Please don't be worried. (SonofEva) does not have a big appetite. We noticed that (your son) ate a lot more than (SonofEva) when he stayed with us. Also, (SonofEva) is very serious about doing the right thing. Since everything in Japan was a new experience for him, I'm sure he was concentrating very hard and that's why he didn't relax and smile more. I hope he was polite and courteous to everyone. His e-mails did sound like he was enjoying himself.

Thank you for taking good care of him and showing him what it is like to live in Japan. I will write again after I talk with him."

Eva--

Other people's mothers can be worrysome creatures. Your reply was excellent. His Japanese hostess may have expected him to be a Bouncing Bumptious Disney Boy instead of a somewhat introverted American kid.

Even if he had a week of pure hell--which I doubt--you can be proud that you've raised a courteous kid. His e-mails certainly didn't sound as though he was starving to death or completely overwhelmed by the Ancient Orient.

Hold your dominion.

What letty said.

Make sure he reassures his host parents personally. Face is important.

That's an understatement for the Japanese!

SonofEva got in late last night...delayed flights...and is seriously jetlagged this morning. I'll talk to him more about this later, but he was puzzled when I told him about her e-mail. He thought the trip went just fine.

(Thank you for the suggestion that I have him reply personally. I don't know much about Japanese customs, so I wouldn't have known it was that important.)

Eva--

Good news. You must be relieved.

Whew...! Looking forward to further details when he's caught up on his sleep a bit...

Here's the e-mail SonofEva just sent to his host mom. (I helped him a little and made him use spellcheck on it, too. )

Dear Mrs. ___,

Thank you again for letting me stay at your house. I had a great time and would like to come to Japan again someday if I can. Japan is a very interesting country with many fun things to do. The best part of my trip was getting to stay with you and ___. You helped me to understand so many things. I felt very welcome in your home. I wish ___'s father had been there so I could meet him too. Please tell him hello from me. Please don't worry about the food. It was all new for me, and it was hard to get used to because it was so different. I will have to try more Japanese food here before I come again. I understand about ___ having to study so much. I have a lot of homework too. I never did see his photos of the school trip to Kyoto. Can he send them by e-mail?

Your friend,
(SonofEva)

Sounds good to me.

Nice letter; it takes the burden off the hosts, and makes them feel more relaxed now. I think both families learned something valuable from this experiece, and as we gain more experience hosting other children and ours being hosted in other countries, we increase the connections we have with peoples all over this small planet we call home.

That sounds like the mission statement of this program, c.i.

Thanks for the thumbs-up on the letter. I hope it is enough to reassure her. SonofEva had a great time. He's already talking about wanting to go again!

EVA You should also write a separate note saying you are happy to have your son back, he's obviously been well looked after and he's talking about going again. It should be separate from you sons letter. You would probably already have thought of doing that anyway I'm sure.

The chap who runs the bulletin board I linked to earlier in this thread is a USA-Japan exchanger and also into Kendo.


On a related but unconnected note.

Around 2 years ago we had a Swedish student stay in our home on a rotary exchange for 8 months. She was in the disrtict for 12 months but spent some time with other families.

It was a real tear jerking moment putting her on the plane to go home.

Anyhow... she emailed a few weeks ago and asked if she could come and stay again for summer her holidays.

I drove to Melbourne (2.5 hour drive) and picked her up at the airport last night.
The trip home went well and we chatted about school and home etc.

20 mins from home the car died. (an electrical problem)
!!!!!

I had to phone a friend to rescue us and drive us into town.

So....... bit of an adventure.

Eva--

Your son wrote a very sincere, very gracious Bread & Butter note, spell check and all.

When you write you might mention that his serious expression means he's intaking and processing information.

Cheers for International Friendship!

Hold your dominion.

Yes, I owe her a thank-you note for the gifts she sent back with SonofEva. I will include those ideas...thanks! I might also mention that he's a bit self-conscious about smiling right now because of his teeth. He gets braces on Friday.

(It's a good line but the truth is, he's just being a typical 13 year old boy. Heaven forbid they appear enthusiastic about anything, y'know...it's not "cool." )

Eva--

Remember, very few American kids every get yelled at when they are being quiet and mannerly. SonofEva was drawing on his lifelong experience of acceptable behavior. He may have been "cool" but he was also being "safe".

Welcome back to Australia, huh, dadpad?!

We had our own "oh no!" moment when we hosted the Japanese student in March. You know how important cleanliness is to the Japanese, right? So the day after he arrived, the toilet in his bathroom overflowed. He was...mortified.