my boyfriend and my best friend

You "recently" finished a "5 year" relationship, and took up with a guy you have known for "a year". Yet you are jealous when he is near your best friend!

You may be right to be jealous! If your friend is like you, she might steal him! Or, you are judging your friend by your own standards ecause you feel guilty perhaps.

Get over yourself.

contrex, she could easily have just been friends with the guy she's known for a year, and then started that relationship after the other one broke up.

As in, not necessarily anything to be guilty about.

ellaneza, you know that your current boyfriend has an interest in your best friend, which is unusual in these circumstances. The problem is just what you do with that information. He's not currently with her, he's with you. Whether he likes her "better," in the abstract, is immaterial -- he's with you.

I understand that jealousy doesn't always respond to reason, but ultimately it's something that you're able to put aside, or not. I wish I had more specific advice for you.

Good luck!

I don't think you can just get rid of this feeling. It will take time and as your relationship develops you will probably relax about it as you become more comfortable with each other and learn to trust. Maybe you could discuss this with him and let him know how you feel.

Guys are always gonna look at other pretty women, whether you catch them doing it or not.

Good luck

x

Ellaneza--

Welcome to A2K.

Your emotions are probably a bit battered after breaking up with a guy you'd been close to for five years. Doubting your own attractiveness is normal under these circumstances.

Ideally you shouldn't rush into another relationship on the rebound--you're too vulnerable right now to be thinking absolutely clearly.

Remember, no other person in the universe is capable of making you happy and secure. You make yourself happy and secure.

You recognize that your jealousy is irrational. Good. This is an enormous first step.

For second step and third step and fourth step...and for the rest of your life steps...start being your own best friend. Congratulate yourself when you do something well. Maybe you've climbed Mount Everest before breakfast. Maybe you've finally gotten around to straightening out the mess in your checkbook. Maybe you just bent down and scooped up that vile dust woolly that has been annoying you all day.

Obviously you have faults--and being your own best friend doesn't give you the right to ignore faults--but keep up with the cheerful self-admiration and your jealousy will melt away.

You know that this new guy was interested in your best friend and could very well still have eyes for her. If I were in your shoes, I'd be uptight too.

Messy relationships always leave room for doubt and distrust.

hint: all guys look at all girls all the time. blame god

Noddy said it much better than I could have said it myself, but at the same time, like Eoe exressed, I'd feel uneasy about it myself.

Good luck to you.

Yeah, it does sound messy. Especially if the three of you spend a significant amount of time together and your best friend is single now.
She had a boyfriend at the time but now?

All I can think of here to help is to remind you to take it slow with your new boyfriend. You were friends for a year but circumstances were different then.
It's takes time to know someone and trust them as more than fun company.

Your jealousy seems normal to me in the circumstances. Good luck.

I'll be having a talk with Kicky about that!