Only 2 more months to go!

My niece got pregnant at 17, boyfriend 19 (she was to receive a 4-yr. scholarship). Oh, they had some rough times even with much assistance from family. Don't know how they managed it, but both have college degrees now, and both good jobs. He's a tech for AMD, she just got her first job as a legal assistant (mostly computer courses, or through scholarships. The kids are fine, extreeeeemly independent now, but girl that was hard for them. Take care of yourself, eat healthy, take vitamins, and keep yourself regular.

Thanks your the only one that has even said anything like that. I do have it all planned out and I think that its going to work.

Eva wrote:

I've seen this story over and over too, GW. I think we all agree that people are better equipped to handle parenting when they are older and more established. But...the fact is, it's too late to have that discussion. She is already pregnant. VERY pregnant!

So...what can you say to Loren that will actually HELP her?

Fair enough.

One: Loren should make a contract with herself. She should write down all her hopes and dreams and goals. She should post it where she can see it to remind herself why she is working so hard, and why it will be worth it to keep going and become the best that she can be. It is easy to forget our goals when things do not go smoothly. This document should be a map to success for her own reference.

Two: She should keep a journal or diary starting now. She should write this journal to her child and honestly tell her experiences as a young mother. She should use this journal to learn from and teach her child what it is like to have a baby at 16.

Three: She should expect the best (she already does), but prepare for the worst. She should concentrate on getting good, marketable skills and she should start a savings account for herself and the baby. The goal should be $5000 in three years. If she puts away $5 a day for three years she will have over $5000 and a safety net for emergencies. She should tell NO ONE about this money- it's her secret. If she doesn't need it, she can put it towards her child's college fund.

Four: She should take control of her body and not have any more children until she can support herself, and the baby, with or without a man.

Loren Whetstone wrote:

Thanks your the only one that has even said anything like that. I do have it all planned out and I think that its going to work.

Loren, honey, you can have it planned out but you can't expect it to go that way. You can hope....You can set a plan but you are talking about another life here. It can't be predicted how your baby will be, if she will be healthy, if you will be healthy, if your boyfriend will stay...on top of that, you are only 16, which may seem so mature to you right now but trust us all when we say you will change your mind a hundred times before you hit 25 about what you want in life and in a partner and from yourself.

It's good to hear that you have a positive attitude about this because you can't very well give the baby back now, although adoption is an option. I am pregnant now and can't imagine giving this baby up though, so I imagine you feel the same.

But being 16, you can't imagine what life has out there for you. Not because you are stupid but because of your limited time here to explore it. You say you don't want to go out and party but being a teenager is more than that. It's not worrying about a rent payment or a car payment or how you're going to feed your baby. It's calling your best friend at 2am to tell her all about the date you just had. Or sleeping in til 11am just because you can! I am sad to know that you will miss out on being able to just be a teenager and develop as a person without the responsibility of helping to develop another person. You will have to fast forward your life. And this life is so short already.

Back in the day, people had babies earlier and were mothers by the time they were 16 because life expectancy was shorter and they had to. But now we have the luxury of stopping to smell the roses. It saddens me that your stop in the flower garden is so short.

I am not saying your life is over. Truly, it has only begun! Your new baby is a blessing. But it will be so different from what it could have been and unless you keep your head in the game, you won't accomplish all you want to. You need to know that most people don't fulfill their life dreams without being in the situation you are in. And the ones that do often don't do it until they are much older. It's hard to stick to a plan with so many variables.

You have a major challenge ahead of you. And I do wish you the best.

No I wasnt trying to get pregnant for 2 years. I was jsut surprised that I didnt get pregnant sooner. I have verything planned out and I know its going to work. There are a lot of things out there that can help me. I will finish high school. I already have 2 babysitters for me. but I really dont need them becasue my boyfriend is going to be home when Im at schoo. So he can take part in his resposiblity when Im gone.

I havent missed out on anything and Im not going to either. Ive done my fair share of ahving fun and I can tell you the truth I really could care less of going out and partying and all that. I really dont like it and Im not going to do that. For my boyfirend hes 18 almost 19 years old is done with that too. Hes never really liked doing that. he watches all of his freinds get into trouble. Im not going to thknk back on this becasue I really dont think its that big of a deal. Ive got things all ready and noting is going to stop me from what I want to do in my life. Im going to graduate Im going to go to college. My collge is only 6 months. Im a mature girl for my age. I dont mean to sound bitchy to any one but Im really happy right now and I dont thnk that there is anything wrong.Thank you for evertything youve said. I know that im not going to hear what I want at times but the I am.

Oh, being a parent can definitely be a beautiful, loving experience! Don't discount that, Linkat! (It's what gets us through the OTHER times!)

Sounds like you're preparing well, Loren. Good for you! Linkat is right about children always changing your plans, though. "Smooth" it isn't. Ya gotta stay flexible.