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Letter of Motivation.

 
 
Quincy
 
Reply Sat 19 May, 2007 11:39 am
My sister is writting a letter of motivation to a panel of proffesors so she can get into a third year course. She needs to say why she wants to get into the course and why they should choose her. I thought she wafted on and on in her letter, but ofcourse she thinks it will do the trick, as she was about to send it in before i did a highly intricate interception tactic. She really wants to get into this course, so could you guys please help. Please can I get feedback on the letter below:

Quote:
It's funny how life happens to you. There's only so much you can plan- the rest is in God's hands. I like the verse in Proverbs that says man plans but God prevails. So what can I say? Film and media studies chose me, I didn't choose film and media studies (Yes, this is a letter of motivation, I know it doesn't sound like one but I am going somewhere with this). I had applied to so many institutions during my matric year, making UCT the last place on my mind. I received a letter from UCT in 2005 saying that I had been offered an entrance scholarship to study anything in the humanities faculty. I suddenly remembered I had applied to UCT in 2004 and decided to do a BA in film and media studies and it's a decision I have regretted (so far).

I'm a person who likes to take opportunities when they come along (that's why I'm applying for FAM2002S). I don't want to live with regrets, I'm young and I'm only going to live once, so I believe in living life to the fullest (that means grabbing opportunities when they come by my way). That's why when my parents gave me the opportunity to take a gap year after matric I jumped at it. Now that's a decision I definitely don't regret. I actually got to go to a place where the grass is actually greener on the other side (I'm talking about Ireland of course!). To add to that, I also had the awesome experience of doing volunteer work in a kibbutz, in none other than the Holy Land, Israel. Another opportunity I didn't miss was to get my voice heard on UCT Radio. I remember nervously auditioning for UCT Radio and getting the surprise of my life to find out I had been accepted to do presenting (please see my letter of reference). So why am I applying for production? Because it's an opportunity I don't want to miss. I hear that production is intensive and skills based. If I do production at least I can say I actually gained some practical training at university and most of all that I was academically stretched.

Well, I'm not going to bore you with a long letter; I think you get my drift. So, I'm going to be short and sweet (figuratively speaking but I am literally a short person and sweet-natured, my letter is mimetic of me!) and to the point. There's no need to impress you with superfluous words, which don't exist in my vocabulary. I'll let my short letter speak for itself. I'm not going to overcompensate for something by writing a long letter (like some people might do). If I'm meant to get chosen, I will get chosen.

Like I was trying to say earlier on, life is full of surprises. Remember I said I did a double take when I learned I had been accepted to present on UCT Radio (I also did a double take when I learned my scholarship had been extended for another year - I thought that was a piece of trivia I should just put in). Anyway, like I was saying life is full of surprises. So surprise me and choose me for Foundation Production Skills (FAM2002S).





Yours truly
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 4,283 • Replies: 6
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Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 May, 2007 10:02 pm
Your sister has a nice, breezy writing style. Her letter will probably be different from most of the others received. That's the good part.

On the downside, she doesn't sound even remotely motivated. "If I do production at least I can say I actually gained some practical training at university and most of all that I was academically stretched." This is the only motivation I can find--the only reason she presents for wanting to take enter this program.

If I were one of the people making the decisions, I'd choose someone who has a strong and clear desire to do this for more reasons than simply saying it was done. (BTW, I'd cut the biblical references, but that's just me.)
0 Replies
 
fresco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 May, 2007 11:27 pm
Sorry,
If I were on the selection panel this would go straight in the bin !
However given that the course is "Media Studies" there is a chance that members of the selection panel are as shallow as some of their applicants.
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 May, 2007 12:33 pm
I'm with fresco--wince and discard.

Quote:
(Yes, this is a letter of motivation, I know it doesn't sound like one but I am going somewhere with this). I had applied to so many institutions during my matric year, making UCT the last place on my mind. I received a letter from UCT in 2005 saying that I had been offered an entrance scholarship to study anything in the humanities faculty. I suddenly remembered I had applied to UCT in 2004 and decided to do a BA in film and media studies and it's a decision I have regretted (so far).



Your school was my last choice. I have regretted this choice. Therefore I deserve one of the limited places in an advanced course.

I'm going to waffle and ramble and do things my way. Don't expect me to be organized. I've had many wonderful opportunities and I deserve some more.

So there!

Quote:
There's no need to impress you with superfluous words, which don't exist in my vocabulary. I'll let my short letter speak for itself. I'm not going to overcompensate for something by writing a long letter (like some people might do). If I'm meant to get chosen, I will get chosen.


I'm not going to work on my prose style. I'm better than people who actually sweat over writing applications. I have a Good Self Image and this trumps hard work.

Read, wince and discard.
0 Replies
 
Quincy
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 May, 2007 05:11 pm
Yes, thank you every one for your responses. Those are the type of things I pointed out to her. We even had a big row over the Biblical references. She said she's Christian and she doesnt care what the panel believes in. I wrote her my own draft and the jury is still out on whose letter will be sent.
But thank you all for taking the time to read that drivvel and for responding!
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 May, 2007 05:37 pm
fresco is spot on! Brash, but spot on.
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2007 07:21 am
What happened?
0 Replies
 
 

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