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Two additions to the Periodic Table of Elements

 
 
PDiddie
 
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2003 01:15 pm
Element 1:

Name: WOMANIUM
Symbol: WM
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties:
Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if used improperly.

Chemical properties:
Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Smolders when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage:
Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution:
Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!

__________________________________

Element 2:

Name: MANIUM
Symbol: MM
Atomic Weight: (180 +/ - 50)

Physical properties:
Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties:
Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage:
None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution:
In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to reek.
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PDiddie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2003 01:19 pm
(And if I may add a third: :wink: )

Element 3

Name: Dubyanium
Symbol: BS
Atomic Weight: 43 (very light)

Physical properties:
Was initially purported to consist of "Honor and Integrity", but claim was found to bogus after proper research. Derived primarily from Silverspoonium.

Chemical properties:
Bonds only with like elements, especially Millionairium, Enronium, PNACium, and Petroleum.

Usage:
Used primarily as a figurehead. Easily manipulated by handler elements, especially Rovium and Cheneyium.

Caution:
Element is known to destroy economies, budget surpluses, and smaller weaker nations containing Petroleum.
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LibertyD
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2003 02:21 pm
LMAO!! Those are great, PDiddie! Laughing
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