My mother is cRaZy ?!!

Buy a shredder!

Maybe there really are some kind of psychological issues? I'm not sure what you can best do about that if so, though. Your dad seems out of the picture, otherwise he'd probably be the best one to urge her to see her doctor. Maybe just sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart?

1) Be glad that her craziness didn't rub off on you.
2) Move back out!

ok- shredder and move out are the top 2 on my to do list

I am also nearing my 50's but I couldn't care less about what people throw away. She's being nosey, pure and simple. Perhaps throw out some used condoms just to watch the fun!

Have you asked her?

Either she is being too nosey... for what ever reason, or she might have a bit of a problem.


Does she do this with anything else?

Shelliknowsbest--

Welcome to A2K.

I'm with Bohne here--ask her why she's going through the family garbage.

Certainly her snooping and prying are exasperating, but when you live rent-free there are nearly always exasperating circumstances.

How is your sister bearing up? What would happen to her if you packed up and left?

Maybe start with not calling her crazy, a pyscho. I mean, you sound mad.
Maybe you have some good reasons to be pissed at your mom but...
you chose to move in there
and, more important,
your 17 old sister is WATCHING YOU.

No joke. Your sis doesn't need extra baggage, eh. She will be looking around for someone to show her what the hell to do !
Imagine being 17 and having your stuff rumaged through. Would mess with you a bit.

How old are you?

You may never get your mom to change - especially if you are feeling pissed and victimized (willing victim here ahem) - 'cause you won't be hearing her even if she does speak up when you ask.

Why are so angry with her? I know words like 'pyscho' and 'crazy' wouldn't be coming out of my mouth about my mother over some trash rummaging. There'd have to be more.

Then once you know why this is so huge for you - and have yourself straight and more level headed - talk to the woman.

That'll give you the opportunity to observe if she has a real problem or is just being a nosy and invasive mom. And you can decide what to do next.

I'm sorry if this comes across insensitive, because I don't intend it that way. The 'Crazy Card' is a big one to play though - over such a thing. Makes me wonder what the hell is actually going on.

To me it sounds like more than just being nosey if she's been doing this for years like your dad says. I wonder if she has OCD or something. Digging through trash is not a normal behavior.

Well, I have tried many times to talk about this with her, and also I don't show aggression or anger about this to her (only on this blog... i get to vent, lol). But it is like talking to one of those dolls where you pull the chain and they say the same pointless sentence no matter what you say or how you say it. And yes, I plan to get out ASAP.. I am in late 20s and had no choice until now in the matter ( $$ reasons).

Yes, there have been other things.. which I am better off not venturing into on a public blog.

Are there any MDs/Ph.D's out there with suggestions??

I was just going to post that it sounded like OCD to me too. I've no background except interested person. One of our favorite posters here deals with it herself; if she sees this she may have some suggestions.

You might want to look OCD up and see if it fits at all. Of course it might not be the answer, and some of the rest of us get obsessive at some times, but a few of us reading suspect your mother is not just nosy.
If it is OCD, she can be helped. OCD stands for obsessive compulsive disorder, check it at medpage.com or Mayoclinic.com.

thank you, i will check that out.

She is still a tad young for Alzheimers.

Confirmed-- she has OCD. She isn't "crazy" after all. Thank you for your help everyone. : )
Maybe now we can get her trash snooping under control.

Not knowing the details (none of our business anyway), it seems good news for sure. Given it's true, try to read more about it. Maybe over the years you can get over being freaked and get acquainted and care about her prehaps more than when you have had to defend yourself all this time. That might see a jump right now. It has been a spiral down for her too. I presume (really knowing nothing) that you doubt under all this behavior that she loves you, has any clue about loving you. But... there is a lot of stuff in the way, and ocd is not a willed thing by her.