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Thu 5 Apr, 2007 06:21 pm
I'd like to know what you all think of this ...
I do have feelings for my girlfriend, and I express that by telling her "I love you" several times. She likes it, and she even asks for it sometimes. Like once in a phone call, she said "Tell me I love you..I wanna hear it..." ...and I say it as she wishes.
The problem is that she doesn't say the same thing. She knows she has feelings but she wants to be totally sure of them before telling me "I love you".
We all know how valuable the words "I love you" are.
Do you guys think I should continue telling her "I love you" normally and on a regular basis? especially when she asks? EVEN if she doesn't say the same thing in return?
Or do you think I should be more reserved from now on, and only tell her those valuable words in very special moments and less frequently than before? And when asks for them, do you think I should simply tell her what she likes to hear??? Although she doesn't tell me the same thing in return?
I don't know. I'm confused. Confused between telling her what I feel frequently, and at the same time not losing the value of the word when I say it too often, especially when she asks
I'd love to hear your feedback about this
Quote:I don't know. I'm confused. Confused between telling her what I feel frequently, and at the same time not losing the value of the word when I say it too often, especially when she asks.
Tell her what you feel, not because she asks you to but because it's what you want to say in the moment. Expressing your feelings should come from you, not on demand.
Vonderjohn--
I feel an imbalance here and you're the man riding the high end of the teeter-totter.
Dogs can be trained to "speak" for a cookie. What sort of cookies are you getting for "speaking" on command?
hmm...Noddy I guess i did understand what u mean
the cookie? well the girl is emotionally attached to me, we're in a healthy relationship, we enjoy each other's company, we're devoted to each other.
But its just this 'i love you' part which im not very sure how much should i say while she doesnt say it and sometimes asks me to say it just to enjoy the pleasure of hearing it.
I feel i should say it less from now on, and when she asks, ill simply tell her 'ull hear it in the right time' or something like that...but im not going to simply 'give her what she's asking for' when she herself isnt ready to say it yet!
i wonder what u guys think
Vonderjohn--
I'm against any sort of double standard, particularly in a romantic relationship.
You have a relationship with a double standard. There are two sets of "rules"--one for you and one for her. To my mind relationships built on double standards are not particularly healthy, but I'm an outsider.
Since this situation has begun to trouble you, take action.
Good luck.
I'm with Noddy on this one!
Love is joy inside the heart. When it's full and and feels like it's bubbling over, it doesn't know how to be quiet. Words easily unspoken? I think not.
Perhaps she is speaking her heart in the only way she truthfully can. I hope you get my drift.
So many love songs out there, but one of my favs that I love to sing is "Because You Loved Me" And when someone loves you like the words of this song portray, saying I love you, would come freely. If you have to hold back your words, my gawd, is it worth it? Love isn't a game.
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
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