Facing 60

Plain - I didn't mention that I'm now able to see my granchildren after a year. I was their favorite G'ma and spent the most time with them. While I was gone my Grandaughter emailed me: "Grandma, I miss you more than I've ever missed anything in my life".

That just about killed me. Now I've come back to a young lady - almost as tall as I am. You have no idea how important you are to your grandchildren. If you can manage better financially closer to them, I sure don't think you would ever be sorry.

First of all, I am a creative person, but, how far does anyone think creativity alone gets anyone.

E.G., when temping dried up in 2001, I was at loose ends about where to work. I had a conversation with a woman while we were both waiting for our automobile inspections which led to a job with a Montessori preschool. I knew when I went to the interview that the headmistress was crazy, but, I took the job anyway. A few days later, another job presented itself. The Montessori job was from 8:00 to 11:00 in the town where I live. The other job was at the Schlesinger Library at HArvard, about 7 miles away and ran from 1 - 5, Mon through Fri and included health insurance.

I thought I'd get the job because the director of the library called me. We walked through the library during the interview and she finally told me that my "mind was too active for this job." It involved manning the front desk for half the day.

I was going to keep both jobs for two years as well as my Sat. job at Williams-Sonoma, then sell my house to buy another in one of two towns that border on Cambridge, but closer. I wanted a duplex. The idea was to live in half the house and use the other half as a bed-and-breakfast. I would no longer work at Williams-Sonoma or the Montessori school but at the Schlesinger to support myself and use the b-and-b to support the house.

Believe me, no one has had more ideas than me.

That was my last interview: September, 2001.

Now, the descendant of that Schlesinger job came up. Only its 20 hours on the desk and 15 hours of research.

I applied. I have heard nothing. I never hear anything.

One of the teachers (BTW, the supt told me officially that my job will end) has been nagging me to take the dates off my resume. I have always heard dateless resumes are the kiss of death. But, I take everyone's advice, no matter how cock-a-mamie, just to shut them up. Works like a charm. Use their resume idea for three months, then can it.

Now, what sort of qualifications does anyone need to sit at a desk for half a day? Absolutely none, except, perhaps, an inert mind.

It seems to me, life happened while you made other plans, plainoldme.

Most of us, regardless of age, have to cope with whatever
is handed to us, even though we might have envisioned
something else. You just deal with it as good as you can
and hope for a light at the end of the tunnel.

The key is a positive outlook and then things will take a turn
for the better, as I am a strong believer in positive thinking
that results in positive feedback.

POM, you don't like Lash for whatever reason, neither did I at
the beginning, but I have changed my mind, as I respect her
for her strength and what she stands for, and how she dealt
with a very difficult life situation. Being a widow with 40 something
is certainly devastating, yet she did not complain, she got busy
with her education/career and now that she is emotionally ready
to engage in a relationship, she took matters in her own hands
and looked/is looking for an appropriate suitor. Hats off to her!

She could have sat down and feel sorry for herself until the cows
came home, yet she realized how counterproductive that would
be to her life, and chose other alternatives.

We sometimes have no choices in life, but we have a choice in
how to deal with what is handed to us, and that's the fundamental
difference between making it or breaking.

What a lovely thing to find, CJ. How very appreciative I am for what you think of me. This made my day.

You still suck at politics, though.

Hah.

I completely disagree about taking the dates off your resume - that's one of the first things I look at when hiring someone - how long were they there? Are they a job-hopper or a steady employee? Were they moving up or down?

I would limit it, though, to the last ten years or so... people don't care what you did before then unless it has a particular relevance to the current position you're applying for. It's 'ancient history', for the most part.

Why not think of doing something completely different from what you've been doing? Think of doing something you'd have fun at, or a place where fun or interesting people work? Or where you'd learn new skills? Think outside the box - it's way more entertaining than doing the same old-same old...

Life is a buffet where you get to sample a variety... of people, experiences, jobs, towns, holidays, whatever. And please, I don't mean to sound patronizing (and I hope I don't come across that way) - I know you know all this - this is just my urging you to do it.

Time for you to have some fun, POM!

Get a job as a receptionist in a beauty salon or a veterinarian's office or cooking in a restaurant and give it 6 months - who the hell cares (unless you do, of course) what you're doing for money as long as you're enjoying your life???

I actually do not want to retire, but, I want to stop working two jobs, six days a week.

i just want to tell you that i've been looking at the BIG 60 FROM THE OTHER SIDE for some years now - it isn't bad at all !
the oddest experience was when i was offered a seat in a street-car in vienna by a young person ; i was so shocked , i didn't know what to do .
mrs h was able to get me to accept the seat gracefully and thank the young men . so thereafter i kept standing at the door pretending i was getting off at the next station .
hbg

Let's start with some numbers: $7,098; $8,528; $11,873; $8,765; $9,148; $7,143; $13, 902; $14,286; $21,238.

Those are not Paris Hilton's weekly bills from Barney's but my gross annual earnings from 1998 to 2006. I worked two jobs (at least) each year with the exception of 2000 when I worked three and 2006 when I worked four. BTW, $1,000 of my 2006 income came from a lottery ticket.

Now, I haven't had an interview for a non-teaching job since September, 2001, when I was being walked around the Schlesinger Library by then director Diane Hamer. The job was part-time, 1 - 5, Monday - Friday. However, since it was a Harvard job, that means it included health insurance.

It would have worked well, as I was then working at a Montessori School from 8:00 to 11:00 daily, earning $12/hour. I took the job although during the interview, I could tell the headmistress was crazy. I left for two reasons: 1.) she was crazier than I thought she was at first glance; 2.) I was afraid that my ex-husband would take me to court to being underemployed (yes, he could have done that).

I had hoped to get the post at HArvard and to keep the Montessori job for two years, while I sold the house and bought a duplex in either Arlington or Somerville, lived in one half and operated the other half as a B&B. I felt the B&B would support the house for a time and the Harvard job would support me. The idea was to eventually sell the duplex to buy another house, mortgage free and, hopefully, find a better paying job within Harvard.

So, I am truly interested in learning how people feel about aging because I hate, detest, despise the way the world had turned out. What happens?

I get a reply from LAsh, who knows full well that I don't like her in which she talks down to me.

The worst thing she said was why don't I just think of doing something else. One of the classic indicators of intelligence is the ability to adapt.

So, along comes someone I consider ----------- ----------- (supply your own adjective and noun pair) who insults my intelligence.

Beth, you said you wished that I felt happier with myself. It's a very unhappy situation when you know what you have to offer; when you know that you're smarter than people who have positions of power over you and you can not make a living wage.

Work? I've been working far too hard, far too long for far too little money.

Now, I could be like a lot of women I know around here who have given up. Who accept that the only job they will have is the overnight shift at Target or that they must work 20 hours/a week at the supermarket market and fold socks 12 hours a week at The Gap.

You want to know what bitter is? It's those women. They are so frozen that they can not move away from those jobs long enough to type a fresh new resume.

I have to take my former husband to court. He should be paying youngest son's tuition at Universal Technical Institute, a school for auto mechanics. It's in the divorce decree. He refused. Why? Because youngest child did not ask Dad "like a man."

I can't afford an attorney because they've wanted $15,000 as a retainer. I earn too much money for legal services. Most legal services do not do family law, with the exception of custody for the truly indigent.

The fees for what I want to do are going to run between $300 - $500.

This man signed my name to loan agreements. He doesn't speak to the kids. He hasn't bought any of them a present in years. He's about to move to CHina (which I think is a good thing).

As much as I resent his stinginess with youngest son (jeez, the kid needs clothes), I probably resent more that he is the cause of some of the family problems and of my own real estate problems. I also resent that when I needed a little breather -- now and in years past -- he wasn't there to take the kids. Youngest child is bipolar and attracts trouble like a magnet. It would have been nice if ex-husband (notice, I did not type Dad) had taken him for a day now and then. Hey, an occassional dinner with ex-husband would have been nice.

For the first five or six years after the divorce, the kids were all angry with exhusband. Each kid had a therapist. Each therapist told me it upset him/her to hear my sons and daughter call exhusband "the @$$h0le." I told each of those people that their father was angry with them because they called him by his Christian name, Alan, to his face. We've been separated since 1992 and the kids still can not refer to him as Dad and always call him Alan. It's an improvement from @$$h0le!

My daughter has been able to speak with her father somewhat. One son has no communication with him and feels liberated because he knows that he is out of harm's way as long as he has no contact with exhusband. The other son has tried to involve exhusband in his life, but why should exhusband go to UTI when he never went to Smith or Eckerd? He didn't even attend youngest child's high school graduation and youngest child was his favority.

Bitter? My FICO number is 661. When I look at my bad debts, they are ones my former husband created when he broke verbal contracts with me and left me with bills, one of which he is mandated to pay by the divorce decree. I just have to take him to court to collect.

But, at least I haven't succumbed to the overnight at Target. I look at my friend and then apply for bank teller posts.

My hair is almost white and has been so for several years. When I was 52, the ticket taker offered me the senior citizen price at the theatre. I laughed because I was 10 years short of the date but I loved the savings.

plainoldme wrote :



any discount coming along ... we take it - double , if possible
last thursday of every month , canada's "shoppers' drug market" offers a 20 % discount for seniors - they also carry good selection of groceries - and we'll be stopping there on our way home from morining swim
we are glad to give them our business !
hbg

Mame -- I disagree with taking dates off a resume as well and for the same reason. Without dates, how does someone know whether you're what my former husband called a "job gypsy."

However, I take everyone's advise and another teacher (business and accounting) has been pummeling me to take the dates off mine. for a time, i left the date off my first degree -- 1969 -- and my second -- 1975 -- but left the date on my third -- 1998.

I have a resume for administrative assistant which talks about all the administrative work I have done as a permanent substitute teacher. I literally ran the administration of the MCAS and the state gave Arlington High 100% on how the testing went. The big problem with discussing it is that no one has a clue just how much paper pushing goes on in a high school.

There's job coming up (the person who has it now is leaving to go to grad school) with a foundation. It'll be cut back to a 3/5th job and I hope that means 3 days a week and not six hours a day for five days.

People tell me to call about jobs, but, almost every posting says, in boldface, no phone calls, please. Frankly, I would consider anyone who called a pest and probably wouldn't hire them. What do you think of calling, mame?

No, calling is not acceptable, email would be much better.

Frankly, anyone who hires a 60 year old will have to take in consideration that health coverage for this person is very high, and she/he is having probably more health related absences than a younger person, not to forget that in 5 years time, a 60 year old would want to retire.

Perhaps your chances could be better if you work on a freelance
basis, carrying your own health insurance.

I disagree with calling, too, if they specifically say NO PHONE CALLS or if they don't leave a number. I've advertised for positions and received hundreds of faxes and emails. Phone calls would have sent me over the top.

As far as your age goes and CalJane's comments, it's not one I even thought of. Up here it's basically illegal to discriminate based on age and it's absolutely taboo to ask anyone any personal questions related to age, marital status, dependents, etc.

It sounds to me like you've done most of what you can, other than my brilliant ideas of branching completely into different directions Change can be wonderful, exhilarating and liberating.

I can't understand how the US pays so poorly. The current receptionist in the last office I was in makes $32,000/annum (Jan 2007 rate), and I consider that LOW. Well, for Vancouver that's barely adequate... for Saskatchewan, it's probably fantastic.

Safeway pays it's beginning cashiers $8.75/hr, barely higher than the $8.00 minimum wage... but most places here are crying out for help - there are Help Wanted signs everywhere... they'll be paying $10+/hr.

Keep us posted.

That's probably true, but really unfair. Young people often call in sick when they've hot a hangover or want to go sun-bathing, parents often have babysitting problems... where I've seen people 60+ working, it doesn't present a problem. They seem to work harder and longer and most have the old-fashioned work ethic that often seems to be lacking today.

Some companies here have eliminated mandatory retirement altogether, and most universities contract to emeriti for teaching positions... also, many trades are extremely short of young personnel so the retired tradespeople are working full-time.

Sounds like POM should move to Vancouver

Age discrimination is illegal here too, Mame, but one can readily tell
from the resume how old a person is, and go from there. To be honest,
I have not seen a better work ethic and reliability from older employees
vs. younger ones. They are just about the same, except a young person
doesn't cost us nearly enough as an older one.

It certainly is unfair, I agree wiht you, Mame, but the business world is a tough one.

Plain
Plain, your experience up to now will train you well for living on social securtity, which sadly I know won't cheer you up. I worked until I was 72 before retiring, which I'm glad I did, and will turn 78 in July. You still have time to prepare for retirement. Think about making a career change. People told me I was too old to make such changes, but I did it twice. When I was 46 and again when I was 60. You just have to find the right niche. Think outside the box.

Good luck,
BBB