Facing 60

Thanks Littlek,

They are doing everything for me. It's hard to see one's grown child face this part of life; losing a parent. I am very proud of how he has become a man enough to take control.

I would so rather be on my own as I was but that is impossible.

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Missconduct--

Welcome to A2K.

I hope we can supply some diversion for your hard times.

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Re: Facing 60

plainoldme wrote:

I have been very depressed today . . . and I know the reasons why and my imminent birthday is not one of them . . . however, in two months from today, I will turn 60.

Let's talk about aging and where life has taken us and how we feel about it.

I don't believe in feeling sorry for yourself...it's a dangerous, often fatal experiment.

Life is what it is. Some of it is your doing and your making and some of it will come along and hit you no matter what you do to try to prevent it.
Parts of my life could be said to suck and I would be quick to agree with that and sink into a deep depression if I did not immediately look at the positives. All I need to do is check the obituary page and see how many persons younger than myself die on a daily basis. This makes me feel better about whatever is going on in my life; because, I still have hope and possibility for things to improve (or at least change...I detest stagnation).

Aging has brought along a variety of fun things...I inherited high blood pressure (thank you ever so much dead mother) which when combined with the medication...which works well on the BP...causes my hands and toes to freeze when it is 70-degrees. My kidneys went berserk, and there are 2 other health issues which have decided to drop in on me (which I refuse to discuss further at this time).

What it boils down to is this: If you have your wits about you and some people in your life you are doing damned good. Everything else is extra. Look around at the person with 4 homes and 5 cars...they aren't satisfied either. Learn to love what you do have in the way of necessities and appreciate the other parts. So the work is not generating the income you want...you can look elsewhere for better wages (although conditions may be worse) and you can also look at those who no longer have the ability to work...many of whom are younger than you. You can still get out there and work...grab that as your positive.

Now slap a smile on your face...it may sound nuts but if you smile, you will feel better and then someone else will smile which will add to your feeling better. Go on now, give it a try...it never hurts to try. Get yourself to a point of at the very least some tepid optimism. Remember, you are going to be 60 and then most likely 65 and hopefully 70 and then 75 and 80 and maybe more...do you really want to mope around for the next 20+ years?

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sturgis wrote :

Quote:

Remember, you are going to be 60 and then most likely 65 and hopefully 70 and then 75 and 80 and maybe more...do you really want to mope around for the next 20+ years?

i promise not to mope :wink: Exclamation

"if life gives you lemons ... make lemonade !" (of course i love to spout off platitudes Laughing

) .
hbg

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dealing with life
Sturgis come kick my ass, would you? Even my ownself gets sick of the I I me me my. I ain't livin in a cardboard box yet

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misconduct wrote:

My doctor told me I could last perhaps one or two years. I'm only 54.

Doctors who make pronouncements about a patient's longevity really tick me off. No one really knows. If I had taken the word of my doctor as "gospel", I would be dead for 13 years, and we would not be having this "conversation".

There is the reality of your illness. Because of that, you need to have a will, a living will, a Power of Attorney, and a Health Care Surrogate. Actually, everyone should have those documents in place. It is simply good housekeeping.

When you have a home, you buy fire insurance, but you don't really expect your house to burn down, do you? The documents that I mentioned above are really just another type of insurance.

As far as denial is concerned, I think that a bit of that is a healthy thing. A person isn't dying. He is either dead or alive. That is not to say that a person does not need to care for his health. Of course he does. But, IMO, it is not up to a doctor or anyone else to pronounce a death sentence. One never knows when a new treatment will emerge, that will change the situation completely.

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Phoenix - thank you for your words of wisdom.

I'm starting to get angry. That doctor had no way of knowing that I am the last person you should tell anything like that to. Especially now with the extra anxiety of the condition. What he told me is like a worm in my brain.

I'm going out kicking and screaming. The reason I got in this shape is I am afraid of doctors and wouldn't go when I should. I never did what they said to do anyway. I guess I'm an odd hypochondriac - one who knows she can make herself sick just by THINKING! LOL

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missconduct- Great! Don't get depressed, get pissed!!!! Use that energy to learn as much as you can about your condition, to discover new treatments that your doctor may be unware of, and just to live. You have the internet. Learn as much as you can. One of the worst things about a life threatening illness is feeling that you are out of control. Grab that control back, and don't let it go.

I know what a bummer it is to perceive an axe hanging over your head. But that does not have to be. It is important for a person to fight for his/her life. If I saw your doctor, I would love to punch him in the face.

I am a big believer in the mind/body connection, and I really believe that a positive, proactive attitude can enable your body's immune system to maximize its effectiveness.

You CAN do it!

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It is foolish to think you can articulate an age .... you live it, the same way you get there .... day by fricken day or .................. rejoice with each new discovery ....... one of which will be that life continues till the end with extreme indifference.
six oh in June

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Geli--

I would have NEVER guessed it. You have a young spirit.

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i'm sure some of you remember "guy lombardo and his royal canadians"
being on the old black and white TV on new year's eve .
perhaps you also remember this song - it's been slightly updated !
hbg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005S6MH.01._SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Quote:

Enjoy Yourself ! It's later than you think.

----------------------------------------------------------

You work and work for years and years, you're always on the go
You never take a minute off, too busy makin' dough
Someday, you say, you'll go fulltime (*have your fun) when you're a millionaire
Imagine all the fun you'll have in your old rockin' chair

Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think!
Enjoy yourself. While you're still in the pink!
The years go by, As quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think.

You're gonna take that RV (*ocean) trip, no matter, come what may
You've got your reservations made, but you just can't get away
Next year, for sure, you'll go fulltime (*see the world), you'll really get around
But how far can you travel when you're six-feet under ground?

Your heart of hearts, your dream of dreams, your ravishing brunet
She's left you and she's now become somebody else's pet.
Lay down that gun don't try my friend to reach the great beyond
You'll have more fun by camping with (*reaching for) a redhead or a blond.

Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think!
Enjoy yourself. While you're still in the pink!
The years go by, As quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think.

You never go to campgrounds (*nightclubs) and you just don't care to hike (*dance).
You don't have time for silly things like campfires (*moonlight) and a bike (*romance).
You only think of dollar bills tied neatly in a stack
But when you kiss a dollar bill it doesn't kiss you back.

Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think!
Enjoy yourself. While you're still in the pink!
The years go by, As quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think.

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When you're Facing Sixty, "Sixty" is facing you right back and "Sixty" doesn't particularly care.

Life is full of choices. "Take what you want," says God. "Then pay."

I'm collecting Social Security. Sure, I'd like more money and more freedom and more travel and.....

I've made my choices...and within my limits, I'm Magnificent.

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You certainly are!!

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Hold your dominion, Noddy, hold your dominion.

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Merry Andrew--

You're an inspiration to do just that.

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ehBeth wrote:

Lash wrote:
plainoldme wrote:

And, I do have some grandbabies, although they live an 8-hour drive from me.

Move closer...?

Not sure why you thought this was an inappropriate response, plainoldme.

ehbeth -- that is not what I thought was inappropriate, but this was:

Don't place your happiness on what other people have to be responsible for--like grandbabies. You have seemed quite bitter lately. Try to get to the bottom of that--and search out ways to create happiness in your life.

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Well, you know, plainoldme, Lash is right about how you've presented. Bitter.

It would be great if you could find a way to be happier within yourself.

I've met you. A coupla times. You're a nice woman, lots to offer. I wish you were happier/seemed to be happier with life the way it is.

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missconduct -- That is quite a sad story. I often wonder about medicine in this country because medicine is a commodity and people are urged by the mass media to "ask your doctor about . . ." while people who need medicine to live struggle to pay for it.

One of the things that I have trouble dealing with is the high cost of living coupled with incidents like yours -- you were deemed too sick to work not by you or your doctor, but by your employer -- or like mine -- I send out resumes all the time, at least one a week and they are utterly ignored.

When I graduated from college in 1969, a single person could get by on an income of $8,000 a year. Now, the poverty level for an individual in MA is around $19,000/annum. When "women of a certain age" are denied all jobs but those on the bottom (BTW, substitute teachers average $60/day and permanent subs average about $12,000/annum) of the payscale and, then, never at full time. The question we have to ask, do you think we can live on less than others do?

But, I wanted to discuss all the changes that are difficult to cope with.

Clothes. Cost of living.

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There's more than one way to skin a cat (there's a platitude for hamburger) and if you think outside the box, you'll find lots of wonderful solutions. I won't bore you with personal experiences (you're welcome!) but suffice it to say, I live by the belief that there is most definitely a solution to every problem. Sometimes we just have to get creative. Sometimes we just get so mired into our situation that we forget there are other doors we can open. Again, I'm keeping mum on personal experiences here (you're welcome again).

I like the suggestion about moving closer to your kids, especially since you're single (no one to hold you back)...

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A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

Take time for the memory of Tomorrow's yesterday.

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