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Sun 18 Mar, 2007 02:36 pm
So lets say I'm pretty good friends with someone. When I met her, she had a boyfriend, but now thats finished. We've already established a pretty good friendship, but Im just wonder if its still possible for something more. She has expressed to my friends previously (when she had a boyfriend) that Im definitly a great guy that any girl would be lucky to have. She never said this to me directly, but did mention how (when we were talking about relationships and my bad luck) I should never settle for someone, since theres no reason for me to have to settle.
How do you get past a friend stage, or at least imply it? I definitly dont want to ruin the friendship, but I definitly do want something more (I mean, Id still be happy if we were only friends). Its easy for someone Im just meeting for the first time, since a little flirting goes a long way. But I dont know what to do in this case.
As for a background on her. Shes smoking hot, smart, and can pretty much get any guy she want. Every day she has at least a guy coming up to her and flirting.
EDIT: I guess I should just add a few things. Shes very open to me, when I initiate conversations. It seems sometimes that shes shy, but only towards me. She rarely initiates new topics of conversation, but if I get her going she'll ramble on no problem.
I think a solid relationship could grow from a friendship. Don't you think a great relationship is built on trust? Do the two of you ever hang out or is it usually with a group?
martybarker wrote:I think a solid relationship could grow from a friendship. Don't you think a great relationship is built on trust? Do the two of you ever hang out or is it usually with a group?
I agree with your first statement.
Only time we really hang out is with other friends too. Shes always busy running around with a tight schedule, so Ive never bothered asking her to coffee or anything.
We do have many classes and labs together though, just the two of us
Do you share any similar interests such as sports or music. Maybe you can offer her a ticket to a concert. That seems pretty non-threatening, could be just as friends.
You could always try the honest up front tactic. This tactic really depends on the girl though - it could scare one type away or another type would appreciate it - whether she had a romantic interest in you or simply a friendship. Myself, even though it could be uncomfortable, I would appreciate the upfront tactic.
I had a situation once where a friend of mine wanted to be more than a friend. We always did things in groups and one night, only he and I could go out. We had a great time together. On the way home he told me he wanted to be more than friends. I did really like the guy, but was not attracted to him and although it was difficult to hurt a friend, I told him as straight forward, but kind as I could. Unfortunately he wanted only a relationship and we parted not to be friends. The silly thing is - years later looking back - if he felt the friendship was important and remained friends with me, there would have been a very good chance for me to change my mind.
Often times friendships develop and as you see this person for who they really are - they become more attractive to you (not always, but often). I think if she is an honest and upfront person she will appreciate your honesty whether she feels more than just friendship or not.
Quote:The silly thing is - years later looking back - if he felt the friendship was important and remained friends with me, there would have been a very good chance for me to change my mind.
Ahh, no you wouldnt. Period.
flakker wrote:Quote:The silly thing is - years later looking back - if he felt the friendship was important and remained friends with me, there would have been a very good chance for me to change my mind.
Ahh, no you wouldnt. Period.
Ahh well it is wonderful that you know me so well.
I actually did end up dating some one I had been friends with for quite a while - almost a similar situation.
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