Sex: how long should it take #2

Not too early. And not too late. It should be juuuuust right.

As your question implies, it's important to plan life
based on the disadvantages of each option.
If you do one thing, you're screwed. If you do something else, you're f*ed.

This way, your whole attitude will be morbid and despairing,
no matter how wrongly you keep doing everything.

In truth, there is no "best" just as there is no "worst".
Everything is simply horribly wrong,
and you're doomed to get it wrong every time.

Good luck!

Situations vary.

Sure, there is no best, and situations vary...but having agreed that it has a measurable effect it cannot be denied that there is a mean effect with respect to time for all people, and a global minima of that function.

All I can bring it down to from the options you presented is: a year is too damn long!

A year of being with someone and no sex? Special circumstances maybe.

I'd want to know whether there was sexual compatibility by that point though.

Damn. A year?!

Ok- now that I dont have a glass of wine in my system...



I dont think there is a set outline for sex.
I have been in relationships of all extremes.

Some I dont, to this day, remember their names.. but we were enjoying ourselves rather quickly after sharing introductions.

And, I also dated someone for almost a year with absolutely no sex.
In fact, that was one of my favorite relationships.
It was back in the early 90s when trucks with huge wheels were popular.. and he had one. So I would follow him around Rio Rancho ( a little bitty town) when I saw him and he finally pulled over one day, and we sat on the side of Golf Course road and talked for almost 3 hours.

Cute little bugger he was. (sigh) Great kisser too.. but no sex.


I believe it is about the chemistry of the relationship that should dictate when sex happens and not some oddball social rule.






In fact...............My husband was meant to be a one night stand...

Like has been said, it all depends.

The time I think a 16 year old would take would obviousy differ from a 50 year old.



I was thinking just the other day how my view on sex has changed over the years...speaking as a woman of course. At 19 and into 20's, the IDEA of having sex just for fun was inviting, but when it would happen, this emotional attachment would occur (well, usually the attachment would already be there, but the sex would strengthen it. Biologically this makes sense for the female, since she's in her peak childbearing mode and needs a male to stick around.

Now, at 48, I thought about what it would be like if I was suddenly single again. I realized that unless the male was a one in a billion, I wouldn't want someone there all the time. I could make the rational decision to have sex with someone because I found them attractive, and enjoyed their company, but with no feeling of emotional obligation.

Biologically, I'm past childbearing, and also have had plenty of time to gather my own assets, and am not dependant on a male.

In other words, "that was nice, now go home, don't worry about calling, I'm sure we'll run into each other again some time"

If you want it and he/she wants it on the first date, do it.

The "right time" is when both of you are ready.

And my answer is based on 2 adults, not two children. (or *gross* one child and one adult)

Sure, but what possible use would you get out of such an answer?

As an abstract philosophical exercise, fine.

As an answer that could be applied to real life -- useless.

Yup

Ah. Well carry on, then.

(Did you make the image in your avatar?)

Yup, it's me! Well remember that girl I was painting a couple weeks ago? She is a photographer and she took some pics of me, then I tweaked it in photoshop and this is what I got.
http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/9974/img4168darksmon9.jpg

I was wondering if it was you. Impressive pic!

I have no idea about the question-- seems too individual for one answer (except like flushd, not A YEAR! )-- but I just had to pop in to say....


Jeebus, stuh, you are a cutie! My goodness!

Dang, the full size shot is even better!


hubba hubba.

That's you? Wow....not bad....not bad at all.....

Aww thanks gals. There's nothing like having a group of women drool over your photograph

I can say for me, that if I have sex with a guy on the first date, it's because I don't expect a long term relationship.
Other than that I cannot say anything for sure....

that was the single best post I have ever seen while having my coffee....

I've been waiting for you to come along.....