I never once have thought....
"oh wow, I wish we were waking up together and staring into each others sleepy eyes and pushing back each others tossled hair."
Sure sometimes you wake up and spoon for awhile, but it just sort of happens. I can't put a number on it. But life isn't some harliquen romance novel, which quite frankly, are boring in the extreme.
Wow, talking about jeez louise.. I sure must have hit a nerve there, for all y'all are running with this.
OK, so for you it works differently. Fine. Whats the point of going on and on mocking someone else's sense of romance? Are you really that defensive that if two posters comment on how differently it works for them, you have to post again and again how their way sounds boring and cliche and cheap to you, and how great your sense of romance is?
I mean, I loved your description of the farmer couple, and yes, thats true and pure romance to, in its way. I respect that and especially witnessing the somewhat princessish ways and ideas of gender roles here in Hungary, I'll gladly recount it one of these days. It is, definitely, also
and example of the strong heart within a relationship that keeps it running.
But whats the deal with putting down the other person's version? When I described my instinctive response to the separate bedrooms as feeling weird, I at length hemmed and hawed and explained why it might be that I feel this way or what the various reasons behind the reaction were (fear or an erratic tendency to generalise or just an unused-to-it-ness). I was honest both about my own reaction, and the relativation of it.
But y'all are reacting like we bit you in the ass and now you have to post at length and repetitively how great your idea of romance is and how silly the one Bella or I posted. Sorry but WTF?
like waking up next to my loved one, and she might still be asleep, or is just waking up too, and there's this moment where you just look at each other, or look at your lover sleeping. And, however "boring" or "harliquen romance" or unrealistic that may sound to you or Dagmaraka, that moment my heart runneth over. Its that brief moment before the day starts and you each have your own things to do and you have to switch into problem-solving, rational acting mode, and you are just purely yourself, and you have that moment to just feel.
I love it when I wake up and she smiles at me when saying "good morning..", like just me sleeping and waking up and being and doing nothing much especially or in particular is already just pure love-able. I have the same with my lover. Its moment like those that give comfort and wrap you in an invisible coating of warmth the rest of the day.
The same when she falls asleep. A. used to fall asleep on my lap, and I'd stroke her hair, night after night, and just looking down at her lying there, eyes closed and then falling asleep, gave so much -- enough to weather the daytime storms, the dreariness of work and life stress, the tremendous problems we faced, not least with each other -- it was the moment when you could experience, simply, without explanation, the love that was there, and that made it all allright.
When she fell asleep in bed, and had a bad dream, and I was not there yet, I could hear her moan or move, and I'd go to her, and lie next to her, and stroke her hair - and it was like a miracle - all that was needed was my touch, and she never woke up, but within moments she'd grow calm, quiet, and sleep peacefully again.
Those moments are to me - they're like the heart hidden in a flowerbud when the rest of life is the wild garden around.
So y'all may call it fake or unrealistic or doesnt-really-apply-in-actual-life or boring or harlequin or whatnot. For me, its a core truth that keeps a relationship running. So **** you.