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Dual Master Bedrooms?

 
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 02:53 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
To have sex in one room and then leave to sleep in another is a little weird to me.


To say the least...
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 02:55 pm
Why?
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 03:00 pm
Well, why do you even live together?

Why not just have separate houses?

Maybe it's just me and my household routine but night time is snuggle-time. A time for me and hubby to wind down, lay together, maybe watch some tv....getting up and leaving would really spoil the moment. I couldn't imgaine not sleeping together. Not falling asleep next to him or waking up and him being the first person I see every morning.

Even worse would be the scenario of "That was really great sex. See you tomorrow!"
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Francis
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 03:04 pm
Because I wouldn't understand, let alone succeed sleeping, knowing that that lovely thing being alone in the next room.

Nothing would prevent me from sleeping with her in my arms.

Maybe an ocean between us...
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 03:12 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
Well, why do you even live together?

Why not just have separate houses?

Maybe it's just me but night time is snuggle-time. A time for me and hubby to wind down, lay together, maybe watch some tv....getting up and leaving would really spoil the moment.

Even worse would be the scenario of "That was really great sex. See you tomorrow!"


I didn't say anything about snuggle time, wind down time, laying together or watching TV....I guess I don't consider the moment spoiled if you have to move 10 feet away if you feel like it.

If we're in the same bed, we are at separate ends anyway. You do all that pre-sleep stuff mentioned above, then get your own space to sleep.

Anyway, if someone wanted to live in separate apartments or houses, that's fine w/ me if it's fine with them.

Funny, when I picture in my mind 2 people who have separate rooms, the first thing I think of is the old French royalty, it seemed they always kept their own areas. Must have been much easier to have your lovers and mistresses come and go.

Why is it any more weird for consenting people to agree to 2 beds, or 2 rooms, than for 2 consenting people to agree that it's ok if their partner have sex with someone else?

I've heard people, including you Bella & Francis, acting as if it would be totally natural for married people to have outside affairs, like if both parties agree, or you live in a so much more sophisticated Rolling Eyes culture..
Why can't 2 faithful people enjoy a good nights rest?
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 03:12 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
Well, why do you even live together?

Why not just have separate houses?

Maybe it's just me and my household routine but night time is snuggle-time. A time for me and hubby to wind down, lay together, maybe watch some tv....getting up and leaving would really spoil the moment. I couldn't imgaine not sleeping together. Not falling asleep next to him or waking up and him being the first person I see every morning.

Even worse would be the scenario of "That was really great sex. See you tomorrow!"


Why not have separate houses? Why it would be too expensive and perhaps you enjoy each others company and do enjoy to snuggle like on the couch, before and after sex, but then because one or the other moves around too much, sleeps much better separately.

Haven't you seen Senfield with the jittery leg.
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 03:21 pm
HA!

that's what I've been trying to remember Linkat...I think it's called "jimmy legs", no?

As for the poor lovely thing being all alone in the next room, oh honestly. How do you know the poor thing isn't getting the best sleep she's had all month?

What if you partner said to you, "I'm really restless tonight, and I'm keeping you awake, and I don't want you holding me. I need to go to the other bed."?

Would you make that person stay and jitter and wish they could thrash around a little bit?
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Francis
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 03:26 pm
Chai wrote:
I've heard people, including you Bella & Francis, acting as if it would be totally natural for married people to have outside affairs


Now, it's really, really low and only deserves contempt. I never said or envisioned such thing.

But one is free to build his/her own hypothetic and pathetic constructions...

When sound arguments cannot be easily contradicted, personal atacks will follow..
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 03:33 pm
Chai wrote:


Why is it any more weird for consenting people to agree to 2 beds, or 2 rooms, than for 2 consenting people to agree that it's ok if their partner have sex with someone else?

I've heard people, including you Bella & Francis, acting as if it would be totally natural for married people to have outside affairs, like if both parties agree, or you live in a so much more sophisticated Rolling Eyes culture..
Why can't 2 faithful people enjoy a good nights rest?


I don't think I've ever said that it was ok for married/committed people to have outside affairs. And if I did, I must have been smoking.

And I understand what you are saying which is why I keep on saying that it's weird FOR ME. I wouldn't do it. And can't understand why anyone else would want to for more than a night or two. I can't stand not sleeping with my husband and don't know why anyone else would want to sleep away from theirs. Aside from someone being so loud of a snorer that you have no other options, that is. Or being sick and not wanting to keep the other person up all night. In normal every day circumstances, I couldn't stand not sleeping with him.
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 04:33 pm
Bella
I have read you in threads saying that if 2 people are both in agreement to their marriage arrangements, one partner could have sex with someone, and it might be all right....


Francis
You never say anything outright, but you have alluded on more than one occassion that affairs are acceptable, even expected.

I'm not going to argue, because you both know that's true.


You know folks, it's not just over jimmy legs or snoring. People get old, people get sick. People have children. People get into pain. They take medication that interrupts their sleep. They keep different hours than their spouse, or those different hours develop over the years. The list could go on and on...

It's just so much fantasy to think that people should sleep every night entwined in each others arms, ignoring cramped muscles, snoring, gas, someone breathing on you with dragon breath, etc. etc.

All I'm saying is this conversation seems to have taken a turn like you can't really love someone unless you sleep with them. That's just silly. What about someone who's single and enjoys sleeping alone falls madly in love with someone? Are they supposed to automatically become this person they've never been?

The point I was making above about some people feeling relieved realizing they weren't alone in preferring sometimes, or always sleeping by themselves was important. I'm sure someone out there said, "great, I'm not abnormal"

BTW, I did know a couple who owned separate houses, they were quite devoted to each other.
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squinney
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 04:50 pm
Francis wrote:
Because I wouldn't understand, let alone succeed sleeping, knowing that that lovely thing being alone in the next room.

Nothing would prevent me from sleeping with her in my arms.

Maybe an ocean between us...


Oooh. That erotic ear is also romantic. Too bad about the ocean between us. Very Happy

There are plenty of nights I would have preferred a seperate room from Bear - especially when he was working four and five nights a week and rolling in at three in the morning when I had to be up to get the kids off to school. Often, he wanted to tell me about what had happened or who showed up or how someone got in a fight...

However, the whole seperate bedroom thing would never go over at our house. Bear couldn't bear to be without me.
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Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 05:42 pm
getting a little sure of yourself aren't you?
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CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 10:03 pm
Hehe, you two are cute.
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dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 10:47 pm
well, i gotta chime in.
My parents have had separate bedrooms since ever i can remember. that's some 30 years now. They love and respect each other. I've had the best childhood any child could dream of, with parents who devoted all their spare time to spend with their kids. Nobody dare tell me that their love is weird or unreal or anything of the sort. Marriage is not based on husband and wife sleeping in the same room. Should not be.
If and when I get married, I will want my own room. I am sensory defensive (read neurotic) and anything wakes me up. I value my alone time highly and nobody can encroach on my private time with my book in my bed. MY bed. MY room. I need that to survive. If that's weird to anyone, it is not to me. Who's to define 'weird' anyway? Does that mean I should not get married? Excuse me, but that's for me to judge. Why live with anyone under one roof if we don't share a bedroom? Again, excuse me but is there NOTHING else husband and wife do together? I am pretty sure I will be most happy with this arrangement and a man that wouldn't be will not become my husband. Simple.
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CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Mar, 2007 11:30 pm
Did the "monster" and you have separate bedrooms, dag?
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shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Mar, 2007 06:00 am
I have been thinking about this, and I have got to admit, Im having many second thoughts about this too.

I DO love having that warm body in the bed.
I DO love having someone there to talk to and fall asleep on, next to, near, or with

BUT-

when I was pregnant, we lived in a 2 bedroom apt.

My pregnancy was very uncomfortable. Painfull actualy.

I ended up sleeping in the second bedroom because the old futon mattres we had just killed my back.

and I loved it.

I got to read, I got to sleep with out being woke up. I got to stretch out with out having to push him out of the way.
I got to lie in bed quietly with out being disturbed.
My cat could sleep all over me with out being rolled over on, pushed off, or moved either.

I liked it. Alot.

I get the appeal. I really do. And I dont think not sleeping in the same bed makes you or your marriage any less strong or stable.
It is quite comfortable. Smile
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Mar, 2007 06:20 am
Earth to Bear.

Save the stories until BOTH of you are fully awake.

No one wants to hear it at 3am.



This has been a public service announcement on behalf of Squinney.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Mar, 2007 06:49 am
I am done defending myself. I've repeated numerous times that for ME and MY HUSBAND and MY HOUSEHOLD this is not normal. This is not what WE want, or would want or would be comfortable with. I have already admitted I can't understand why anyone would be ok with it but ever accused anyone of not loving a spouse.
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Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Mar, 2007 06:56 am
Chai wrote:
Earth to Bear.

Save the stories until BOTH of you are fully awake.

No one wants to hear it at 3am.



This has been a public service announcement on behalf of Squinney.


Earth to Chai

If you want input into what goes on in my bed..... then do me in it once in awhile. Otherwise mind your business.

This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the proper placement of one's nose Razz
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Mar, 2007 07:15 am
awww...I know you don't mean it bear....

Cool
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