when i buy my own house, i will have MY room in it. There might be a master bedroom if I live there with a man, but MY room with MY bed will certainly be there as well. MY own space.
I think you hit the nail on the head there dag. It's about having MY space and YOUR space, and respecting each others space.
As for the room I sleep in with my husband, that is ALL I do in that room (well, besides that over thing :wink: ) It's a 500 square foot room, with the bed on the end near the door, and the only time I walk more than a foot or 2 past the bed is when I take it in my mind to vacuum in there. The rest of the room is his sanctuary, and I don't go into there unless I have a reason to get in the bed.
Ditto for "my" room, it's the same size, bed near the door, and the only time he goes much past the bed is when he lifts some weights, which is when I'm not home.
There's no "don't come in here" either verbal or implied, it's just that there's really nothing of interest for the other person in those rooms.
oh nimh...I meant to say this before....you said something above about sleeping together and waking up together and looking into each others sleepy eyes and all that stuff, and asked "Isn't that what marriage is all about"?
Well, no, it isn't.
In fact it's a very very small part of the big picture of what being married means. Touching is bonding, but going through what life throws at you is infinately more so.
From "The Prophet" Kahil Gibran
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow