Chai wrote:No, it's not complicated.
Most of the times we sleep together. The other bedroom is for whoever wakes up in the middle of the night and has to move around, or I'll go in there if he's snoring really loud.
Sometimes one or the other of us just wants to sleep alone, and goes in there.
We do that too - it's called the couch! We only have two bedrooms - one for us and one for the kids. If one of us is having a restless night, that person will usually go in the livingroom with a pillow and blanket, watch some TV and lay down so as not to bother the other.
Oh yeah soz, that's sounds a lot like us.
I hadn't really thought of it before, but we always sleep together on the weekends, I can stay in bed an extra hour if I got woken up the night before.
Neither one of us likes to cuddle WHILE sleeping, we stay on our separate sides of the bed with sleep time arrives.
It's true, it has nothing to do with the quality of our marriage, just getting a good nights rest.
I go to bed by 9 and get up at five am...he seldom comes to bed before 11 or midnight, and gets up at 7. It's not like we are joined at the hip.
Yeah, we do the couch too. (It's a fairly cozy couch.) I'm like squinney -- can fall asleep anywhere and can sleep through most things (unless my kid's sick, then I wake up instantly at the slightest vibration). E.G. is a much iffier sleeper. So we have this patently unfair system that when I'm sick, I sleep on the couch because, I snore when I'm sick (if it's a cold) and bother him -- if he's sick, I go on the couch because he tosses and turns and wakes up in a cold sweat and doesn't sleep well on the couch. :-?
I just dropped off the kid at school and while driving I listen to an Los Angeles radio station and there the dual bedrooms were also discussed.
The DJ encouraged people to call in and just about everyone who called
had a separate bedroom (mainly due to snoring of spouse).
Exactly, Phoenix! If I go to sleep at eleven and Bear comes in at three in the morning, just cause I stir and open my eyes to make sure it's him doesn't mean start a conversation with me and tell me all that happened. I'll never fall back asleep!!!
Can I third that? (Thankfully, that's one thing that has gotten through Mr. "If anyone's sick, you get the couch"'s thick skull.)
squinney wrote:Exactly, Phoenix! If I go to sleep at eleven and Bear comes in at three in the morning, just cause I stir and open my eyes to make sure it's him doesn't mean start a conversation with me and tell me all that happened. I'll never fall back asleep!!!
bullshit.... I could wake you and recite the Gettysburg address to you and you'd fall asleep before I finished saying Four score....
Self-preservation. Now or never!!
I've explained it to E.G. by saying it's like sleep is deep water and wakefulness is air over the surface of the water. If I am awakened from a deep sleep briefly, I go to shallower water, nearer the surface, but can sink back in without much problem. The longer he talks to me, the closer to the surface I get, and once I've broken the surface, that's it, I'm awake. And if I'm really awake it's heck to get back to sleep.
sozobe wrote:Can I third that? (Thankfully, that's one thing that has gotten through Mr. "If anyone's sick, you get the couch"'s thick skull.)
Some people you have to hit with a brick.
Some people you have to hit with a
big brick.
Thick As A Brick
Really don't mind if you sit this one out.
My words but a whisper -- your deafness a SHOUT.
I may make you feel but I can't make you think.
Your sperm's in the gutter -- your love's in the sink.
So you ride yourselves over the fields and
you make all your animal deals and
your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick.
soz- the water analogy is so right on the mark.
Now, could someone hand me a brick?
Back in the 18th century when Stately Homes came with two master bedrooms, marriages among the upper classes were usually arranged by the parents with an eye to consolidating or extending property.
Passion wasn't required to breed and heir and a spare--and certainly not needed afterwards.
Obviously a woman couldn't entertain her lover under her husband's roof, but in the era of Victorian house parties, many adulterous comples played Musical Beds with the cooperation of the hostess.
Do you think one used the spare rooms (with dual master beds) to masturbate or to pray god (or both)?
Typical French!
Some people actually sleep in their beds, Francis.
We have a guest room with a very good queen-sized bed. In fact, the mattress is better for my back than the king-sized one in our master bedroom that Hubby likes better. Hubby has sleep apnea and wakes frequently. He needs more sleep than he usually gets. I have allergies and cough a lot at night. So whenever my allergies get bad, I choose the guest room so he can get some badly-needed sleep. Actually, we both sleep better.
But we miss each other. Like Bear said, slipping between the sheets and feeling the other one there is like coming home...ahhh!
Unless I'm sick...in which case, I don't want anyone near me. Especially at night.
two of my favourite authors (Marjorie Harris/Jack Batten) sorted it out nicely
Quote:Jack is a law-school graduate from a Forest Hill business family who went on to become a respected author and journalist. Batten married Harris in 1968. They separated in 1979. Jack now resides in the apartment above Harris and so they are now happily married again
Yeah, that was an aspect of the NYT article, that in terms of real estate there is an expectation that separate apartments in the same building are the next trend for married couples.
My own ideal (though I lack the family to make it work) is something I read about a few years ago. Two brothers and their families live in a three-story brownstone in NYC. One family lives on the first floor, one family lives on the third floor, and the second floor is a common area -- kitchen, dining room, family room, etc. Each family has one kid each.
Here's the section I had in mind from the NYT article:
sozobe wrote:Yeah, that was an aspect of the NYT article, that in terms of real estate there is an expectation that separate apartments in the same building are the next trend for married couples.
My own ideal (though I lack the family to make it work) is something I read about a few years ago. Two brothers and their families live in a three-story brownstone in NYC. One family lives on the first floor, one family lives on the third floor, and the second floor is a common area -- kitchen, dining room, family room, etc. Each family has one kid each.
These people are insane.
If we lived in the same building with either my brother or sister-in-law, there would soon be a homicide investigation....
