All of your burning philosophical questions answered

I have another question.

I watch cooking shows on tv. The chefs/cooks/food preparers are always talking about extra virgin olive oil.

I know what olive oil is, but I don't understand the concept of "extra virgin." It seems to me that virginity is not something that can be measured in degrees. Either you is or you ain't.

Please enlighten me oh Maven of Massachusetts.

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Chumly wrote:

Jespah,
when is the younger sleeker version a better choice?

It is for sexual devices and hairpieces.

May a girl named Ethel croon bawdy love songs in Swedish to your Uncle Marvin.

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Roberta wrote:

I have another question.

I watch cooking shows on tv. The chefs/cooks/food preparers are always talking about extra virgin olive oil.

I know what olive oil is, but I don't understand the concept of "extra virgin." It seems to me that virginity is not something that can be measured in degrees. Either you is or you ain't.

Please enlighten me oh Maven of Massachusetts.

Well, there's virgin, as in (one would hope) very young children or your homely cousin from the sticks who everyone touts for her wonderful, er, personality, and then there's folks who are virgins as a professional matter, such as nuns. Those are extra virgins. Hence extra virgin olive oil is olive oil made by nuns.

May the donkey of destiny bray sweetly in your ear.

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Why are the off-road, lots-o-wheel-drive, humongous-tired,
adventurously-named, holy-****-I-need-a-ladder-to-get-to-the-door
vehicles always the cleanest and shiniest in the supermarket parking lot?

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George wrote:

Why are the off-road, lots-o-wheel-drive, humongous-tired, adventurously-named, holy-****-I-need-a-ladder-to-get-to-the-door
vehicles always the cleanest and shiniest in the supermarket parking lot?

Mud, if just off a road (or in a spa) has cleaning and healing properties. These extend to people, animals and SUVs in particular. However, it loses these properties if you track it in on your shoes. Therefore, you should go barefoot always.

May the swans of industry swim in the mostly algae-free pond of your success.

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jespah wrote:

Roberta wrote:
I have another question.

I watch cooking shows on tv. The chefs/cooks/food preparers are always talking about extra virgin olive oil.

I know what olive oil is, but I don't understand the concept of "extra virgin." It seems to me that virginity is not something that can be measured in degrees. Either you is or you ain't.

Please enlighten me oh Maven of Massachusetts.

Well, there's virgin, as in (one would hope) very young children or your homely cousin from the sticks who everyone touts for her wonderful, er, personality, and then there's folks who are virgins as a professional matter, such as nuns. Those are extra virgins. Hence extra virgin olive oil is olive oil made by nuns.

May the donkey of destiny bray sweetly in your ear.

There are other professional virgins? I wonder about this only because you said, "such as," implying others.

I really like donkeys, but might they direct their braying somewhere other than my ear? Don't mean to be picky, but I like my peace and quiet.

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Roberta wrote:

jespah wrote:
Roberta wrote:
I have another question.

I watch cooking shows on tv. The chefs/cooks/food preparers are always talking about extra virgin olive oil.

I know what olive oil is, but I don't understand the concept of "extra virgin." It seems to me that virginity is not something that can be measured in degrees. Either you is or you ain't.

Please enlighten me oh Maven of Massachusetts.

Well, there's virgin, as in (one would hope) very young children or your homely cousin from the sticks who everyone touts for her wonderful, er, personality, and then there's folks who are virgins as a professional matter, such as nuns. Those are extra virgins. Hence extra virgin olive oil is olive oil made by nuns.

May the donkey of destiny bray sweetly in your ear.

There are other professional virgins? I wonder about this only because you said, "such as," implying others.

I really like donkeys, but might they direct their braying somewhere other than my ear? Don't mean to be picky, but I like my peace and quiet.

Sorry about the donkey. Well, I like to leave an opening re the professional virgins thing. I mean, what about most of the Chess Club from my High School? They were certainly virgins although they may have still had amateur status, which I guess would qualify them for the Virgin Olympics.

May the moose of misery stay away from your garden.

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jespah wrote:

Roberta wrote:
jespah wrote:
Roberta wrote:
I have another question.

I watch cooking shows on tv. The chefs/cooks/food preparers are always talking about extra virgin olive oil.

I know what olive oil is, but I don't understand the concept of "extra virgin." It seems to me that virginity is not something that can be measured in degrees. Either you is or you ain't.

Please enlighten me oh Maven of Massachusetts.

Well, there's virgin, as in (one would hope) very young children or your homely cousin from the sticks who everyone touts for her wonderful, er, personality, and then there's folks who are virgins as a professional matter, such as nuns. Those are extra virgins. Hence extra virgin olive oil is olive oil made by nuns.

May the donkey of destiny bray sweetly in your ear.

There are other professional virgins? I wonder about this only because you said, "such as," implying others.

I really like donkeys, but might they direct their braying somewhere other than my ear? Don't mean to be picky, but I like my peace and quiet.

Sorry about the donkey. Well, I like to leave an opening re the professional virgins thing. I mean, what about most of the Chess Club from my High School? They were certainly virgins although they may have still had amateur status, which I guess would qualify them for the Virgin Olympics.

May the moose of misery stay away from your garden.

Okay, I understand about leaving things open re the professional virgins. Thanks about the donkey-braying.

Now I gotta worry about some poor moose wandering around in misery. If he's that unhappy, I'd let him into my garden--if I had one. Poor thing.

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Well, it's a metaphoric moose.

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Ah, a metaphoric moose. I can stop worrying. Thank you oh knower of all. And sorry for being so literal. It's one of my numerous character flaws.

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I noticed that your signature is from Robert Burns, so can you answer this question?

gin in body meet a body
comin' through the rye
gin in body meet a body
nae a body cry

elke a lassie ha'e a laddie
nae they say ha'e i
when all the lassies smile at me
when comin' thro' the rye

===
What the hell is he talking about?

Joe(Cry? because??? nevermind, you tell me)Nation

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Roberta wrote:

And sorry for being so literal. It's one of my numerous character flaws.

Jes,
Does this mean Roberta does not have a nice figurative?

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Joe Nation wrote:

I noticed that your signature is from Robert Burns, so can you answer this question?

gin in body meet a body
comin' through the rye
gin in body meet a body
nae a body cry

elke a lassie ha'e a laddie
nae they say ha'e i
when all the lassies smile at me
when comin' thro' the rye

===
What the hell is he talking about?

Joe(Cry? because??? nevermind, you tell me)Nation

The short answer: I dunno.

The long answer: There are many versions of this song, only one of which is attributed to Burns. The first stanza above is from Burns's version; the second isn't. In Burns's version, some poor goil named Jennie is slogging through the rye and is all wet. Here's his version:

Coming thro' the rye, poor body,
Coming thro' the rye,
She draiglet a' her petticoatie
Coming thro' the rye.

O, Jenny's a' wat, poor body;
Jenny's seldom dry;
She draiglet a' her petticoatie
Coming thro' the rye.

Gin a body meet a body
Coming thro' the rye,
Gin a body kiss a body -
Need a body cry?

Gin a body meet a body
Coming thro' the glen,
Gin a body kiss a body -
Need the warld ken?

I think what it boils down to is that person talking in the poem sees nothing wrong with giving a girl a kiss if he happens to run into her walking around in the rye. There's no need for her to cry, and, hey, nobody's gonna know. I suspect that the link to poor wet Jennie is that she didn't agree with his viewpoint (I have major doubts about this part.)

The second stanza you quote says that every girl has a boy. People say he doesn't have a girl. But all the girls smile at him when they meet him in the rye.

I could be wrong on any or all of this. Wouldn't be the foist time; won't be the last. And between you and me, I have a feeling that there's a lot more going on in the rye than is readily apparent.

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Chumly wrote:

Roberta wrote:
And sorry for being so literal. It's one of my numerous character flaws.
Jes,
Does this mean Roberta does not have a nice figurative?

Roberta has a lovely figurative and an equally lovely literalitive. Plus she was kind to answer the Robbie Burns question, which would have had me making jokes about what's worn under the kilt.*

*Nothing, everything's as good as new.

May your next phone message be from a Saggitarius.

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jespah wrote:

Chumly wrote:
Roberta wrote:
And sorry for being so literal. It's one of my numerous character flaws.
Jes,
Does this mean Roberta does not have a nice figurative?

Roberta has a lovely figurative and an equally lovely literalitive. Plus she was kind to answer the Robbie Burns question, which would have had me making jokes about what's worn under the kilt.*

*Nothing, everything's as good as new.

May your next phone message be from a Saggitarius.

Jes, I reread that Burns question twice, hoping it was directed at you. But I don't think your signature line is from Burns. So I assumed Joe was talking to me. Didn't mean to horn in on your turf. I shoulda made up a joke about kilts. But, like I said, being literal minded is a character flaw.

Thanks for the kind words about my figurativity and literalitivity.

Here's a question for you. The other day I found part of a yellow feather on my living room floor. There are no birds here. In fact, there are no feathers anywhere in my apartment (I'm allergic.) Whither camest the feather?

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Sorry,,,,,,, I need to learn how to pay attention.

I think I was so excited to see a quote I actually recognized that I jumped to the conclusion that it was on J's sig not Roberta's.

Roberta's explanation was crystal clear, unlike the skies of Scotland, and for the first time I see the young girl, her damp clothes clinging to her like SaranWrap, getting kissed against her will, all while being surrounded by a quite concealing field of rye.

I had to go lie down (lae doone?) while I thought about it.

I'm done thinking about it now.

um....so ,,, that is all.

Joe(I would like to know about the feather because I have another question)Nation

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Jes,
I am an impressive handsome lad by any measure, yet I'm reluctant to use my photo as my avatar due to the overwhelmingly inevitable erotic propositions beyond what a mere mortal could endure. And yet I do like the personal touch it can bring to this harsh cyber-world.

What should I do?

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Chumly wrote:

I am an impressive handsome lad by any measure, yet I'm reluctant to use my photo as my avatar due to the overwhelmingly inevitable erotic propositions beyond what a mere mortal could endure. And yet I do like the personal touch it can bring to this harsh cyber-world.

What should I do?

Simple, wear a mask when you take a photo of yourself! Laughing

Next question....

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Chumly wrote:

Jes,
I am an impressive handsome lad by any measure, yet I'm reluctant to use my photo as my avatar due to the overwhelmingly inevitable erotic propositions beyond what a mere mortal could endure. And yet I do like the personal touch it can bring to this harsh cyber-world.

What should I do?

You must post your picture immediately, of course. The women of A2K are more discerning than average, having been spoiled by the likes of Lord Ellpus, Francis and numerous others. We can take it. We will let you know if your photo measures up to our expectations.

Oh, sorry. You were speaking to jespah, weren't you. Embarrassed

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Roberta wrote:

... Jes, I reread that Burns question twice, hoping it was directed at you. But I don't think your signature line is from Burns. So I assumed Joe was talking to me. Didn't mean to horn in on your turf. I shoulda made up a joke about kilts. But, like I said, being literal minded is a character flaw.

Thanks for the kind words about my figurativity and literalitivity.

Here's a question for you. The other day I found part of a yellow feather on my living room floor. There are no birds here. In fact, there are no feathers anywhere in my apartment (I'm allergic.) Whither camest the feather?

A neighborhood child either was carrying around a Big Bird doll or a neighborhood neat freak came by with a feather duster (they carry 'em everywhere, dontcha know). Either way, it ends badly, with the child crying about the lost feather or the neat freak whining about both the clutter of a feather lying around and the loss of perfect symmetry on the feather duster itself. It's worse, of course, if you know of any under-18 neat freaks. Try to keep them out of your apartment at all times, unless they offer gifts of brownies.

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