All of your burning philosophical questions answered

So bring a fishing line, baited with matzoh (the plain kind, they don't like egg and onion) to the kosher foods section and you might catch a wild gefilte.

With records nearly shattered each day during this year's hyper-competitive Gefilte Fishing season, it should come as no surprise to avid sport-fishing fans that veteran Gefilte Fisherman Eli Kozlowski finally smashed a two thousand six hundred and thirteen year old record, catching a 64 pound Gefilte along the shorelines of Lake Anakatan in Central Minnesota. With descendants of former record holder Shimon Ben Ur of Babylonia on hand, Kozlowski lifted the Giant Gefilte from the water and placed it in a bathtub full of jellied broth. "I reeled and reeled and barely broke a sweat," Eli said. "Even for a Gefilte, she was a spineless beast".

Quote:

With records nearly shattered each day during this year's hyper-competitive Gefilte Fishing season, it should come as no surprise to avid sport-fishing fans that veteran Gefilte Fisherman Eli Kozlowski finally smashed a two thousand six hundred and thirteen year old record, catching a 64 pound Gefilte along the shorelines of Lake Anakatan in Central Minnesota. With descendants of former record holder Shimon Ben Ur of Babylonia on hand, Kozlowski lifted the Giant Gefilte from the water and placed it in a bathtub full of jellied broth. "I reeled and reeled and barely broke a sweat," Eli said. "Even for a Gefilte, she was a spineless beast".

Link to Record Gefilte fish

You are going to have to get up early in the morning to beat old Ed. Matzoh Balls, at the ready!

Quote:

With records nearly shattered each day during this year's hyper-competitive Gefilte Fishing season, it should come as no surprise to avid sport-fishing fans that veteran Gefilte Fisherman Eli Kozlowski finally smashed a two thousand six hundred and thirteen year old record, catching a 64 pound Gefilte along the shorelines of Lake Anakatan in Central Minnesota. With descendants of former record holder Shimon Ben Ur of Babylonia on hand, Kozlowski lifted the Giant Gefilte from the water and placed it in a bathtub full of jellied broth. "I reeled and reeled and barely broke a sweat," Eli said. "Even for a Gefilte, she was a spineless beast".

Link to Record Gefilte fish

You are going to have to get up early in the morning to beat old Ed. Matzoh Balls, at the ready!

Chumly wrote:

jespah wrote:

Roberta wrote:

Chumly wrote:

Roberta wrote:

Chumly wrote:

Roberta wrote:

Speaking of fish, which we were a while ago, I've looked everywhere.

You'll have to look backwards; it was eons ago that we were fish!

Not saying we were fish (not saying we weren't either). Just saying that we were talking about fish not all that long ago.

Talking fish……what's in a Filet-O-Fish then....talking fish?

Don't make me come over there!

OK, I'll make you come where you are! Your eyes are aflame with sultry animal passions, your tongue is a broodingly mysterious red, your ivory fangs telltale of the hunt.

Got a cigarette?

Nice, a feline sexual bonspiel (well you made my toes "curl")!

Thing is though, I only smoke New Testament Cigarettes pussy-cat-baby, you wanna a fag get'cher own!

PS Salami is good bait for wild kreplach.

Got a cigarette?


Thing is though, I only smoke New Testament Cigarettes pussy-cat-baby, you wanna a fag get'cher own!

Oh, queen of sagacity in the city in the state with a long name, I have another question.

My mother died several years ago. Am I correct in assuming that it is now okay for me to step on a crack without causing her undue harm? Is there a fitting time period to wait? Or would it have been all right if I had stepped on a crack immediately after her departure from this world?

Roberta wrote:

Oh, queen of sagacity in the city in the state with a long name, I have another question.

My mother died several years ago. Am I correct in assuming that it is now okay for me to step on a crack without causing her undue harm? Is there a fitting time period to wait? Or would it have been all right if I had stepped on a crack immediately after her departure from this world?

Yes. kreplach are land animals.

As for your dear departed mother (how come every time I say or write that, I think of it as being in a brogue?), her back is in Heaven or the great beyond and is beyond any harm you could do with the whole sidewalk stepping issue. Do not, however, step on any onion rings! Aside from being a slightly greasy tripping hazard, remember this rhyme,

Step on onion rings,
break your mother's wings

I trust the warning is sufficiently clear.

May a freshly washed camel guide you to an appropriate destination, where tasty snacks are prepared for both you and the aforesaid camel.

Good grief, all these years wondering what the HELL a kreplach is, and I finally google it to find it is a Jewish won ton!



I have wondered since the seventies, when Bette Midler had a schtick in her concerts about the old ladies with kreplach on their foreheads not usually coming out until summer, and she had seen one at the wrong time.



Why didn't Jespah, who claims to know everything, not know I did not know what a kreplach was?


And as for you, Boida, call yourself a friend, and you never illuninated me?



I am going to have to wear a kreplach on my forehead in mourning.

dlowan wrote:

Good grief, all these years wondering what the HELL a kreplach is, and I finally google it to find it is a Jewish won ton!



I have wondered since the seventies, when Bette Midler had a schtick in her concerts about the old ladies with kreplach on their foreheads not usually coming out until summer, and she had seen one at the wrong time.



Why didn't Jespah, who claims to know everything, not know I did not know what a kreplach was?


And as for you, Boida, call yourself a friend, and you never illuninated me?



I am going to have to wear a kreplach on my forehead in mourning.

Deb querida, I am your friend. (Cut to the quick that you could even wonder.) If I knew you wanted to know what kreplach was, I would have been happy to tell you. However, I never in my entire life heard of anybody putting kreplach on their head. I don't know what in the world Bette was talking about. If I find out, you'll be the first to know. I promise. In the meantime, I gotta go put some antiseptic on my quick. It hurts like hell.

(BTW, Jespah knows everything, including what kreplach is. )

Roberta wrote:

dlowan wrote:

Good grief, all these years wondering what the HELL a kreplach is, and I finally google it to find it is a Jewish won ton!



I have wondered since the seventies, when Bette Midler had a schtick in her concerts about the old ladies with kreplach on their foreheads not usually coming out until summer, and she had seen one at the wrong time.



Why didn't Jespah, who claims to know everything, not know I did not know what a kreplach was?


And as for you, Boida, call yourself a friend, and you never illuninated me?



I am going to have to wear a kreplach on my forehead in mourning.

Deb querida, I am your friend. (Cut to the quick that you could even wonder.) If I knew you wanted to know what kreplach was, I would have been happy to tell you. However, I never in my entire life heard of anybody putting kreplach on their head. I don't know what in the world Bette was talking about. If I find out, you'll be the first to know. I promise. In the meantime, I gotta go put some antiseptic on my quick. It hurts like hell.

(BTW, Jespah knows everything, including what kreplach is. )

Thank you.



I think Bette was kind of kidding about the kreplach and the forehead.

dlowan wrote:

Roberta wrote:

dlowan wrote:

Good grief, all these years wondering what the HELL a kreplach is, and I finally google it to find it is a Jewish won ton!



I have wondered since the seventies, when Bette Midler had a schtick in her concerts about the old ladies with kreplach on their foreheads not usually coming out until summer, and she had seen one at the wrong time.



Why didn't Jespah, who claims to know everything, not know I did not know what a kreplach was?


And as for you, Boida, call yourself a friend, and you never illuninated me?



I am going to have to wear a kreplach on my forehead in mourning.

Deb querida, I am your friend. (Cut to the quick that you could even wonder.) If I knew you wanted to know what kreplach was, I would have been happy to tell you. However, I never in my entire life heard of anybody putting kreplach on their head. I don't know what in the world Bette was talking about. If I find out, you'll be the first to know. I promise. In the meantime, I gotta go put some antiseptic on my quick. It hurts like hell.

(BTW, Jespah knows everything, including what kreplach is. )

Thank you.



I think Bette was kind of kidding about the kreplach and the forehead.

I think so too. Here's a quote from a Bette bio on google:

About Bette Midler's 1976 HBO special, from: Mair, page 117:
This was followed by another comedy routine, in which she said she was going to do a sequel to the erotic movie Emmanuelle, called Temple Emmanuelle, in which there was a lot of kissing of mezuzahs (a tube containing a household blessing that many Jews attach to the front door of their home). She also noted that in her film, a woman had an unspeakable liaison with a kreplach (a turnover or dough pocket with chopped chicken liver or other fillings served in soup).
She next went into a play on the word kreplach, saying it was a person who lived in a small Baltic country and that, occasionally, a kreplach escaped to the West.

Good grief, all these years wondering what the HELL a kreplach is, and I finally google it to find it is a Jewish won ton!



I have wondered since the seventies, when Bette Midler had a schtick in her concerts about the old ladies with kreplach on their foreheads not usually coming out until summer, and she had seen one at the wrong time.



Why didn't Jespah, who claims to know everything, not know I did not know what a kreplach was?


And as for you, Boida, call yourself a friend, and you never illuninated me?



I am going to have to wear a kreplach on my forehead in mourning.

...So...a question for Jespah:


Most people kind of like having sex, right?


So why is get f@cked considered an insult, instead of a kind wish...like have a good day?