All of your burning philosophical questions answered

A while ago I had to have a baby toenail removed and when I went to get a pedicure, it really stumped the pedicurist. She didn't know what to do. Should she have painted the polish directly onto my toe, or should she have pretended she didn't notice?

Oh, and is wearing white sandals fashionable yet?

Thank you in advance.

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My sister buys plastic raincoats and resells them on e-Bay. Her clients are fetishists.

Is she providing a much-needed service or is she heartlessly living off the avails of "people with issues"?

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I stared at these questions, confused, confused, and then I looked at the title again..

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Chumly wrote:

I have long hair and my (shorthaired domestic) cat will take my hair ties and run away with them, my dog OTOH has long hair too, so I cut it every spring, what does this all mean?

It means that eventually you will have enough hair to build yourself a hair fortress. It's lightweight, protective, bouncy and behavin'.

May you always have pudding when you need it.

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Mame wrote:

A while ago I had to have a baby toenail removed and when I went to get a pedicure, it really stumped the pedicurist. She didn't know what to do. Should she have painted the polish directly onto my toe, or should she have pretended she didn't notice?

Oh, and is wearing white sandals fashionable yet?

Thank you in advance.

She should have given you a very tiny doggie bag of polish to take home with you for the momentous (and much anticipated) Return of the Baby Toenail (coming soon to a theatre near you; no one will be seated during the dramatic Ode to My Toe song). Or she should have given you a 10% discount.

As for the sandals, we had flurries here yesterday, so sandals are out of the question unless you wear snow boots over them. Doesn't everyone?

Mame wrote:

My sister buys plastic raincoats and resells them on e-Bay. Her clients are fetishists.

Is she providing a much-needed service or is she heartlessly living off the avails of "people with issues"?

Certainly, she is commended for being service-oriented. However, given that the government is also involved in social services, she is directly in competition with them and you know Uncle Sam (and who, Aunt Mildred?) doesn't like that. Hence she will have to declare herself (or her neighborhood if she thinks it's too weird to be one unto herself) a country and start levying taxes and the like.

BTW, is your sister named Mime?

May the foxes of reason invade the hen house of your soul.

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ossobuco wrote:

I stared at these questions, confused, confused, and then I looked at the title again..

It's all good, and many thanks to Roberta for performing CPR on this vital topic.

May your swim suit remain free of sand.

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Bright light of the Bay State, I have another question. I have no interest in being next to godliness. Does this mean that I don't have to clean?

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Oh wise one, is it true that the only 'clearer' way to make the point that;
'A2K only answer inquiries through the Help Desk' is to tattoo the message on people's foreheads?

If so, will it be in mirror writing so they will be able to read it on reflection, or due to the high numbers, in plain text so they will be reminded by the sight of others?

If I may beg your indulgence for a moment longer to address my concerns in respect of repeat offenders; do they have the whole message repeated over and over and over again or just 'Ditto'?

Thanking you in anticipation.

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What's Hell really like? Fun, or not so fun? Do they take major credit cards there?

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Jes, I read your answer to my sister, Mime, and we laughed our heads off. She said to tell you that since she is NOT providing an altruistic service, she must be heartlessly living off the avails Laughing

Thank you for your insight.

I'll be back.

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Mime and Mame? What kind of sick joke is that to play on sisters?

My brothers and I were all named Joe. There was Jojo and Joey and JoeyJay and Big JoeyD, the gangster. Also LoJoe, but he was more of a sister than a brother. After I left home they had another Joe and a Baby Joe and a Little Baby Joey. When I come home they call me HeyJoe so as not to get anyone confused.

So my question is what part of the garlic do you get the garlic salt from?

Joe(waiting quietly but need to know)Nation

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I like the way your parents think, Joe(always has a parenthetical comment)Nation. There are other sibs in our family, too... Dame and Dime, and Lame and Lime. And no, none of us are twins.

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Mame wrote:

I like the way your parents think, Joe(always has a parenthetical comment)Nation. There are other sibs in our family, too... Dame and Dime, and Lame and Lime. And no, none of us are twins.

Hey, why are our legs getting longer here? :wink:

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Joe Nation wrote:

...My brothers and I were all named Joe. There was Jojo and Joey and JoeyJay and Big JoeyD, the gangster. Also LoJoe, but he was more of a sister than a brother. After I left home they had another Joe and a Baby Joe and a Little Baby Joey. When I come home they call me HeyJoe so as not to get anyone confused....

That's the silliest thing I've heard all day. Razz

And I live with an engineer and a 13 year old boy.

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I think that Jespah has abandoned us to flounder in darkness and ignorance.

Sigh

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No, just got busy. And am gathering, er, wisdom.

May your haircut always remain in fashion.

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Okay. Gathering wisdom is good. The question I posted isn't an emergency. I can wait.

Thanks for the haircut wishes. Hope the same for you.

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Roberta wrote:

Bright light of the Bay State, I have another question. I have no interest in being next to godliness. Does this mean that I don't have to clean?

Cleanliness is next to godliness but its neighbor on the other side is a guy named Sal who drives a Dodge Charger. Sal is a pleasant enough guy but he will park the Charger on your lawn (or lawn equivalent if you're lawnless) if you don't clean at least once a decade. So, clean at least once a decade, try to avoid a Collier's Mansion situation and you should be fine.

May Fernando Valenzuela mysteriously appear when you are lonely.

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Tryagain wrote:

Oh wise one, is it true that the only 'clearer' way to make the point that;
'A2K only answer inquiries through the Help Desk' is to tattoo the message on people's foreheads?
If so, will it be in mirror writing so they will be able to read it on reflection, or due to the high numbers, in plain text so they will be reminded by the sight of others?
If I may beg your indulgence for a moment longer to address my concerns in respect of repeat offenders; do they have the whole message repeated over and over and over again or just 'Ditto'?
Thanking you in anticipation.

Well, yes. But some of the details have not yet been worked out and it's still in Beta. However, I can tell you that it will be written in Linear B (which makes equal -- read: no -- sense either the regular way or in a mirror). A plain text editor will be used so as to allow for maximal foreheadinal compatibility. Lucky repeat offenders will not get a tattoo but I do have a branding iron handy and I'm itchin' to try it.

May you have all the chutney you need.

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Reyn wrote:

What's Hell really like? Fun, or not so fun? Do they take major credit cards there?

Alas, one of the downsides of Hell is that you can only use credit cards from the Afterlife Credit Union. The Union is only open for three seconds every 6,000 years hence, according to some faiths, has only been open once but is ripe for another opening soon. This will be referred to as The Second Coming of the Junior Credit Manager and is not to be confused with a different second coming of some guy with similar yet not precisely identical initials.
There is fun, though, because all the regulars know that it's just dumb to stand in the Credit Union line until it gets really close to opening time. There are board games (but they only have Boggle and Hungry Hungry Hippos and not the good ones like Risk and Monopoly) and volleyball (but not the coed nude kind). This is hell, after all. You want coed nude volleyball? Then be righteous and you might spend the afterlife in Palm Beach. Just like in this life, stay away from the camera crew from "Girls Gone Wild" and you should be fine. Even though you're male I provide this warning as a public service for you to pass onto your female friends in the Palm Beach afterlife.

May your emotional spatula clean the bowl of enjoyment while waiting for the cookies of delight to emerge from the oven of life.

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