Because Everyone in Canada Lives in an Igloo

>>Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter
Olympics,
>>these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
>>Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
>>International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke;but
the
>>questions were really asked!
>>
>>
>>Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
>>grow?(England)
>>A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and
watch
>>them die.
>>
>>Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
>>A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
>>
>>Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
>>tracks? (Sweden)
>>A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
>>
>>Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
>>A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
>>
>>Q:It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
>>contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
>>A: Let's not touch this one.
>>
>>Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
>>list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
>>A: What, did your last slave die?
>>
>>
>>Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?
(USA)
>>A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
>>Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the
>>hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
>>
>>Q:Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
>>A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here
>>and we'll send the rest of the directions.
>>
>>Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)
>>A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>>
>>Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
>>A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which
>>is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night
>>in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come
>>naked.
>>
>>Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
>>A: No, WE don't stink.
>>
>>Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
>>you sell it in Canada?(USA)
>>A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>>
>>Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
>>population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
>>A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
>>
>>
>>Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
>>A: Only at Thanksgiving.
>>
>>Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
>>round?(Germany)
>>A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk
is
>>illegal.
>>
>>
>>Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget
its
>>name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )
>>A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
>>brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
>>spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
>>
>>Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
>>A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.