help no sex drive and ill at the world

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i 'm 21 and just got married in july its great and i also just had a baby 3 months ago i have noticed that me and my husband has sex maybe 2 times in a month something is wrong we are young and also im so grouchy im always down in the dumps and tired and biting peoples head off for no reason ...im really scared i dont want to lose my family over something so stupid. so any help would be great thanks .... the depressed one Crying or Very sad

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amerigirl, more experienced folk than I should be along later but have you asked your doctor if you're experiencing postpartum depression?

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amerigirl86, At 21 you have many family and life trials on the road to happiness and a strong family. If love is in place I would bet my life you will be fine.

Good times will come and come to pass but bad times will also come and come to pass.

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Amerigirl--

Welcome to A2K.

With a new baby it is not surprising that you and your husband are tired, tired, tired. At three months your beloved baby (who is not completely adorable in the middle of the night) will very shortly be able to sleep for six to eight hours in between feedings.

Do you both work? Can you nap during the day?

Motherhood has wonderful moments--it also has some exhausting ones.

When do you see your doctor for a checkup?

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thanks for all the info everyone! well i dont really have time to nap because i feel like i got to clean house and get the chores done or they wont get done i think i have to much on me i dont get to much help with the baby even on weekends when hubby is off work still no break i just dont have no me time and things are wearing thin .dont get me wrong i love my son but i had to quit my job to stay at home with him and i never go anywhere now Sad

thanks for all your advice

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amerigirl86- Welcome to A2K!

Hey, you just had a child, which is physically and emotionally exhausting. Your life has completely changed, and you are responsible for a helpless little creature. Is it no wonder that you are tired and grouchy?

Can your husband be coerced to help you with some of the housework? Are you able to hire a maid, even once every couple of weeks? Are there any relatives whom you trust that you can leave your baby with once in awhile, so you can go out with your husband as a couple?

Remember, you are NOT Martha Stewart. It is ok if your house is not spotless at this time. You have changed your role from wife to mother. It is a big change, and you need time to adjust.

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You just had a baby and your body is adjusting to this.

It's hard but I can relate. I am currently pregnant and my sex drive has all but vanished.

Babies are tough on us, aren't they?

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Which is more important--an absolutely clean house or a vibrant marriage?

Perhaps in the past you've never been a person with a need to nap, but right now you're a New Mommie and New Mommies crave sleep.

Motherhood changes you in many ways.

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Is your husband helping with housework and chores?

Taking care of a baby is a job, an especially tough one. It's not fair that you have to do your job 24 hours a day while your husband works only 8 hours a day. You need and deserve some help (and it sounds like you're not getting any).

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sozobe wrote:

Is your husband helping with housework and chores?

Taking care of a baby is a job, an especially tough one. It's not fair that you have to do your job 24 hours a day while your husband works only 8 hours a day. You need and deserve some help (and it sounds like you're not getting any).

i have a great husband but they all have their days that they are Twisted Evil

i told him i was sorry the house was a little messy because my son dident really sleep that night... he said why couldent you all he does is sleep. then he gets mad cause i may go to my sisters once a week and may stay a couple of hours that is the only place i ever go..he makes me feel like im lazy and i dont do nothing which is wrong .i think also maybe thats why im not giving him no sex i dont know but wish i dident have this problem.if he see's the dishes sitting in the sink for a while he gets so mad and he does them but while he is doing them he throws the biggest fit . thats why i dont ask him to do nothing for me he dont relize how much i do and it peeing me off Evil or Very Mad

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Phoenix32890 wrote:

amerigirl86- Welcome to A2K!

Hey, you just had a child, which is physically and emotionally exhausting. Your life has completely changed, and you are responsible for a helpless little creature. Is it no wonder that you are tired and grouchy?

Can your husband be coerced to help you with some of the housework? Are you able to hire a maid, even once every couple of weeks? Are there any relatives whom you trust that you can leave your baby with once in awhile, so you can go out with your husband as a couple?

Remember, you are NOT Martha Stewart. It is ok if your house is not spotless at this time. You have changed your role from wife to mother. It is a big change, and you need time to adjust.

i dont have no family really the only person i have is my sister shes always to busy for anything with her own life . i wish i could hire a maid but money is like water in the dessert around here. so its all on me thats ok my son is so sweet ....thanks

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Maybe you could network with other moms. Take turns babysitting or just have playdates so you could socialize with a grown-up other than your husband. You might have to make an effort to find them, but many young mothers are in the same situation that you are. Try putting up a notice in your local library saying you want to form a "mommy and baby" group or ask your doctor if s/he has any other patient(s) in your area that just had a new baby. It doesn't have to be expensive, just take turns getting together at each other's house/apartment/local park and make some tea and cookies. You are not alone.

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help no sex drive and ill at the world

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