Shiit happens

€ Taoism: **** happens.
€ Confucianism: Confucius say, "**** happens."
€ Buddhism: If **** happens, it isn't really ****.
€ Zen Buddhism: **** is, and is not.
€ Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of **** happening?
€ Hinduism: This **** has happened before.
€ Islam: If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.
€ Islam #2: If **** happens, kill the person responsible.
€ Islam #3: If **** happens, blame Israel.
€ Catholicism: If **** happens, you deserve it.
€ Protestantism: Let **** happen to someone else.
€ Presbyterian: This **** was bound to happen.
€ Episcopalian: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you
serve the right wine with it.
€ Methodist: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve
grape juice with it.
€ Congregationalist: **** that happens to one person is just as
good as **** that happens to another.
€ Unitarian: **** that happens to one person is just as bad as ****
that happens to another.
€ Lutheran: If **** happens, don't talk about it.
€ Fundamentalism: If **** happens, you will go to hell, unless you
are born again. (Amen!)
€ Fundamentalism #2: If **** happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
€ Fundamentalism #3: **** must be born again.
€ Judaism: Why does this **** always happen to us?
€ Calvinism: **** happens because you don't work.
€ Seventh Day Adventism: No **** shall happen on Saturday.
€ Creationism: God made all ****.
€ Secular Humanism: **** evolves.
€ Christian Science: When **** happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
€ Christian Science #2: **** happening is all in your mind.
€ Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this ****.
€ Quakers: Let us not fight over this ****.
€ Utopianism: This **** does not stink.
€ Darwinism: This **** was once food.
€ Capitalism: That's MY ****.
€ Communism: It's everybody's ****.
€ Feminism: Men are ****.
€ Chauvinism: We may be ****, but you can't live without us...
€ Commercialism: Let's package this ****.
€ Impressionism: From a distance, **** looks like a garden.
€ Idolism: Let's bronze this ****.
€ Existentialism: **** doesn't happen; **** IS.
€ Existentialism #2: What is ****, anyway?
€ Stoicism: This **** is good for me.
€ Hedonism: There is nothing like a good **** happening!
€ Mormonism: God sent us this ****.
€ Mormonism #2: This **** is going to happen again.
€ Wiccan: An it harm none, let **** happen.
€ Scientology: If **** happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
€ Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< **** happens.
€ Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our ****?
€ Jehovah's Witnesses #3: **** has been prophesied and is imminent;
only the righteous shall survive its happening.
€ Moonies: Only really happy **** happens.
€ Hare Krishna: **** happens, rama rama.
€ Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****!
€ Zoroastrianism: **** happens half on the time.
€ Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
€ Practical: Deal with **** one day at a time.
€ Agnostic: **** might have happened; then again, maybe not.
€ Agnostic #2: Did someone ****?
€ Agnostic #3: What is this ****?
€ Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
€ Atheism: What ****?
€ Atheism #2: I can't believe this ****!
€ Nihilism: No ****.