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Tue 13 Feb, 2007 11:57 pm
Written by NickFun
Recently deceased model Anna Nicole Smith will be the featured model in Guess Jeans new ad campaign "Smart Corpses Wear Guess Jeans" according to Paul Marciano, Co-Chairman, and Co-General Manager of Guess.
"We simply want to stylize corpses", Marciano explained at a news conference. "I don't know how many wakes I've been to where the body is dressed in something drab and uninteresting. We want to show the world that they should be buried comfortably and stylishly."
Marciano has been accused of shamelessly exploiting Smith's death for ruthless profit and greed. Marciano strongly disputes those assertion. "Anna Nicole was under contract to us at the time of her unfortunate demise. There is nothing in her contract that says she can get out of her contract simply by dying".
Marciano says Smith's death has opened up a new lines of advertising for Guess. Marciano also plans to have Smith's corpse laid out on an autopsy table with the caption below reading "People are dying to wear Guess Jeans".
Not to be outdone, Eddie Bauer Inc. plans to come out with their own line of clothing for the dead.
"We are just waiting for the right celebrity to die", says Eddie Bauer interim CEO Howard Gross. "It would be wonderful if we could sign Britney Spears or Paris Hilton's corpse".
Gross said he is under contract negotiations with both celebrities.
Sorry, but I don't see anything funny in your fictional news story.
I applaud the courage you showed by posting that, NickFun. This one could go either way. I thought it was amusing, actually. But then again, I think doglover is a hot babe, so I have to side with her and condemn you, you insensitive prick.
Good call, Kicky.
It's been a while since I've 'seen' ya. You're still one smokin' dude.
This was supposed to be a parody of the exploitation of Anna Nichole. I'm glad you guys saw the humor.
Obligatory A2K response(to anything): That's not funny! Blah blah blah, making fun of a certain type of person, dead or not is not funny. Don't make fun of the dead on here, because they can't log onto A2K and type a defending post.
I thought it was funny, Nick. But what do I know, I'm going to hell for tripping midgets anytime I see them walking around in public.
Aparrantly ANS told her kids nanny to underfeed the child so she would be thin!!
I think Anna would like the primary post suggestion.
We EAT Celebrities
I usually don't post and rarely post unless I can add something worthwhile (or totally useless)...but...here's my opinion:
I'm one of those who can see humor in nearly anything. Sometimes I keep the humor to myself. I also can grasp any topic and suspend my judgement, at least temporarily. Kudos Nickfun...you got my attention.
What's so odd about this Anna Nicole Smith issue is that it is such a commentary on part of our culture (or lack thereof). At one level, we can take this seriously because of how powerfully sad that person was and that story STILL is (money grubbing leaches). Then on another level (Enquirer), this person invited and craved media into her life..and tried to squeeze all that attention into millions for herself. She just didn't have the smarts or something to know how to shut it off and wander away quietly.
We as a culture seem to EAT celebrities whole. Her idols MM and Jayne Mansfield should have been her life's lesson. she learned nothing and died, oddly, at 39 also. Her son was an innocent victim too..and so will her newborn baby.
I admit to sometimes laughing at ANS jokes..but I am starting to feel guilty.
Speaking of stupid celebrities, Britney Spears shaved her head. So hot, if I were into slutty female monks.
Yes,..it's getting pretty eerie. Her emotional apple-cart has tipped over. She's been calling for her mother. Someone has to intervene here and get her before she succeeds in suicide. Can't anyone save these people from themselves?
a mega hot babe like Anna Nicole dies and Slutty the Mouseketeer still walks the earth..... it truly is a world gone mad....
Planet of the Apes
It's a MAAAAAAAAAAAD-house" (from Planet of the Apes)
I think Britney Spears and Michael Jackson ought to get together. They seem to have so much in common.
Wonder how often either of them hear the word "no" from anyone. Michael is in Never-Never -land. and Britney too..apparently.
Odd how they both seem to have a distorted view of sexuality. Britney is now saying "keep away". And Michael...well...cripes..who knows?! Mainly, everyone ELSE is saying..STAY AWAY!
One thing that I think is a valid comparison is that they were both sexualized when they were very young and probably unable to deal with it. A reaction is understandable.
good observation. What makes me shake my head..is this is like an open sore...regarding the state of our society.
I also think Anna Nicole was easily manipulated by too many people. It wasn't just her own greed but the greed of her malingerers who brought her down. She had it all - yet she had nothing.
From my view point, your observation is correct
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