Self Realization

Re: Self Realization


Hi. Multiple personalities sounds far-fetched with the little snippet you've told us. Some actual recountings of specific comments/situations would help a lot in figuring out your options.

It would also help to know the relation this person has to you. She may be saying certain things to get a certain response from you, depending on your relationship...

Anyway--love analyzing these things, so hope to hear from you.

I hate it when people prescribe me books about how to make my life better. Like I am so stupid that I have to read a book about how to be a human being. I find them insulting. So I wouldn't suggest that.

Nothing you've said indicates multiple personalities. What you describe could be called identity crisis.

You may tell her that she is in control of her own life, that she can become anything she wants to, but it's not quite that simple. In fact, it is completely untrue. She cannot really succeed in something that she can't be happy in, or that she is incapable of devoting the necessary attention to, or that she has not already developed the necessary prerequisites for by this time in life.

So it is not surprising that a person not have confidence that they are completely in control of their own life. At this age in life, they may not know themself well enough to know what they are really capable of doing in the long term, or knowing what will make them happy. No matter what choices you make, there are inveitably going to be huge investments (monetary, time, emotional) as well as huge risks (monetary, time, emotional)!!

Hey, the title is misleading, sneaky fellow you! Here I was thinking this was about your relationship with your self but it is really about getting someone else to change. :wink:

Love her and let it go. The rest is up to her. Unless she is smashing her fists into walls or other behavior that has you seriously worried.

Giving amateur diagnosis to loved ones is a quick way to lose their trust! In my experience anyways. Drive 'em truly nuts.

I believe part of the problem is that she's taking these frustrations out on me.


I'll give you a quick anecdote to illustrate:

I was doing the bills and came across a few of her bills, so I approached and asked, "Where do you want me to put these?". I have a file for all of my things, but she does not.

She then said, "just put them on the table in there" Referring to a disorganized clutter spot, not the best spot if you take into account the fact that she's already made 2 late payments on this certain bill. So I suggest putting it in a file.

Then she seems to be so upset with me. Her reasoning is that I asked her where to put the bills in a demeaning tone, which wasn't true. She commented that I do things just to get under her skin. So she got frustrated at that, and I coudln't tell you why.


Right after that I was putting a dirty bowl in the already loaded dishwasher. I removed two cups in order to make room for the bowl, then place them back in a new arrangement. Then she bursted out, "what are you doing?! I did the dishes already! Those are dirty! My dish washing is never good enough is it? I CANT STAND YOU"

I was taken aback to say the least. I was only putting another bowl in and she jumped on my back. The thing that concerns me is why. Why would she use something like that to get in an argument with me? It's almost like she'll find any excuse to be angry at me.

Well there's one of the many stories, thanks all.