Dick Cheney disappointed by new ray gun

I bet he'd like to take it hunting....

There was a showing of a new technology today, a ray gun that shoots a beam and causes people to think they are on fire. The ray gun will supposedly be an effective weapon to use for deterring people from rioting and to dissuade troublesome characters from approaching a coveted area.

Dick Cheney was one of the people in attendance, and as the crowd watched two volunteers were intentionally shot by the beam. The volunteers immediately started screaming and fell to the ground, rolling around as if to put out the invisible flames.

There was a polite smattering of applause by the crowd and Mr. Cheney was seen to look around in a confused and angry state and ask, "Why aren't these bastards on fire? I want to see real flames and I want to see people die! What kind of pussy weapon is this?"

Cheney was led away by one of the Generals in attendance and a bystander overheard him whisper in Cheney's ear, "Don't worry, Dick, there's a setting on the gun that sets brown-skinned people on fire."

A twisted smile crossed Cheney's face and there was evidence of a discharge in the front of his trousers.


Full story here, but the Cheney part has been removed by the CIA