I watch the ripples change their size...

Oh. Never mind me. I thought it said "nipples".

You again!

----

boomer, kids don't like changes to their room. I remember that
even changing the curtains was a major undertaking and only after
involving her in the design/buying process made it somewhat better.

peripatetic and ubiquitous

Huh.

Maybe growing up in houses constantly under rennovation made me immune to such emotions.

He hasn't thought of that as "his" room for a while - he hardly sets foot in there. The room move has been much discussed, it wasn't any kind of surprise.

What was a surprise was his reaction.

huh?

Hm, did you include him in the rearrangements? Have had him
carry some boxes, light furniture etc. to get him more involved?

It's always difficult to tell what triggers their outburst and where
it originates from. Talking about it does help, and that's what you
did.

I agree, that talking helps.

And it definitely always bothered me. I'm not a fan of change (and can see how Mo would have rather strong preferences in that category, too).

That's true (as CJ says), for most kids though, as in even without Mo's reasons for being fearful of change. I've talked before about how sozlet was at her absolute worst ever when we moved. I expected it, prepared for it, etc., etc., but it was still way over the top for a while there.

As another general observation, kids usually aren't that great at predicting how they will react to something. There have been MANY times when sozlet was well aware of something that was going to happen, insisted that it would be fine/ no problem, and then when it actually happened she had a chicken fit.

That makes a lot of sense - kids not being able to predict their response to something.

Our house has been through so much rennovation over the last six months that I supposed he had gotten used to the fact that the house was changing.

We had talked about it and he seemed very nonchalant about the whole thing. Like I said - he didn't like that room, he hardly went in there. He wasn't all excited about moving but he seemed to agree that the other room just wasn't working anymore.

I couldn't even imagine moving to a different house, soz.

Boomer--

Think of that hissy fit--and all other hissy fits objecting to change--as a tribute to Mo's satisfaction with his life with you and Mr. B. (He's even thinking about incorporating school into that satisfactory life.)

The status quo suits him just fine thank you very much.

What is Clairol stock selling for these days?

Hold your dominion.

Noddy, you have a way of always making me feel better about life.

Thank you for that.

Boomer--

Every word is true.

Forget about the moving furniture around.
His attitude to his room may well be important

He hardly went into his bedroom? Is that what you are saying?

Where did he sleep?

Do you send him to his room as a punishment?

I'm sure I'll catch a lot of flak for this.....

He sleeps with me.

This is a looooong story but I'll try to make it quick:

When Mo first came to live here he wouldn't leave my side. I got in the habit of laying down with him until he went to sleep and then moving to my own bed.

Then Mo would wake up and sneak into our bed.

The Mr. B would wake up and move into Mo's bed.

Musical beds!

Finally we got things situated to resembling normal.

I don't know if I was just sleeping lighter or if Mr. B suddenly became a horrible snorer but I could never sleep the night through because of his snoring.

So I would wake up and go sleep on the sofa -- which wasn't very comfortable -- especially because it would wake up Mo and he would come sleep on the sofa.

Round and round and round.

Finally we decided we all just needed a good night's sleep so now Mo sleeps with me and Mr. B sleeps in Mo's room and we all rest.

One of the hopes behind moving the furniture was to get Mo to sleep in his own room. (Of course, now I'll have to do something about Mr. B's snoring.)

And yes, I have discussed this with both his doctor and mine and they assure us that whatever it takes for everyone to get a good night's sleep is all that really matters.

So the sleeping bit doesn't have anything to do with why he doesn't like his room.

And no, he is not sent to his room for punishment. Never. (This is another long story so let's just let it stay at that -- closing Mo off from the family is a really bad idea.)

I don't know what started the being afraid of his room but he hates to go in there. The only thing I can think of is that his overhead light shorted out a while back. It was repaired quickly without much fuss but the wires coming out of the ceiling seemed to freak him out.

Boomer your little guy has been through a lot and I would support you in whatever action you take. You are the one on the ground with the information skills and knowledge. You do whatever you see fit. We are just here to act as a sounding board, perhaps sometimes challenging the way you see things but only for the purpouse of providing an alternative way of thinking.
Your home, your family, you go for it.

In my home the kids rooms were a sanctuary for each, a place to go when you wanted to get away from it all.

hehe! I can just see you sneaking naughtily off to mr Bs bed for some lovin' (like a teenager who's boyfrind is staying over at your mom and dads house).

If you want mo to sleep in his new room you will need to be tough Just like with a puppy away from it's mom he isnt gonna like it. Get him to take ownership of his room, decorate and furnish it the way he wants (within reason). Encorage him to organise sleepovers at friends/relatives homes, go camping with just dad.

On the other hand, I think my own marriage finally failed on my snoring (asthma, oh, never mind) and going to the couch, and not for any other psychological, emotional, or intellectual reasons.

Watch where you put all your care. Distance matters (I don't care what who says.)

Thanks dadpad, for being understanding. A lot of people aren't. I don't really discuss the "co-sleeping" thing much because a lot of people get freaked out.

Unless their Asian and then they get freaked out that people don't do it.

Funny world.

Also funny.....

I am tempting Mo with the idea of a puppy who can sleep with him -- in his own bed only.

I want the room to be his sanctuary!

Everything is in transition right now. You know how it is when you clean out the closet and you have to make a big mess before you get it all sorted? That's my house right now.

I think you are building a deal here, re the bedrooms.

I'm surely not the one to advise.



To me, kiddo needs bed/weaning sooner. Sorry to be so bald -
You, and many of us, including me, are always accomodating his background. Do you want him to need that at 43? I know you don't, but
- move him out of that need right away - sooner than later.

OK, that's crisp, and I'm not sure I'm so right. But I think I am.

Ooopsie, you are building the bedrooms otherwise, and in a jolly way.

good then.

I feel that I'm only qualified to give advice on the snoring....

get ear plugs.
I used to be a light sleeper.
Then I lived with a snorer for 8 years. Got used to wearing ear plugs. (they are a bit weird to get used to at first, you gotta give them time) Don't live with the first snorer any longer, got me a new one that stays over on occasion..
anyways, I found that I get a much better night's rest with my plugs in.
So much that I can't sleep without them.