Why I am like this?

Learn how to make small talk. Yes, it may seem dumb, but it's what's called social lubricant. You can talk about heavier, more important stuff later. But you have to start with something.

So, grab your newspaper, whether tactile or online does not matter. Look for three interesting articles in different areas, e. g. one in sports, one in international news and one in human interest stories or whatever (not the weather). And read them. You don't have to memorize them. Just read them. Do this every day, and mix it up. Some days you might pick autos instead of international news, or gardening instead of sports or whatever. Just two rules to this game: always make the three articles come from different areas of the paper and do this every day. You don't even have to read the remainder of the paper -- you can line a bird cage with it if you wish.

Once you've done this for a while, you'll get the hang of it. And when you meet people, you'll have something to talk about. Such as (I am grabbing these from today's version of my online newspaper, The Boston Globe):

• The Globe mentioned the other day about rituals at work, how they build bonds between people. It wasn't just at work, but also in life itself, like singing a song with a child while she's getting dressed. Do you have any rituals like that?
  
• I read recently that South Boston is changing, that Columbus Avenue is getting a makeover. What do you think that will do to the character of the city?
  
• I read about this spa in Wisconsin recently.

The list isn't perfect, I just picked these up at random. Also, people don't really love talking politics and religion. Plus, these aren't necessarily good ice breakers. A standard ice breaker is to extend your hand. Say, "Hi, I'm ____", smile and shake hands, then say "Nice party." or "Pleased to meet you." or "What do you do?" or "How do you know the hostess?" But these little articles can move the conversation along after you've exhausted the ice breaker.

Another thing -- ask people what they think. Everyone loves that.

Just stay the way you are, and the way you are comfortable.
Friends and good people always look behind the shell, and all others...
...why should you care about what they think?

I suspect that if you were to take the Myers-Briggs, that you would be an introvert, which doesn't mean that you are shy in the traditional way of being shy, but that you need time to yourself and privacy.

I used to be quite shy. Decades later, I am hard to make keep quiet. Unless of course I get busy listening to others.

My shyness started to evaporate when I worked in a hospital as a teenager. Somehow, both things at once, I got more comfortable with myself, and more curious about others... curious enough to stop thinking about myself all the time and start asking with real interest how others were.

I don't mean that I suddenly became somehow noble, but I just gained avidity for the complexity of how people are, what they think. That interest at best has no boundaries, as human behavior stretches far and literature covers quite a bit of it.

But - I don't mean I started to think of people as curiosities. More that I just started to connect with them and wanted to know more - the more I understood, the more... I understood.

I don't think I've been really shy since, though Myer Briggs stats would probably chart me as a mess.

Quiet with an attitude?

Think Johnny Depp dear, and the ladies will be beating each other with sticks to get to you.

Jespah's advice may sound stupid but it's not bad. I used to have trouble coming up with anything to say too. It has nothing to do with "being yourself." The fact is, you can't make friends without talking to them and people get uncomfortable if you just stare at them. Keeping a mental list, or jotting down things as you think of them, is a good way to learn to become more comfortable. These topics don't have to come from a newspaper, it could be from anywhere in your life.

Er, thanks, I think. :wink:

And I agree, it need not be the newspaper (I was posting while just about ready to go offline and head to work), but the idea is to be a little bit prepared. I have been shy and I have been not shy in my life and I have found that a lack of preparation can really = fear. I'm not saying that every moment and every phrase has to be choreographed, rather, that if you are scared and you have nothing in your mind to say, then you'll just clam up, whereas if you have an idea or two, you can jump into conversations.

I think a lot of folks never really get how to break into a conversation/make small talk/make friends. It never starts out as deep or smart or super-meaningful. It starts with people asking each other what they do for a living or the like. You can get to Kirkegaard later.

Thanks to you all fro your replies. Its so good to hear those words. And I will try my best to follow the steps given by you.

But the main problem is that I am quite hesitant to talk to girls. I feel like if they misunderstands me and stuff.

Then talk to anyone, particularly people where it doesn't matter that much, where you've got nothing to lose. As in, say hi to the mailman and the greengrocer and the guy pumping your gas. Nothing much, just hi, how's the weather? This kind of practicing does help with some of the nervousness, as in, it takes some of the being oh so very fraught with meaning-ness out of it.

When you talk to girls, think about them, and not about yourself and your shyness. Try to focus on what you would like to know about them - where they're from, what they like, what they do for fun, what interests them, etc. If you keep your attention on them and try to forget about yourself more and really listen to what they say, sometimes you may find that talking to them is easier than you think.

Thanks for the advice. And its working.