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Worst pickup lines .... ever

 
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 10:23 am
Would you lend me a few bucks? I have to pick up some Viagra at the drugstore, and I'm a bit short.
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 10:40 am
My therapist says I should start dating again.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 11:59 am
I just got out of jail and haven't had a woman in a coupla years. Interested?
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 12:34 pm
Naw, I've known girls that line would work beautifully on.



You hear that, Mariah? I'm talking about you!
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 04:16 pm
You remind me of my mother.
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 04:43 pm
you remind me of my proctologist.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 05:11 pm
I'm having hot flashes, wanna see what they feel like up close and personal?
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 05:12 pm
Is that a real wart or are you wearing one of those 'beauty patches'?"
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 05:17 pm
I bet you're real hairy down there. What about it? Are you really hairy down there?
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 05:18 pm
Do you like Velveeta?
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 05:26 pm
I hope they have unisex toilets in this joint.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 07:28 pm
jespah wrote:
Do you like Velveeta?


Laughing ?? Laughing
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 07:30 pm
so I spose a root is out of the question?
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 08:04 pm
The wife's stepfather actually used something along those line's on her mother.

"Kiss me," says he.

"No," says she.

Says he, "Then I guess a blowjob's out of the question."

She left her husband for him, so there must have been something to it.
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 08:11 pm
patiodog wrote:
The wife's stepfather actually used something along those line's on her mother.

"Kiss me," says he.

"No," says she.

Says he, "Then I guess a blowjob's out of the question."

She left her husband for him, so there must have been something to it.

So, you know both Steve and June?
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 08:20 pm
My worst pick up line was back in "34, in Munich, when I spotted this fine-looking German broad walking down the street and I stopped her and said "Here...hold this."

Then I put my unit in her hand.

She stared down at her open palm and noticed the withered sausage beginning to twitch, almost as it was coming to life, and, for a brief moment there was a flash of excitement in her eyes and I thought there was a chance that we would fall together on the German sidewalk and couple in a frenzied manner, but then she snapped her hand away in disgust, shot me an evil look, her eyes blazing, and the slapped me fully across the face before she stormed off down the street.

I can still see the swishing of that skirt as she walked away, and I am still not certain, to this day, that that was not Calamity Jane.

Small world, eh?
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 08:24 pm
We just have different mating rituals, gustav. Next time, read a travel guide
before entering Germany.
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 08:28 pm
Yeah, and remember to have her use both hands.

Joe(easy now)Nation
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 08:36 pm
2 hands? Laughing

Calamity (how redundant) Jane
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Jan, 2007 08:41 pm
Two hands indeed. I am confident enough to say that my sausage would be handled with ease by Jane with one hand.

If Joe's required two hands I guess I would have to offer my sympathies to the New York boy, since a member of such prodigous size would, more often than not, be thrust away by enquiring lasses.
0 Replies
 
 

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