the art of sensual massage

It may have to do with her perception of "personal space". There are some people who are uncomfortable with another touching her body, especially if the person is a stranger.

When I was about 17, I fell into a great deal in an elegant massage facility on the upper east side of Manhattan. Absolutely first class. Maybe it was because I was a kid, but the whole thing freaked me out, and I could not wait until it was over.

I have thought about it, but to this day, have never gone for another massage.

I assume anyone includes you, Chumly. I can say that I'm the same way with the exception of someone that I'm otherwise intimate with. I've received a number of gift certificates for massages and they have all expired unused. Mutual massage with my partner, however, is an entirely different matter.

She does not like it when hairdressers do the scalp massage thingy either, or any other massage a by anyone professional or otherwise, but the fact that even in an intimate setting she hates it is kind'a sad. I spent many years getting good at it and integrating in into the before / during / after and now it's all for naught

Her approach towards intimacy is more like a light-switch than a dimmer, if you follow my drift of an Electrician-type analogy.

Bummer. Is this a new marriage? Or, did you not previously know this about her?

Some people just do not like to be touched. Period.

Leave it at that and be happy that she isn't suffering in silence while you rub her uncomfortable.

Nooooo! .....pass those over here, J!

We've been together for 10 years and sometimes I'm reminded of the things I've lost for things I've gained. Because she does not (cannot?) see massage in the same light I do, when she does it for me I can easily tell it's not in keep with the spirit, and it does not have the feedback / subtly I was once used to giving / receiving.
You're right about that but I'm kind'a left out of the loop compared to what I know and like. It's true she's not a super touchy-feely mush-ball girl, in fact she more of a hard-ass when all is said and done, and that can have it pluses; but not when it comes to sensual massages and the physical feedback loop.

Yipes! I can imagine what she'd say and how she'd react if I said "Sweetheart since you're not really into sensual massage, I'm sure you would not mind if I called up an old friend or two."