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Sat 6 Jan, 2007 05:45 pm
I walk into Larry's Lounge earlier today and saw Wally sitting alone at the end of the bar. It didn't surprise me to see the bar so empty, considering the time of the day, but it did surprise me to see Wally there, and more so because of the fact that he was obviously hammered.
Wally doesn't drink much, pretty much stays home with his wife and watches tv. I see the two of them around town on a fairly consistent basis and they've always seemed like a happy couple, but as I approached Wally I realized I hadn't seen much of her around lately and wondered if some sort of marital spat could be the cause of Wally's apparent misery.
I pulled up a chair next to him.
"What's up?", I asked.
Wally turned to me and stared at my visage through bloodshot eyes. It took him a few seconds to comprehend who had sidled up to him and when the realization finally came that it was Ratzenhofer, from the swamp, he began to talk.
"Gus, what is my name?"
"Um... that would be Wally."
"MY FULL GODDAMNED NAME, GUS!!"
His scream caught me off guard for a second and I tried to collect my thoughts. What in the name of god was upsetting him?
"Excuse me?", I offered.
"SAY MY FULL GODDAMNED NAME, RATZENHOFER!!! SAY IT OR I WILL KNOCK YOU OFF THAT FRIGGIN BAR STOOL!!"
I gulped and said, "Wally Tea."
"That's right, Gus. My name is Wally Tea. Now.... what is my wife's name?"
"Chai Tea. Everyone knows that."
Wally took a long pull on his beer and then slammed it on the bar. He looked at me and said, "Not any more, Gus. She aint Chai Tea anymore."
"What do you mean? What happened?"
"SHE DROPPED MY LAST NAME!! THE BITCH DROPPED MY NAME!! SHE CALLS HERSELF CHAI NOW!"
He then collapsed on the bar and started sobbing. I could barely make out his muffled words... "Not Chai Tea...sob sob...not Chai Tea...whimper, sniffle...only Chai....only Chai."
I put my arm around Wally and tried to console him, but he brusquely pushed me away and staggered out the back door and into his car. He sped off, swerving down the road, before I had a chance to stop him. I stood in the parking lot and stared at his departing car until it disappeared over the rise.
That damn fool is probably going to kill himself or get a DWI. I blame this on Chai. Why the hell did she have to drop her last name? All that Wally has done for her over the years and she treats him like this?
I'm not pleased with that woman right now and I don't believe any other member of A2K should be pleased with her either.
If you happen to run across Chai in the A2k halls, just look her square in the eyes and say, "Bitch."
Then... walk away.
Let's do this for Wally.
I heard chai tea was pissed cause Wally kept getting her confued with that bimbo Tai chi.
Often he would forget which one he was making love to and in the throws orgasmic extacy he would moan the wrong name.
Still I think changing your name over a trival matter such as that is a bit rich.
Bitch
What can I possibly add to this sad, sad story.
That Chai Tea would not only dump Wally, but that she would also put on her faux leather boots and walk over the dude as she was going out the door. That was uncalled for. And change her name.
There are many tough women on A2K. They can duke it out without backing up a step. I admire that.
I am a redneck farmer and Gus is a swampdweller. We are tough and we don't ask for much.
But some of us, I mean Wally, have fragile egos despite our tough exteriors. Be nice.
Chai Tea, please think about making things right.
Well, I heard that Tai Chi threatened her and blackmailed her and all around just made her life a living hell until Chai finally agreed to change her name! That Tai Chai-- I mean, Chia Tia-- crap. That T.C. chick, you know who I mean, she's a real psycho if you get on her bad side, and she will stop at nothing to get what she wants-- and it just so happened that this time she wanted a monopoly on the two-syllable, rhymes-with-hi-c names around here.
I mean, come on guys, you should get the full story before you just go jumping on Chai!
hey! I dont need any kind of story before I jump on chai!
I think I'll change my name to cypherchat. Yeah.... that would be cool.
oh god....
wally has been wandering around the house all day singing...
OH RUUUUUUUUUBY, DON'T TAKE YER LOVE TO TOWN....
He stinks of tequila and 2nd hand smoke.
I've gotta be me. I'm tired of the metal framer standing on the neck of the Chai Tea.
What's done is done.
He'll get over it. I made chili for dinner tonight, and he's already asked me where the cheddar cheese is.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:I think I'll change my name to cypherchat. Yeah.... that would be cool.
Actually, I would be
so honored, and everyone else would be horribly jealous of me! Yes, after careful consideration, you have my permission.
Chai, can I offer to make you Chai Nobody?
( I actually just clicked on to see if Cyperhcat had the balls to call Chai a bitch, I'm sure not going to do it.)
JLNobody wrote:Chai, can I offer to make you Chai Nobody?
It's the Julie Newmar/Catwoman outfit, isn't it?
That's it! I think I'll change my name to Chai Nemo
Green Witch wrote:( I actually just clicked on to see if Cyperhcat had the balls to call Chai a bitch, I'm sure not going to do it.)
Brr! I would never live so dangerously! You'll notice I wisely sucked up to Chai and picked on Tai instead.
I aint afraid of Chai.
Bitch.
Rejected again. No wonder they tell me I'm a Nobody.
hehe, If you don't have a program, you tend not to notice these little things like missing tea.
.....and a new avatar, too!
gustavratzenhofer wrote:I aint afraid of Chai.
Bitch.
I think its time to start selling tickets to
THIS thread..
Ooowaah my fellow men! Listen to that story an' tell me it aint so.
Listen, all you cats - I wont beat around the bush - my brother Wally, he's a good guy, but you know - he's too kind a man, too regular a man. I've always been the wild one in the family, and yeah its true, I will admit - theres been more than once a time, specially back in the wild, wild days, when I be finding out that a woman he was spending some time with needed some proper lovin' -- an' you know - that aint a service I'll ever withhold from a good lookin' mama.
So I wont be playin' the goody two shoes stand-by-your-man brother-in-law here. But THIS, I ask you - this is just more than a man should ever be asked to bear! It's an injustice, we're talking about, an inJUStice, that this woman has perpetrated upon my brother.
Ms Chai Tea - or "Chai" as you'd have it, you no-good straying woman - I aint ever told this to a woman - but - you a bitch, Chai Tea.
cyphercat wrote:Well, I heard that Tai Chi threatened her and blackmailed her and all around just made her life a living hell until Chai finally agreed to change her name! That Tai Chai-- I mean, Chia Tia-- crap. That T.C. chick, you know who I mean, she's a real psycho if you get on her bad side, and she will stop at nothing to get what she wants-- and it just so happened that this time she wanted a monopoly on the two-syllable, rhymes-with-hi-c names around here.
I mean, come on guys, you should get the full story before you just go jumping on Chai!
'Bout time I got the respect I deserve!
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