The Art of the Dinner Party

Even pro's get fooled by meat. Get a decent thermometer and use it. Utterly fool proof.
Now they even make wireless leave in versions that sound the alarm when done (or a few degrees shy of done if you're smart).

Soz, If you decide to go with the ham, what will you serve with it? Piffka suggested a mustard souffle. I'm entirely intimidated by such things.

I'm sure the folks here will have some suggestions. BTW, several years ago I bought some friends cranberry mustard. It was poifect with ham. Also, rattling around somewhere in the back of my mind is a recipe I made up for sweet potato casserole. If you're interested, I'll see if I can dust off the cobwebs and pull it together for you.

Have enough booze, and naked butlers. After that no one would care abt anything else....

There ya go...! :-)

Bill, I forgot to thank you for all of your very good (and knowledgable!) recommendations. I'm sure there are other people I've forgotten to thank too, this has gone fast and there is so much great stuff. (I showed it to E.G. last night and he asked how long it's been going and I said "one day!")

Definitely on line of sight. Typically I do very little on the table itself and it's more about surrounding ambiance plus nice dishes, placemats or tablecloths, and silverware. Decoration is the least of my worries, that I've got.

Piffka, my point was more about categorizing my anxiety -- I realized that when I've hosted Deaf social events (and I've done a lot of that, including professionally) I'm not anxious in the least. I know that I can communicate, and the rest falls into place. For some reason realizing that distinction helps a little. I'm not just being silly, I'm DEAF and being thrust into an impossible communication situation. (Difficulty increases exponentially with each additional guest.) I can still take a deep breath and face it, and I will, because the only way to make an impossible lipreading situation a possible one is to get to know the people involved.

Sozobe, I'm not sure what you mean about categorizing your anxiety.

I can barely imagine how hard it is to communicate when you're deaf and your guests aren't. Of course, you don't want to pull a "poor me" on them -- you want to look totally on top of it. (This is one of those "I can do it all" conundrums of modern American women. Is it really worth it?) How can you understand the table-talk when you have to look directly at each person in order to read their lips and people's conversation just isn't that neat.. one person will blurt out something amusing on the far side of the table. Then, everyone will laugh and you won't know what is going on. Would it be possible to have just two couples at a time over until you get to know them well enough that (I'm assuming) the lip-reading gets easier.

And... do you really want recipes? Do you have a dinner coming up?

I definitely want recipes!

I have nothing scheduled per se. I started this the day after going to yet another wonderful dinner and getting that sinking feeling when I realized I needed to reciprocate. These people keep inviting us back before we get our act together, I want to issue an invitation for this weekend or next.

Re: categorization, I was responding to "After a while, you just have to laugh off all the anxiety." I realized that really most of the anxiety was not about the food or the decorations or whatever, but about the difficulty of being a hostess to hearing people who don't sign.

Yes, lipreading gets easier as I get to know people better. That was the point Z part in a previous post. After I have spent a lot of time with people, I can usually communicate pretty easily, or at least have enough ground rules ("if you are talking to each other while I'm serving the soup I can't possibly follow so don't mind me and then fill me in when I'm done") that things go smoothly. The problem is that it takes a lot of time to get to that point, and if I'm just at point J, and need to get through points K through Y, it's a bit daunting.

That said, being on top of everything else will lessen the general anxiety level and allow me to put more energy into communicating, which is a good thing. The more relaxed I am, the better I am able to do my communication alchemy.

Tamales are best made when one has lots of help.

<the one time I made tamales, no help, they came out all masa harina with a small dry pellet inside...
A friend whose grandmother sold tamales on the street in downtown Los Angeles in the early 1900's was going to have us all over for a tamale making day before Christmas one year, but that never happened while I still lived there.
I can see it shouldn't be right up at the top of Sozobe's dinner party ideas..>

A staff member in L.A. made The. Best. Tamales. Ever. Gawd I miss 'em. (I miss her too of course...)

I'll bet these people who keep inviting you back really love having you come over and also they love having parties. Of course, they'd love to come to your house, too. Who wouldn't? Can you invite them plus one other wonderful couple and make it a small gathering?

Anyway... here's a recipe with my ideas for what would go well with it. My sister makes some gorgeous food... she used to cater in Seattle for the Symphony, etc. One of her best recipes ever was from The Silver Palate Cookbook (their first one, I think) on pg. 86. It's called Chicken Marbella and serves 10-12. Truly delicious and also magnificent looking with lots of warm color. The recipe (I've copied it below) says you can serve it warm or cold. My preference is definitely served warm and I'd use free-range chickens for the taste & cachet. The dish holds well in the oven and the chicken is great when it falls off the bone.

They suggest serving it with cheese straws, crudites, semolina bread & boucheron cheese with Lime Mousse and cookies for dessert.

I think I'd make Lime curd instead with meringues. That's so easy and there's less cream involved. If you wanted to go all out, you could make both Lemon and Lime Curd. They look pretty together (you might need a little food coloring or extra shaved peel for effect) and are fun to spoon onto plain cookies or meringues. Your guests can then make themselves useful during dessert.

I'd saute polenta rounds in half-butter/half-olive oil to go with. The pre-cooked kind that comes in a plastic tube are really okay but if you felt the need to cook more, you could do this way ahead of time, chill the mush in rolls and then slice. It's a bright-colored side dish, hearty enough to go with the olives and great for soaking up all the juices.

I'd also serve a green herb salad with red onion slivers and sliced oranges to continue the piquant & fruity theme. All you need is a fantastic hors d'oeurve, now. There's a Piffka menu for you. :wink:


Just in case the Chicken doesn't sound good.. that same cookbook has a recipe I do a couple of times a year -- Fruit-Stuffed Pork Loin. I usually use a couple of tenderloins instead of the whole loin. I slice one (which looks gorgeous with the fruit in the middle) and part of the other, leaving some of it whole as a sort of centerpiece on the platter. It is also kind of fun to stuff the tenderloin with alternating 1-2 apricots and 1-2 prunes, shoving them into the hole you make with a long wooden spoon. You could make this fun by having the Sozlet help you organize the dried fruit and hand it to you while you kept your hands "porky". If you need that recipe, just say.


Chicken Marbella
from the Silver Palate Cookbook (with a few Piffka notes)
"This was the first main-course to be offered at The Silver Palate, & the distinctive colors & flavors of the prunes, olives & capers have kept it a favorite. When prepared with small drumsticks & wings, it makes a delicious hors d'oeuvre."

"The overnight marinade is essential to the moistness of the finished product. The chicken keeps & even improves over several days (?) of refrigeration... travels well & makes an excellent picnic. It is given in quantity for 10-12 servings, but it can be divided successfully."

4 chickens, 2 1/2 lb. each, quartered ( my sis frequently used "parts" for ease in serving)
1 head of garlic, pureed (that's multiple cloves)
1/4 c dried oregano (even more if you use fresh... which I would)
coase salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1/2 c red wine vinegar (I could have sworn my sister used Marsala...)
1/2 c olive oil
1 c pitted prunes
1/2 c Spanish green olives
1/2 c capers with a bit of juice
6 bay leaves
1 c brown sugar
1 c white wine
1/4 c chopped parsley
Combine all ingredients except brown sugar and white wine, and marinate overnight.

Arrange chicken in pan in one layer, spoon marinade over.Sprinkle chicken pieces with brown sugar and pour white wine around them.(Maybe this is when the Marsala came in? I can call her if you want.)

Bake 50-60 min at 350 degrees, basting often. Chicken is done when thigh pieces, pricked with a fork will yield clear yellow, not pink, juice.

With slotted spoon, transfer chicken, prunes, olives & capers to a serving platter. Moisten with a few spoonfuls of pan juices (and you can hold this for up to 1/2 hour or so.) Here's the point where you can let E.G. take over while you enjoy a beauty bath.

Sprinkle generously with chopped parsley just before serving. Pass the remaining pan liquids in a sauceboat.

To serve cold, cool to room temperature in cooking juices before transferring to a serving platter. Cover & refrigerate. Allow it to return to room temperature before serving. Spoon some of the reserved juice over chicken and garnish with parsley.

Serves 10+ and the leftovers make great chicken salad and sandwiches.

Wonderful!

Hah, a second Silver Palate I citation!!

Which sounds wonderful... (I've not done the chicken marbella, though my copy of the book is crackly with food spots..)

I was minding my own business, browsing around the San Francisco Chronicle, and ran across this article on meatballs. It's one of a series of articles on foods that a lot of the world's cuisines have in common - in this case meatballs, in another article, sweet or savory crepes (or crepelike pancakes), another article, custards, and so on.

First there are paragraphs about meatballs, then some restaurants in SF that serve them, and then recipes....

Chronicle article on meatballs

Seems like meatballs would be a do-ahead item.

Mustard Mousse
Osso, of the three Silver Palate Cookbooks... the first is my fave, too.

Did I say Mustard Souffle? I meant Mustard Mousse... my friend makes this and it is delicious & light... really good with ham.

Mustard Mousse -- recipe #151512 from www.recipezaar.com
40 min, 20 min prep. / 8 servings = 4 cups

1 (1/4 oz) envelope unflavored gelatin
1/4 cup lemon juice
4 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
3 tablespoons dijon-style mustard
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup water
1/2 pint whipping cream, whipped
2 tablespoons parsley, chopped

Sprinkle the gelatin over the lemon juice and let it stand for about 5 minutes to soften.
In a medium-size saucepan whisk the eggs and add the sugar, mustard, salt, vinegar and water. Beat until well blended.
Add the softened gelatin mixture.
Place the saucepan over moderate heat and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture begins to thicken; do not allow the mixture to boil.
Refrigerate until the mixture is thickened and almost set, stirring occasionally with a rubber spatula to determine thickness (the mixture should make soft mounds when scooped up and dropped from the spatula). Meanwhile, oil a 4-cup mold and set it aside.
When the gelatin/mustard mixture has thickened, gently fold the whipped cream and parsley into the thickened mixture.
Pour the mousse into the prepared mold, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for several hours or overnight to set. May be refrigerated up to 3 days.
To unmold, run the tip of table knife around the edges of the mold, dip the bottom of the mold in warm water and invert onto a serving platter. Use a tupperware mold & it just slips right out.

Wow!

How do you serve it, exactly? Just dollops alongside the ham?

In its own dish... usually it holds the mold pretty well. You can also put it into individual ramekins & eliminate the fuss of unmolding it. It's pale yellow and looks nice with a few slivers of dried cherries or cranberries and some parsley as garnish.

Nobody actually takes more than a couple of tablespoons, so that 1/2 cup serving is not accurate. That recipe would easily be enough for 20-24.

I'm not going to dispute any of the excellent advice you've gotten already. I might even print this entire thread...some great recipes and ideas. I'll just add a little practical advice.

What you serve isn't that important. Make sure that the flavors compliment each other. If your serving something rich like ham, make usre to have a side dish that is a little acidic to balance it out. Like a vinegary chutney or something.

Before you're menu is set in stone, make sure that you have room in your oven for all the things you've planned. Likewise make sure you have all the pans and serving dishes you need. Borrow or rent any that you need.

Make no more than one dish that is complicated. Let it be the star and the rest of the meal the supporting cast. An rule number 1...never serve anything that you haven't made at least twice before. A dinner party is no time for experimentation unless they are very close friends.

Swimpy, the wise woman speaks.

Scratch woman and replace it with cooking-host.

Just a thought: You're at a university. I'm sure that some students would be happy to earn a few extra bucks. Would you consider hiring one to serve the dinner so that you could stay with your guests? This would give you the opportunity to relax a bit and not have to get up and down to remove dishes and serve the next course, so you could focus on the conversation.

You could have all the cooking done or mostly done ahead of time. You could meet with the server the day before to explain things. You could also write out instructions.

This may not be practical. Don't know. Like I said, just a thought.

BTW, when I was hosting dinner parties, I found something that helped me relax. A hostess gown. It may sound silly, but wearing that silk, flowing hostessy outfit gave me a grand hostessy feeling. I bet you'd look great in red.

I was always trying to change from my jeans...

sozobe in Red, sounds good.