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Urgent!! Is there any expression not standard in this...

 
 
rogergx
 
Reply Sat 30 Dec, 2006 08:38 pm
I have just wrote a questionnaire for my term paper and want to mail it to English Native speakers. Could you please tell me which sentences are not standard English and how to improve them? Your help is really appreciated. Thank you in advance.


"
This questionnaire is designed purely for a learning project. And there are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Your opinion is what is wanted. Please give an answer for all answers. If you change your mind about an answer, just cross it out and circle another. We'd really appreciate your kindness and help.

Demographic information:
Gender (circle): Male Female
Age group:10-19 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60 and above
Is English your First Language: Yes No
Next, you will read two situation descriptions, each followed by a conversation between two speakers. After reading through the dialogues, please complete a short questionnaire based on your native speaker's intuition.
Situation 1: You are reading a newspaper, while waiting for the school bus at the station in one university. At this time, a man with a pile of paper and a pen in hand walks up to you and says the following words. (Note: you know the bus won't come in another 8 minutes.)
Man: (speaks awkwardly with a STRONG Asian accent) Hello. (you look up.) This questio…questionnaire is TO know YOUR idea on a CONCERT. It WILL cost… eh…5 minute of YOU. DO this questionnaire…eh… FOR me, ok? (hands you the pen and a piece of paper)

Could you please tell us your feelings by answering the following questions?
1) Are you WILLING to help him, ON HEARING that? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm willing to.
2) Do you feel comfortable at these words? 1 No 2 Just ok 3 Yes
3) If there is anything that makes you feel that you are not willing to help, how much effect, do you think, could that factor (listed below) exert on your negative feeling?
1No effect 2a little effect 3Some effect 4Much effect 5Strong effect
A. His appearance 1 2 3 4 5
B. His nationality 1 2 3 4 5
C. Bus is coming soon 1 2 3 4 5
D. His Strong accent 1 2 3 4 5
E. His bad grammar 1 2 3 4 5
F. "I" am not easygoing 1 2 3 4 5
G. His sex (male) 1 2 3 4 5
H. "My" present mood 1 2 3 4 5
I. Didn't say "please" 1 2 3 4 5
J. His remarks are impolite 1 2 3 4 5
K. English not fluent 1 2 3 4 5
L. No interest in the concert 1 2 3 4 5
M. Disturb my reading 1 2 3 4 5
N. Sounds like a command 1 2 3 4 5
O. Sounds his English is bad 1 2 3 4 5




Situation 2: Supposing that you work in the personnel department and are busy with quarterly staff appraisal things, a man knocks at your door and comes in.
Man: (speaks awkwardly with a STRONG Asian accent) I am Leo Chou from…eh…finance department. Now, I need the exact work title of an apprentice, named William Burns. He work for us last summer. And I also need to know which department he worked. (Note: you keep a record of all these information.)

Could you please tell us your feelings after listening to the previous words by answering the following questions?
4) Are you WILLING to help him, ON HEARING that? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm willing to.
5) Do you feel comfortable at these words? 1 No 2 Just ok 3 Yes
6) If there is anything that makes you feel that you are not willing to help, how much effect, do you think, could that factor (listed below) exert on your negative feeling?

7) If in the first situation, the man says in standard and fluent English, what's your rating then?
Will you help? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm still willing to.
8) If in the second situation, the man says in standard and fluent English, what's your rating then?
Will you help? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm still willing to.
9) When you hear an impolite request, do you think you will feel better (or forgive him/her) if it is a foreigner who says so rather than a native speaker?
I feel (1 even worse 2 the same 3 better)

Thank you so much for your time and help!!
"

OVER

Thank you again :)
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Dec, 2006 08:51 am
Re: Urgent!! Is there any expression not standard in this..
I'll point out in red if there's a problem.

rogergx wrote:
I have just wrote a questionnaire for my term paper and want to mail it to English Native speakers. Could you please tell me which sentences are not standard English and how to improve them? Your help is really appreciated. Thank you in advance.


"
This questionnaire is designed purely for a learning (the word you want is education) project. And there are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Your opinion is what is (you don't need the words "what is") wanted. Please give an answer for all answers. If you change your mind about an answer, just cross it out and circle another. We'd (you don't need the 'd part, which implies the word "would". You already appreciate them. Smile) really appreciate your kindness and help.

Demographic information:
Gender (circle): Male Female
Age group:10-19 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60 and above
Is English your First Language: Yes No
Next, you will read two situation descriptions, each followed by a conversation between two speakers. After reading through the dialogues (I think the term is awkward, you already called it a situation. I realize you are talking about the coversation. Maybe just call it the conversation?), please complete a short questionnaire based on your native speaker's intuition.
Situation 1: You are reading a newspaper, while waiting for the school bus at the station in one university. At this time, a man with a pile of paper and a pen in hand walks up to you and says the following words. (Note: you know the bus won't come in another 8 minutes.)
Man: (speaks awkwardly with a STRONG Asian accent) Hello. (you look up.) This questio…questionnaire is TO know YOUR idea on a CONCERT. It WILL cost… eh…5 minute of YOU. DO this questionnaire…eh… FOR me, ok? (hands you the pen and a piece of paper)

Could you please tell us your feelings by answering the following questions?
1) Are you WILLING to help him, ON HEARING that? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm willing to. (you can eliminate the word "to" from both answers)
2) Do you feel comfortable at these words? (eliminate the words "at these words" and change to "with this exchange". That covers not just the words but also the situation between the two persons) 1 No 2 Just ok 3 Yes
3) If there is anything that makes you feel that you are not willing to help, how much effect, do you think, could that factor (listed below) exert on your negative feeling? (eliminate the term "do you think" as that is understood, change the word "exert" to "impact")
1No effect 2a little effect 3Some effect 4Much effect 5Strong effect
A. His appearance 1 2 3 4 5
B. His nationality 1 2 3 4 5
C. Bus is coming soon 1 2 3 4 5
D. His Strong accent 1 2 3 4 5
E. His bad grammar 1 2 3 4 5
F. "I" am not easygoing 1 2 3 4 5
G. His sex (male) 1 2 3 4 5
H. "My" present mood 1 2 3 4 5
I. Didn't say "please" 1 2 3 4 5
J. His remarks are impolite 1 2 3 4 5
K. English not fluent 1 2 3 4 5
L. No interest in the concert 1 2 3 4 5
M. Disturb my reading 1 2 3 4 5 (disturbed)
N. Sounds like a command 1 2 3 4 5
O. Sounds his English is bad 1 2 3 4 5 (sounds like his English is poor)




Situation 2: Supposing that you work in the personnel department and are busy with quarterly staff appraisal things, a man knocks at your door and comes in.
Man: (speaks awkwardly with a STRONG Asian accent) I am Leo Chou from…eh…finance department. Now, I need the exact work title of an apprentice, named William Burns. He work for us last summer. And I also need to know which department he worked. (Note: you keep a record of all these information.)

Could you please tell us your feelings after listening to the previous words by answering the following questions?
4) Are you WILLING to help him, ON HEARING that? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm willing to. (again, eliminate the word "to" from both answers)
5) Do you feel comfortable at these words? (again, eliminate the words "at these words" and change to "with this exchange". That covers not just the words but also the situation between the two persons) 1 No 2 Just ok 3 Yes
6) If there is anything that makes you feel that you are not willing to help, how much effect, do you think, could that factor (listed below) exert on your negative feeling? (see above when I answered this for the first scenario you presented)

7) If in the first situation, the man says in standard and fluent English, what's your rating then? (eliminate the word "to" from the answers)
Will you help? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm still willing to.
8) If in the second situation, the man says in standard and fluent English, what's your rating then? (eliminate the word "to" from the answers)
Will you help? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm still willing to.
9) When you hear an impolite request, do you think you will feel better (or forgive him/her) if it is a foreigner who says so rather than a native speaker?
I feel (1 even worse 2 the same 3 better) (you're using parentheses here and not elsewhere in the questionnaire; you probably want to be consistent with this)

Thank you so much for your time and help!!
"

OVER

Thank you again :)


Also, for the second scenario, you might want to add something about whether the questioner is an employee of the company and/or has the authority to ask for that information. In the US, there is an issue with identity theft and it's probably against most companies' rules (if not downright illegal) to provide that information to just anyone.

Very good start. Smile
0 Replies
 
rogergx
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Jan, 2007 05:05 am
jespah , thank you.
Thank you so much for the detailed correction.
0 Replies
 
Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Jan, 2007 06:02 am
Re: Urgent!! Is there any expression not standard in this..
I'M MAKING A FEW ADDITIONAL CHANGES. MY CHANGES ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS.


jespah wrote:
I'll point out in red if there's a problem.

rogergx wrote:
I have just wrote a questionnaire for my term paper and want to mail it to English Native speakers. Could you please tell me which sentences are not standard English and how to improve them? Your help is really appreciated. Thank you in advance.


"
This questionnaire is designed purely for a learning (the word you want is education) project. And there are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Your opinion is what is (you don't need the words "what is") wanted. Please give an answer for all THE QUESTIONS (DELETE ANSWERS). If you change your mind about an answer, just cross it out and circle another. We'd (you don't need the 'd part, which implies the word "would". You already appreciate them. Smile) really appreciate your kindness and help.

Demographic information:
Gender (circle): Male Female
Age group:10-19 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60 and above
Is English your First Language(NO CAPITAL LETTERS FOR FIRST LANGUAGE): Yes No
Next, you will read two situation descriptions, each followed by a conversation between two speakers. After reading through the dialogues (I think the term is awkward, you already called it a situation. I realize you are talking about the coversation. Maybe just call it the conversation?), please complete a short questionnaire based on your native speaker's intuition.
Situation 1: You are reading a newspaper, while waiting for the school bus at the station in(CHANGE IN TO AT) one university. At this time, a man with a pile of paper and a pen in hand walks up to you and says the following words. (Note: you know the bus won't come in (CHANGE IN TO FOR) another 8 minutes.)
Man: (speaks awkwardly with a STRONG Asian accent) Hello. (you look up.) This questio…questionnaire is TO know YOUR idea on a CONCERT. It WILL cost… eh…5 minute of YOU. DO this questionnaire…eh… FOR me, ok? (hands you the pen and a piece of paper)

START WITH Please tell us your feelings by answering the following questions?CHANGE QUESTION MARK TO COLON
1) Are you WILLING to help him, ON HEARING that? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm willing to. (you can eliminate the word "to" from both answers)
2) Do you feel comfortable at these words? (eliminate the words "at these words" and change to "with this exchange". That covers not just the words but also the situation between the two persons) 1 No 2 Just ok 3 Yes
3) If there is anything that makes you feel that you are not willing to help, how much effect, do you think,DELETE COMMA could that factor (listed below) exert on your negative feeling? (eliminate the term "do you think" as that is understood, change the word "exert" to "impact")I DISAGREE. CHANGE EXERT TO AFFECT.
1No effect 2a DELETE A, MAKE CAPITAL L IN LITTLElittle effect 3Some effect 4Much effect 5Strong effect
A. His appearance 1 2 3 4 5
B. His nationality 1 2 3 4 5
C. Bus is coming soon 1 2 3 4 5
D. His Strong LOWERCASE S IN STRONGaccent 1 2 3 4 5
E. His bad grammar 1 2 3 4 5
F. "I" am not easygoing DELETE QUOTATION MARKS FROM I 1 2 3 4 5
G. His sex (male) 1 2 3 4 5
H. "My" present moodDELETE QUOTES FROM MY 1 2 3 4 5
I. Didn't say "please" 1 2 3 4 5
J. His remarks are impolite 1 2 3 4 5
K. English not fluent 1 2 3 4 5
L. No interest in the concert 1 2 3 4 5
M. Disturb my reading 1 2 3 4 5 (disturbed)
N. Sounds like a command 1 2 3 4 5
O. Sounds his English is bad 1 2 3 4 5 (sounds like his English is poor)




Situation 2: SupposingCHANGE SUPPOSING TO SUPPOSE that you work in the personnel department and are busy with quarterly staff appraisal things,PERIOD. NO COMMA. START NEW SENTENCE a man knocks at your door and comes in.
Man: (speaks awkwardly with a STRONG Asian accent) I am Leo Chou from…eh…finance department. Now, I need the exact work title of an apprentice, named William Burns. He work for us last summer. And I also need to know which department he worked. (Note: you keep a record of all these CHANGE THESE TO THISinformation.)

Could you please tell us your feelings after listening to the previous words CHANGE WORDS TO CONVERATIONby answering the following questions?
4) Are you WILLING to help him, ON HEARING that? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm willing to. (again, eliminate the word "to" from both answers)
5) Do you feel comfortable at these words? (again, eliminate the words "at these words" and change to "with this exchange". That covers not just the words but also the situation between the two persons) 1 No 2 Just ok 3 Yes
6) If there is anything that makes you feel that you are not willing to help, how much effect, DELETE COMMA AFTER EFFECTdo you think, could that factor (listed below) exert on your negative feeling? (see above when I answered this for the first scenario you presented)

7) If in the first situation, the man says in standard and fluent English, what's your rating then? (eliminate the word "to" from the answers)
Will you help? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm still willing to.
8) If in the second situation, the man says in standard and fluent English, what's your rating then? (eliminate the word "to" from the answers)
Will you help? 1 Not willing to. 2 I'm still willing to.
9) When you hear an impolite request, do you think you will feel better (or forgive him/her) if it is a foreigner who DELETE SAYS SO. CHANGE TO IS SPEAKING says so rather than a native speaker?
I feel (1 even worse 2 the same 3 better) (you're using parentheses here and not elsewhere in the questionnaire; you probably want to be consistent with this)

Thank you so much for your time and help!!
"

OVER

Thank you again :)


Also, for the second scenario, you might want to add something about whether the questioner is an employee of the company and/or has the authority to ask for that information. In the US, there is an issue with identity theft and it's probably against most companies' rules (if not downright illegal) to provide that information to just anyone.

Very good start. Smile
0 Replies
 
 

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