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Sun 17 Dec, 2006 03:55 am
I'm a 20-year-old student. After meeting this girl a few times, last week I asked her out for a drink, which is something I've never done before. Then a few days later we went to the pub, and it was alright but we're both very shy and there were quite a few awkward silences. But she hugged me at the end of the night and said she had a good time.
It's the christmas holidays now so we're both going home for three weeks, which is quite annoying. Basically, I'm a complete beginner at this whole thing, and I'm wondering if anyone has some general advice they can give me on what to do next, whether I should text her over the holidays, how to ask her out a second time, where to go, etc. I really like her and I want to be her boyfriend... what's the next step?
txt her everyday. Without fail!
Find a public celebration for New Year's Eve and invite her to it. If you feel terribly awkward about being alone on a date with her, invite another couple and double date. You could go out to dinner before midnight and then wander down to the park or pub to participate in the count down festivities. It's a good way to break the ice and get that first kiss out of the way at midnight.
dadpad wrote:txt her everyday. Without fail!
No.
Butrflynet wrote:Find a public celebration for New Year's Eve and invite her to it. If you feel terribly awkward about being alone on a date with her, invite another couple and double date. You could go out to dinner before midnight and then wander down to the park or pub to participate in the count down festivities. It's a good way to break the ice and get that first kiss out of the way at midnight.
Thanks for the suggestion, but we're going to be in different cities on new year's eve. I don't really know her well enough to go and visit her or invite her to my hometown. The earliest I can see her is in three weeks when we're both back at university.
How about arranging to have a telephone date on New Year's Eve then?
You could call her a few minutes before midnight and share the fun together, even if it is just watching the same music celebration on TV and talking about it on the phone with her.
Butrflynet wrote:How about arranging to have a telephone date on New Year's Eve then?
You could call her a few minutes before midnight and share the fun together, even if it is just watching the same music celebration on TV and talking about it on the phone with her.
Urm, I dunno that seems a bit... strange. I'm not sure I have the balls for a phone conversation yet. I'm thinking text messages over the holidays... how many, when, and what should they say?
Say "I don't have the balls for a phone conversation yet and I don't know you well enough to invite you out for New Year's Eve, so I'm reduced to these silly text messages. "
As to how many, someone earlier suggested one a day.
Is there time before the holidays to go for coffee or a drink?
Give her a call - and let her know you'd like to see her again before the break.
If there is time for tea/coffee/bevvie, let her know that you're looking forward to seeing her afterward - make a plan to see her on your return.
Let her know you'd like to stay in touch over the holidays.
Expressed interest (without being obsessive about it) can be very flattering.
~~~~~
One date is likely a bit soon for anyone to be making a boyfriend/girlfriend decision - but it's a good step toward getting to know each other better.
dadpad wrote:txt her everyday. Without fail!
How to lose a girl's interest in 30 seconds by dadpad.
I'd give her a call a week or so before heading back to school, just to quickly say hello, and mention you had fun hanging out with her. Tell her you'll call her back when you go back to school, and that you'll have to go out for a drink again. Try not to stay on the phone with her for too long to avoid a boring conversation.
Keep it casual, don't go talking about being boyfriend/girlfriend. To her or yourself. Slow your roll. Just have fun, get to know her, and don't delay making a move on her....avoid falling into the "friend zone."
Well, Slappy does give good advice at times - surprise, surprise!
agrote, just keep it as casual and natural as possible, and if you think
she is interested in more, then make your move.
Thanks, Slappy and Jane. Reassuring comments.
Listen to Slappy. A hug goodnight is indicative of absolutely nothing, so don't start thinking you have a relationship already; you don't. Dadpad was no doubt kidding with you. If you haven't been talking on the phone, and don't plan it; you are basically starting from scratch. I'd get some more irons in the fire if I were you. You sound like you're on the verge of over thinking this... and setting yourself up for disappointment. If you chase too hard; she'll run. Count on it.
I'm not sure about this. I think that you should make some sort of little gesture to get her thinking about things over the holidays.
Maybe a small gift that you give her just as she's going home, or a card with a short note from you letting her know that you enjoyed your date, and look forward to seeing her in the new year.
However modern and cool we like to think we are, there's always room for a little romance and intrigue.
OCCOM BILL wrote:don't start thinking you have a relationship already
I'm not thinking that. I'm not a complete idiot...
Quote:......or a card with a short note from you letting her know that you enjoyed your date, and look forward to seeing her in the new year.
I like the idea of a card, that would be very thoughtful.
I like the Christmas card idea, as that would be a pretty unique gesture from a man. "Hey Darlin, I just wanted to let you know I had fun the other night and wish you a Merry Christmas.
Regards, Agrote"
It's casual, non threatening, and damn near demands recognition. I like it.
A gift on the other hand would be inappropriate to the point of being indicative of desperation. Not the message you want to send.
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