Guess who's coming to Sri Maha Shivaratri.

Reply Wed 13 Dec, 2006 09:06 pm
(Please forgive me if I have the title screwed up.)

I want to ask an delicate question -- how is interracial/interfaith marriage viewed around the world?

I started thinking about this while cooking dinner tonight and realized that I really just don't know and I'm curious.

Would you be upset if your child married outside their race or faith?

Within your culture is this acceptable?
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Reply Wed 13 Dec, 2006 09:15 pm
I'm not sure why you would consider that a delicate question but I'm sure you must have your reasons.
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Reply Wed 13 Dec, 2006 09:28 pm
delicate questiion;

So there I was in Ron's last night, enjoying a pint or six, when Dirty Dave sidled up beside me.

"So, how's it going, Twenty?"

"Fine, Dave."

"Good. Good. I'm fine too."

"Glad to hear it."

"Well, I'm not really that fine."

"Sorry to hear that, Dave. Anyway, I must be off...."

"No! Wait. Erm...I have a question."

"It's not a stupid question, is it? Like 'Why wouldn't that black woman go out with me after I gave her a lovely golliwog as a present?'"

"No, nothing like that."

"You're sure?"


"Ok then. Spit it out."

"Erm, it's a little bit sensitive and I'm kind of embarrassed."

"Must be off."

"Wait. Fair enough", he lowered his voice to a whisper. "Did your wee ever come out in two different directions, Twenty?"

"Of course it did, Dirty Dave. Sometimes first thing in the morning it does that when a bit of bed fluff gets down your Jap's eye or after sex when the inside of your mickey is still a bit spunky."

"But not all the time, like?"

"No, not all the time."

"Oh. See, this happens on the time to me now. One stream goes into the toilet bowl and the other shoots left or right. Once it even shot straight up in the air and hit me in the eye. Have you ever pissed in your own eye, Twenty?"

"Of all the questions you've asked me over the years, Dirty Dave, that has to be one of the oddest."

"I'm a bit worried. What if there's something growing in my shaft that's making the wee come out in different directions? And I had a bit of a five-knuckle shuffle earlier and I think the man paste came out in different directions too. Does that mean I'm bisexual now?"

"It's possible. Now that you mention all this I do remember reading that if your piss comes out in two different directions (except for fluff and post-sex) it's a symptom of the plague."

"The plague? But I haven't been near any Romanians. Couldn't I just be an abmi-wee-er?"

"I'd get myself off to the doctor if I was you, Dirty Dave. Let him get a camera down there and take a look."

"How would you fit a camera down there?"

"Just go to the doctor."
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Reply Wed 13 Dec, 2006 09:50 pm
No dramas usually in Oz with the anglo saxon type aussie boomer. It may be a generalisation however I have the impression that interracial/faith relationships are more frowned upon by first gen immigrants of some cultural minorities here ie asian greek/italian. other european minorities. Their daughters are supposed to marry a "nice italian/vietnamese/polish (etc) boy"

The kids dont give a hoot their just in love.
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Reply Wed 13 Dec, 2006 10:11 pm
Thank you dadpad.

Hurumph everyone else!

I do think it is a delicate question -- one that people have a hard time thinking hard about.

I was thinking of it today because Mo is crushing on this wonderful little girl, "the most beautiful and cutest girl in the whole world", from India. His crush made me think about one of my very favorite clients ever at the photo studio: this gorgeous doctor who was having photos taken so that his parents could arrange his marriage.

The Doctor and his parents came into the studio a few weeks after THE 9/11. It was his parents first journey out of the house since then -- they were terrified of being thought terrorists. I talked to the family for hours.

As I thought about Mo's crush and how cute I thought it was I realized that her parents might perhaps not think it "cute" at all.

Or maybe they would.

I don't know.

That's why I'm asking.

I have attended a Jewish/Krishna wedding. I have known many interfaith and interracial couples. In America it is not uncommon but I know that within some families/communities/groups/faiths/races it is still not "okay".

So I'm just wondering.....

.... if people will talk about it.
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Reply Wed 13 Dec, 2006 11:02 pm
As I thought about Mo's crush and how cute I thought it was I realized that her parents might perhaps not think it "cute" at all.
Or maybe they would.
I don't know.
That's why I'm asking.

Boomer! They Are what 6? get real. you think too much. enjoy.
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Reply Thu 14 Dec, 2006 06:03 am
My son, who was born Jewish, and was raised agnostic, just married a southern Christian. She is not terribly religious, and is not a church goer, although she believes. I think that the marriage was the best thing to happen to him.

His first wife was Catholic. It wasn't the religion that bothered me, it was her craziness.
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Reply Thu 14 Dec, 2006 06:34 am
personally i'm against marriage in principle, and have little use for faith (religion)

that being said i have no problem with inter faith/race dating/marriage

but in the wider world, it's probably safe to assume it's a sore spot

i fear that many people who say they have no problem with it, have never had to face the prospect

the old, some of my best friends are.........

yes but they're not your daughter/son in-law

in some ways, the faith problem may be the toughest, especially among the less diverse faiths, christianity has gotten pretty watered down, catholics are pretty much the last bastion of we're the one, alot of other christian faiths are more homogenous, the ever "i got to a christian church" as opposed to a name brand church

faiths like islam and judaism are more likely be problems (from both sides)
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Reply Thu 14 Dec, 2006 07:46 am
Oh I'm not really worried about how Mo's crush's family would react it is only what got the ball rolling in my head.

It's easy to be a member of my family - we welcome everyone. The latest addition is my Iraqi, Catholic, nephew in law.

An article in my paper last week discussed the fact that Latinas are now starting to view placing their children for adoption as an option - up to three a year are now being handled by the city's largest agency. Three shows a trend. Three. Adoption is basically unheard of, culturally speaking, among Hispanic families.

And I think about the handsome, funny, doctor who could have had women lining up to date him letting his parents arrange his marriage because that's just the way it's done.
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Reply Thu 14 Dec, 2006 07:55 am
As my mum used to say "if there were more mixed marriages there would be fewer mixed marriages." Which is to say we are all just human beans under our skins.
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Reply Thu 14 Dec, 2006 08:30 am
On the other hand; I have dear friends who are catholic and their son married a mormon lady. they have several children but, as I understand it, the mormon church disallows non mormons from attending "family nights" which are pretty much every night of the week so that the father (catholic) much has to convert to mormonism in order to have any contact with his wife and children.
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Reply Fri 15 Dec, 2006 02:27 am
I'm an Indian...I don't have kids..but if i did i'd be fine with interracial marriages.

In general though, within India, even inter-caste-marriages can cause a flutter!
But expats - especially those with children who were born and bred in the US are (from what I've seen) resigned to having less control over whom their children marry Smile....

My cousin, who was born and bred in the US lives in with her American boyfriend....we all knew about it...and her parents are fine with it.
But when she came here, shw wanted to stay with her boyfriend in my granma's place - that caused quite a flutter!! Eventually, they did stay in my granma's place and everybody got on very well....
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Reply Fri 15 Dec, 2006 12:47 pm
The first interfaith marriage in my family caused quite a stir (and a rift that lasted twenty years). The second one (the other side of the family) also caused a stir but was ultimately accepted with no breaking of family ties. But by the third and fourth, the matter was hardly discussed. People learned to accept.

My friend's husband was crazed when his sister became engaged to an African American. The husband calmed down and accepts and welcomes the fiance and his family.

I think that such things can be a jolt to people's expectations and desires for those they care about.

On the other hand, there are plenty of people who don't care at all. And plenty who would probably have a fit and remain upset. I guess it boils down to a individual thing in this country.
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