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Wed 22 Nov, 2006 03:47 am
And its not, how do I get more?
I've always been interested in porn, and not just the pictures, but the industry and other people's interest in it. I'm facinated by the variety and the way in which some people relate to it. The whole area of censorship is one that intrigues me, pressing my curiousity. And, yes, I do find some porn more interesting than others.
Which I think is my problem. My nosing around, if you excuse the expression, has exposed me to some fairly unsavoury, possibly illegal, images and I have found some of them to be arousing. I have also found myself revisiting websites with such images and looking for more, in fact the last six months has been a journey into tastelessness pressing the boundaries of human calousness. It gave me sleepless nights, and made me a nervous person.
I've started to come through the other side - when I see such images I'm no longer aroused and now have what might be considered to be the more-normal feelings of sympathy. So why write here?
I'm still a curious person and society's use and view of porn still interests me - I'm looking for hints, tips, tales from others of their encounters with porn problems and how they were dealt with, so that I can continue to help myself out of this.
Also, I'm married, have been for 9 years, and have kept this from my wife. Yes, I do feel guilty, and have felt quite alone. When I realised I might have a problem, I didn't have a clue who to turn to. I felt uneasy about just rolling up to a therapist and saying, "Hi, I have a problem with weird porn." Our sex life is great and this has not got in the way of us as a couple - I've hid it well.
I need to stop hiding.
If you've read this far - thanks - just writing that has been cathartic, but I am geniunely interested in any views you might have.
Cheers.
Hi imapom,
I read your post and wondered what, if anything, I could write back. But I can't relate to your curiosity from a man's perspective so I've drawn a blank there so to speak.
My first thought was that there probably isn't a therapist on earth who hasn't heard a story similar to your own.
Your statement about needing to 'stop hiding' is a bold one but IMO these are just words. I believe that words only have meanginful value when backed up by action in alignment with those words. Action which confirms intent.
Consider this - what would you be prepared to do in order to 'stop hiding' - what action would that actually require of you? ... what would be the likely consequences of those actions ... who do you need to 'stop hiding' from?
In all honesty, I am probably not the right person to ask such questions as my history is peppered with partners who have hidden porn from me but I am just posing these questions to give you something to think about. That afterall, seem to be the reason why you posted here in the first place
cheers,
jazzie
I think this might be an interesting discussion.
I, however, will be staying out of it, as I turned a smidge bitchy in the last porn thread... <grin>
Ummmm ... stating the obvious, I know, but ... so many views and yet so few replies? What's the go??
jazzie
Sorry I've not been around to check my own topic! Part of my self-imposed 'therapy' is to limit the opportunities, and that includes the internet.
I've checked some of the previous threads on this subject, and whilst some might turn out to be a bit bitchy, I'm generally interested in ways to help myself. I know I can sort myself out - in the last three years I've cut my alcohol intake by 70% (and it was pretty high before) and quit smoking.
However, I've had a couple of relapses - though promisingly, and I mean this in a wider sense, I've noticed that I'm really not interested any more - which means it is out of habit.
As for the previous comment about not hiding any more - that was as much a reference to myself than anything/one else. I needed to metaphorically get out and look at me and what I'm doing.
I don't expect many people to understand, and that probably goes for men as well as women, but I am grateful for the questions posed - they do make me think, and that is what I need. Thanks.
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