0
   

Happy 100th to Mr Gustavus Ratzenhofer!

 
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 11:37 am
I'm now looking forward to my 100th, because of dag's Dagmaraka Entertatainment and Escort Servicese, Ltd.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 11:41 am
cicerone, don't forget the disclaimer though: appearances might vary.
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 11:41 am
At 100, my eyesight and hearing will be so bad, that'll be the least of my problems! Rolling Eyes
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 12:41 pm
I'm getting a little worried about Gus's hearing these days. Ran into him the other day while crossing the swamp and he was bragging about his brand new hearing aid. So I asked him what kind is it. He looked at his wrist and said, "About 3:15."

Speaking of Gus, where IS the birthday boy?
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 01:44 pm
When I saw gus last, I asked him "what time?" and he took off his hearing aid.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 03:32 pm
I experienced a similar problem when I asked him if he could have a look at my clock, and fiddle with it as required, until it worked properly.
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 08:41 pm
Geez, 100 spankings for Gus, how will my little hand survive that?
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 08:44 pm
Let me worry about that, littlek.

Please.... begin.
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 09:05 pm
Happy Birthday Gus!

Oh jesus, I forgot to get you a gift. Okay, how about this? I will make out with littlek in front of you for one full minute. But not a second more, old man!!!
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 09:06 pm
My grandma will be 102 in January. Can she still take advantage of Dagmaraka Entertatainment and Escort Service, Ltd.?
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 10:20 pm
Gus and his brothers gather after Sunday dinner for a sing-a-long.
http://butrfly.net/Albums/MiscellaneousGoodies/Images/oldfarts.jpg_tn.jpg


Quote:
How do I know my youth is all spent?
My get up and go has got up and went
But in spite of it all I'm able to grin
And think of the places my get up has been.

Old age is golden so I've heard said
But sometimes I wonder as I crawl into bed
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup
My eyes on the table until I wake up.
As sleep dims my vision I say to myself:
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?
But though nations are warring and business is vexed
I'll stick around to see what happens next.

When I was young my slippers were red,
I could kick up my heels right over my head.
When I was older my slippers were blue,
But still I could dance the whole night thru.
Now I am older my slippers are black,
I huff to the store and I puff my way back.
But never you laugh; I don't mind at all,
I'd rather be huffing than not puff at all.

I get up each morning and dust off my wits
Open the paper and read the obits
If I'm not there I know I'm not dead
So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

Words collected, adapted and set to original music by Pete Seeger (1960)



After dinner they crack open Grampa James' diary for the annual reading and health checkup.

http://butrfly.net/Albums/MiscellaneousGoodies/Images/james-dean-old-age.jpg_fl.jpg

Chapter One:

http://butrfly.net/Albums/MiscellaneousGoodies/Images/oldwisdom.jpg_fl.jpg


Chapter Two:

http://butrfly.net/Albums/MiscellaneousGoodies/Images/old_fart.jpg_fl.jpg

On the count of three, they all shouted"

"Happy birthday, Gus!"

To which Gus quickly retorte:


http://butrfly.net/Albums/MiscellaneousGoodies/Images/Mr.jpg_fl.jpg
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Nov, 2006 06:12 am
Lord Ellpus wrote:
I experienced a similar problem when I asked him if he could have a look at my clock, and fiddle with it as required, until it worked properly.


And what about Miss Stella Gatesworth of Nelogony, Oklahoma, a new pet owner, who asked Gus if he would like to pet her kitties?

That turned into quite a wrestling match.

Joe(I have a photograph)Nation
0 Replies
 
wandeljw
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Nov, 2006 06:58 am
These stories remind me of the time Gustav's brother noticed something strange in Gustav's ear. The brother pulled it out and said "Gus! You had a suppository in your ear!"

Gus replied, "Thanks! Now I know where I put my hearing aid."

(Sorry about that. I thought this was the "tell a bad joke" thread.)
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Nov, 2006 01:24 pm
Wandel, And that was really "bad!" Laughing
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Nov, 2006 06:13 pm
I think the story, as good jokes do, contains a ring of truth.

Did anyone watch as Gus removed and replaced his hearing aid?

Joe(can you hear me now?)Nation
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Nov, 2006 07:01 pm
huh?
0 Replies
 
 

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