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Why did the chicken cross the road?

 
 
Treya
 
Reply Thu 16 Nov, 2006 05:51 pm
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN : We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: That chicken crossed the road because he wanted to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.

I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."

That's why they call it the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^( C \..... reboot .

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 682 • Replies: 6
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cyphercat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Nov, 2006 06:32 pm
<snork> That's great! I love Falwell, Colonel Sanders, and Hemingway especially. And Barbara Walters.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Nov, 2006 07:00 pm
I loved the Hemingway...
0 Replies
 
xguymontagx
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Nov, 2006 08:33 am
yeah the whole thing was funny.

for some reason the Hemingway was th funniest one for me to.
0 Replies
 
Treya
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Nov, 2006 04:23 pm
Yep. This was an email I got. Made me laugh pretty hard. Mr. Green
0 Replies
 
Shapeless
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 03:31 pm
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE: Because when you gaze across the road, the road also gazes across you.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 03:45 pm
Tell that to JLNobody...
0 Replies
 
 

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