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Wed 15 Nov, 2006 07:55 pm
Let's hear your punchlines.
Because a newcomer in the English forum was yelling "PAY ATTENTIONS TO HERE PLEASE."
Because he was caught in a crossfire between Omsigdavid and cjhsa.
Because he saw gus coming and didn't want to spend hours discussing female goats.
Because Chai Tea pushed him into oncoming traffic.
Why did the chicken cross the Garvahy Road?
Cos his father did.. and his grandfather before him
Quite possibly, the funnest joke ever.
lmur wrote:
Quite possibly, the funnest joke ever.
guess ya hadda be there eh.
Just to see it get angry.
We have cross roads on A2K? I thought they were all quite pleasant.
Oh. Patiopup already said that, didn't he?
lmur wrote:dadpad wrote:lmur wrote:
Quite possibly, the funnest joke ever.
guess ya hadda be there eh.
'Nam veterans. Sheesh.
How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
YOU DON'T KNOW, BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE!
(no offense meant)
From the Riddle forum: "I need help figuring out why the chicken crossed the road... all I know is that the reason has seven letters in it, that the third letter might be A, J, I, L or S, that is derived from Old French and is a kind of architectural design common to rural Nebraska which emphasizes flying buttresses and floral patterns."
Why did the A2Ker cross the road?
- To avoid an argument.
HA! Not.
To go hug a tree.
To get to the PETA meeting.
Actually he didnt cross the road, he tried to pull the other side over .
Revelation 1:7 Behold, he cometh to cross roads; and every eye shall see him, and they [also] which would not cross with him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
Today I would like to discuss with and show believers that there is a marked difference between seeing the road and crossing it. Many believers have argued that since Rev 1:7 states that the world will see roads, this also means that they will know how to cross them. I am here to tell you otherwise. It is absolutely correct that everyone will see the road with their physical eyes. But let us remember that the physical eyes are unable to cross that which is a road. Seeing is not crossing.
As believers we must understand that there is a chasm which divides one side of the road from the other in this physical world. Seeing with the physical eyes does not always translate to crossing with the spiritual feet. Let's use the disciples, Pharisees, and Jews for examples.
The disciples saw Jesus and they saw him cross the road. They saw him heal the sick, open the eyes of the blind, raise the dead, feed thousands with a meager amount of food, and cross the road. But yet when Jesus asked them who did they think he was and shall they cross the road with him. Only Simon Peter was able to correctly identify him and cross the road (Matthew 16:15-16).
Likewise the Jews were also in attendance to see Jesus cross the road (John 12:37). As a matter of fact they were the primary spectators during many of these road-crossings (John 2:1-11, Luke 5:18-26, Luke 5:15, Matt 15:32-38). Just think about how mind blowing this is. Jesus crossed many roads in their view, but yet they wanted him dead (Mark 15:12-13, John 19:14-15).
The Pharisees were also in the neighborhood to see Jesus and to see him cross the road (Matt 9:34, Luke 5:17, Luke 6:6-11). But yet they were constantly plotting of ways to trap and destroy him, or put obstacles in the middle of the road or to trip him and cause him to fall into oncoming traffic (Matt 12:14, Mark 12:13 ).
So here we see 3 perfect examples of 3 groups of people who were not visually or mentally impaired, and if they were Jesus probably healed them of their impairments. But yet out of these three groups only one individual (Simon Peter) was able at that time to come to the knowledge of how to cross the road. Now let us ask ourselves; what made Peter so different that he was able to see and know that Christ showed the way across the road. Well if we study Matt 16:17 you will see the answer. The reason that Peter was able to see and cross the road with Jesus was because God the Father had given him the revelation and showed him where the crosswalk was (Matthew 16:17). The rest could not know this because the Father had not revealed this as of yet to them.
Luke 17:30 Even thus shall it be in the day when the way to cross the road is revealed.
Daniel 12:9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the crosswalk is shown and shall remain till the time of the end.
Daniel 12:10 Many crosswalks shall be repainted, and made white, and crossed; but the wicked shall J-walk wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand.
To avoid the two guys in cheap suits handing out free bibles.
Shapeless wrote:Revelation 1:7 Behold, he cometh to cross roads; and every eye shall see him, and they [also] which would not cross with him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
Today I would like to discuss with and show believers that there is a marked difference between seeing the road and crossing it. Many believers have argued that since Rev 1:7 states that the world will see roads, this also means that they will know how to cross them. I am here to tell you otherwise. It is absolutely correct that everyone will see the road with their physical eyes. But let us remember that the physical eyes are unable to cross that which is a road. Seeing is not crossing.
As believers we must understand that there is a chasm which divides one side of the road from the other in this physical world. Seeing with the physical eyes does not always translate to crossing with the spiritual feet. Let's use the disciples, Pharisees, and Jews for examples.
The disciples saw Jesus and they saw him cross the road. They saw him heal the sick, open the eyes of the blind, raise the dead, feed thousands with a meager amount of food, and cross the road. But yet when Jesus asked them who did they think he was and shall they cross the road with him. Only Simon Peter was able to correctly identify him and cross the road (Matthew 16:15-16).
Likewise the Jews were also in attendance to see Jesus cross the road (John 12:37). As a matter of fact they were the primary spectators during many of these road-crossings (John 2:1-11, Luke 5:18-26, Luke 5:15, Matt 15:32-38). Just think about how mind blowing this is. Jesus crossed many roads in their view, but yet they wanted him dead (Mark 15:12-13, John 19:14-15).
The Pharisees were also in the neighborhood to see Jesus and to see him cross the road (Matt 9:34, Luke 5:17, Luke 6:6-11). But yet they were constantly plotting of ways to trap and destroy him, or put obstacles in the middle of the road or to trip him and cause him to fall into oncoming traffic (Matt 12:14, Mark 12:13 ).
So here we see 3 perfect examples of 3 groups of people who were not visually or mentally impaired, and if they were Jesus probably healed them of their impairments. But yet out of these three groups only one individual (Simon Peter) was able at that time to come to the knowledge of how to cross the road. Now let us ask ourselves; what made Peter so different that he was able to see and know that Christ showed the way across the road. Well if we study Matt 16:17 you will see the answer. The reason that Peter was able to see and cross the road with Jesus was because God the Father had given him the revelation and showed him where the crosswalk was (Matthew 16:17). The rest could not know this because the Father had not revealed this as of yet to them.
Luke 17:30 Even thus shall it be in the day when the way to cross the road is revealed.
Daniel 12:9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the crosswalk is shown and shall remain till the time of the end.
Daniel 12:10 Many crosswalks shall be repainted, and made white, and crossed; but the wicked shall J-walk wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand.
What's better than quotes from the greatest work of fiction?
Cross over the bridge, cross over the bridge
Leave your wicked past behind you
And true romance will find you--
Brother, cross over the bridge.
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