Help me get pregnant. Need some advice if you're in the know

Why don't you stop taking the pill altogether is your husband is in Iraq, and you want to get pregnant by him when he's around anyway?

Yep. When you go off the pill it can take a cycle or two to start ovulating. I would stop taking it now to give your body time to adjust. Good luck!

If I stop taking it all together, then it seems like that would be the least likely way to get me pregnant while he is on leave.

We would ideally like for me to get pregnant mid-way through his tour in Iraq. Every wife that we hang out with is going to try the same thing. We all have one kid a few months apart, and we all want another one around the same time. Only a few of us will get pregnant though since the odds are slim that we'll get pregnant on the first try. We know that. But, we're still trying.

The men don't want to be around the first few months of our pregnancy, and most of us women don't care if they're not there. I guess many of us have learned to be independent too with our husbands gone all the time.

For our particular case, we want to have another one before Mr. J gets out of the military. We want them to pay for it all.

You won't immediately start to ovulate by stopping the pill. How regular is your cycle otherwise?

I have a 30 day cycle. Always.

Not really following...?

If you have from now until March, that's plenty of time to get things on track.

Is it that you want to control your ovulation as narrowly as possible?

It seems really hard to do that within the parameters you lay out, especially the weeks' notice.

So since it will be pretty much impossible to use the pill to manipulate your ovulation according to when he'll be there -- since you don't know when that will be, and won't know until a week or so before it happens -- just going off the pill seems like a much better idea.

My understanding is that it can take on average 3 months for the effect of the pill to leave your body - that is why usually a doctor suggests being off the pill for 3 months before starting to get pregnant. I would get off now. I was pretty much regular. I stopped taking the pill and got pregnant exactly 3 months later. So for the second child I decided to "plan" so that I would have the baby when I wanted. I stopped taking the pill 3 months before I wanted to be pregnant - well God played a joke on me, it took me 5 months to get pregnant.

So you cannot "plan" this. It will happen when it happens. I wonder to since you would be trying so hard, the stress to cause your cycle to change and also ruin the romantic part of being with your husband.

...one other thing, you have a slightly more than 50% chance as long as you're fertile as a general concept, regardless of timing. As in, if you CAN get pregnant, you'll be ovulating at some point in a 30-day window. Sperm can live for I think 2-5 days inside of you, so theoretically if you start ovulating say 2 days after Mr. J leaves, if you tried the day he left you could still get pregnant.

More than 50% ain't bad.

What does your doctor say about it?

I think you should just go off the pill and make love to your husband and don't worry about it.

You know, the old fashioned way.

Yeah - it should be enjoyable - not work. Why does it always seem like work when couples say they are trying?

hmm.. well this is why I came here to ask because I knew you guys would bring out other opinions.

Here's what I was thinking.

Of pill: Just seems like this was my least likely way of getting pregnant. It would be my luck that he comes home the day I start my period or right after I ovulated. He's only home for 13-14 days. I ovulate on day 14-16.

We've been thinking about getting pregnant on R&R while I was still pregnant with the FIRST KID!!!! Of course, we always knew when he'd be going to Iraq. Plus, the other wives had the same idea.

Mini Pill: I have 2 ovulation kits in my cabinet, and the times I've gone off because Mr. J was in the field, and I got lazy, I've used it to experiment. From the time I get my period (always within a week from stopping), I still ovulate 14 days later. Of course, I only tested this twice.

Then my friend said she planned on staying on a normal birth control pill and just only taking the white pills. When her husband came, she would start taking the pink pills the week before. She is also regular, and this is how she got pregnant with their second. This would place her 14th day (when she ovulates) ...a week into him being home. So she has a few days before ovulation and a few days after it to try since the sperm can stay alive for a little while.

Well, I'm asking for ideas/opinions to what would be the most effective out of the three ways I can prepare. All are chances and I know all 3 methods may not improve my odds because anything can change.

I don't see why I have to defend why my husband and I want to plan when we'd like to at least TRY to have a baby.

Even more to judge that maybe we aren't enjoying sex just because we plan it. It doesn't stress me to know we have to do it on the 8th of March (Random day). If anything, it only makes me excited and sets the mood. It definitely doesn't bother my husband. I understand where you are coming from, but for the time, it doesn't bother us and this is what we feel is ideal.

We're not a couple who has tried and tried for years. Who has stopped eating sugarless gum, jacks off every other day to increase sperm, drinks certain fluids, etc to have a baby (like my silb&her husband).

We could just let things be and just have sex like normal, but we could always miss that very short time a woman can get pregnant, so it would only add to frustrations for us. I think planning is great.

Yeah, it makes sense to me in your circumstances. There are reasons that you have to plan.

The white pill/ pink pill stuff doesn't sound quite right to me -- can you tell me what they are, by any chance? Or the brand, I could maybe figure it out from there (you can PM if you'd like). Is one active, one placebo/ placeholder? (Mine has 21 days of active pills, in three different variations, and then 7 days of sugar pills that I never bother to take, they're just to keep you in the habit of taking a pill every day.)

And again, your doc is probably the best person to talk to about this, but I'm happy to try to help.

Yeah, my next step was to talk to my doctor during my yearly exam coming up. Well, I guess it's not coming up until I get off my butt and schedule it.

I came here first because you guys are always helpful, and unlike other forums, usually positive and informatve. I wouldn't be upset at just the reply that I have a fat chance. I realize this, but am still hopeful.

I don't know a lot about the normal pill in regards to skipping the sugar pills. But yeah.. .what you described sounds like what she was saying. Pink being the active pills. She was using the same pill I had used before I got pregnant (ortha-something??). It's been such a long time, I forgot the name, but I think it's one of the most commonly used ones.

I guess I'll just post what the doctor says after I get examined.

So taking the inactive ones is the same as just stopping the one that you're currently on, pretty much.

I just did a search on mini-pills, they say the same thing about maybe you'll be fertile immediately or maybe it'll take a few months. As in, if it's worked for you and your friend before that's fine, but it's not necessarily predictive -- that may have just been luck rather than anything to rely on.

If you can stop taking your pill at any point and then start your period about 7 days afterwards, and then ovulate on day 14, that does seem like the best way to control it with your limitations. (Won't know exactly when he'll be home until about a week ahead of time, etc.) Those are great big ifs though, I think.

The no-period-at-all thing is also a concern in terms of your fertility. But your doctor will know best.

Good luck!

so who's judging you?

who said you don't enjoy sex?

who's asking you to defend yourself?


wasn't me, wasn't anyone else either.
that was quite a quantum leap you took between one post and the next.

The best way to get pregnant.

Chart your ovulation. Ovum are only viable for 12-24 hours so it's super important to make sure you have a spermy to meet it at the door.

If you have already ovulated and then have sex after, the chances of pregnancy are low, because the sperm may not make it in time. The best way to do it is to ensure you have sperm already inside you at the time of ovulation. So do it every other day 2-3 days leading up to the week you are schedule to ovulate and every other day all that week. You will have a darn good chance of pregnancy then.

Remember that sometimes, there can be a forced ovulation at the end of your cycle (lunar something or other) so you CAN get pregnant outside of your normal ovulation. But it's not likely.

Good luck!

Oh and as for the pill...the effects last only 24 hours before beginning to dimish. It probably will help prevent pregnancy for a week afterwards but generally speaking, the day you want to get pregnant is the day after you stop taking your pills.

Oh and on the note of you working around him (ovulating at the right time and what not). I don't think there is any way for you to make ovulation occur, with or without the pill. I think it happens regardless, when it's ready to happen.

But again, just have sex every other day the whole time he's home. You have nothing to lose...and great sex to gain.

I'd personally just get off the pill and stay off the pill. Your ovulation will become more regular the longer you are off it. And you don't want to chance it right now.