Who was really popular?

I went to a giant high school so I don't know how typical it is, but mine had many many sub-groupings and pretty much nobody was popular throughout each sub-group. The jocks (male + female) might revere someone that the smartest kids thought was ridiculous, the stoners would think the grade-grubber was ridiculous, the "popular" people/ fashion victims thought the stoners were ridiculous, the politically active types thought the fashion victims were ridiculous, and on it went. There was overlap -- maybe someone was smart, politically active and a stoner -- but it was pretty rare that there would be anyone who had a connection to all of the groups. (And there were many more groups than I've listed.)

I honestly think my school was too small for groups. The school I teach it has 1200 kids and there are some groups -- like the guys who one day decided to dress as pirates (advanced physics students and drama students) -- but the groups don't seem iron clad. The kids who run for office are from all parts of the spectrum but the NHS types or those who are nominated for it, generally but exclusively, win.

Let's see...there were the jocks, the drama and music people, the goths and losers, and then a sort of group of unaffiliated people that just didn't fit anywhere else -- these were the semi-dorks, the social non-jocks, foreigners, and jokesters. There was not really a nerd or dork group, no group of "nerdy good students". Some of the unaffiliated people were quite popular in all groups, but the pretty girls and jocks didn't even have to try. It was clear that, while other groups might resent them, those groups were inferior.

Sometimes I've felt like I missed out on that entire hs experience. It sure doesn't seem like a typical experience I had, especially looking back now.

The school was tiny, everyone knew everyone else and their relatives. Most everyone 'fit in'. The only ones who got much problems were foreigners and kids from outside the community. Yet even they became 'popular' within a short period of time.

There was sub-groups but it didn't mean much. Basically 2: religious and non-religious (a.k.a. people who drank). Yes, there were a few jocks/pretty girls, but they weren't given too much notice or admiration. What mattered was that they drank and knew people.

As naive as this may sound, and possibly not completely true, the most popular kids seemed to be the ones who judged the least and embraced the widest range of people. The more involved and friendly you were, the more people you knew, hence the more popular. If you had a big family, you've got popularity even.

This is certainly not the common experience of the younger people I know from elsewhere - except other small towns. I don't completely understand how a kid can go through school with 'no friends' but it happens, and it's a shame. My younger friends from the city seem to have this experience - of slipping in the cracks of the different groups, and finding their friends completely out of the school setting.

Having just moved to the city, I didn't know anyone at all in my high school, a four year Catholic Academy, when I signed up as a freshman - except my cousin who was a year ahead.

We had a small class, 90 students, whole school something like 350. The cliques were pre-established, or so I thought. On the other hand, there was some play in all that, with some oddballs like me going between groups. One interesting girl was from Belgium. She'd already studied the equivalent of everything in our whole high school (or almost), and signed up for secretarial courses, to the horror of the nuns. She waltzed out with a straight A average, including in the few Prep things she chose.

We wore uniforms.

In my specific time, the seemingly popular ones wore the right socks and had the good brand of white bucks, Not the ones from Leed's Shoe Store that were probably $1.00 less. (I was in high school in the late fifties.)

But.. by the time we were leaving the place, which in memory still gives me shudders for a variety of reasons. the class was pretty open to listening to each other.

POM I am intrigued by your usage of the term "small". your graduating class had 150 kids. My childrens HS has 375 kids in total. Whole town population = 2000.

A recent exhange student (from OZ to US) commented on the groupings in High school. Jock and cheerleaders, goths, nerds (science), dorks and geeks, etc and he said you just dont mix and was ostracised for doing so. It is something that is very much less evident here in OZ. And he was from a larger school than ours.

flushd, are you kidding? there's no good lesson to be learned by spending your developmental years in isolation, there's plenty of time to become jaded later in life if you so desire it sounds like you had a darn near optimal school environment.

stuh, it was pretty sweet. I'm thinking small town MB is not that different from parts of Oz. 'Small' is the town that only has an elevator, not a full-fledged city.

I was. Very popular in high school, I mean. Of course, nobody knew it.

My town has no elevator. We dont even have escalators (moving stairs).
I think there are 3 two story buildings.

Anyhow Thats got nothing to do with who is popular or not.

I do notice that our HS student captain elections tend to be a popularity contest rather than a judgement of leadership and ability.

Talked with my wife about the topic the other day.

The most popular guy in my High School was a prankster who flunked often, was nice to everybody and fun to be with. He now owns a chain of bars.
The least popular were the non-rebellious straight-A's types. Other straight A types were popular, though.

She went to a huge High School (8,000 students).
Who was popular there? Funny guys with "special verbal skills", also. And good-looking girls.

Now. that is truly internatonal.

In my admittedly personal experience, watching friends and acquaintances... girls who were quite with the wit were never the most popular..

I think good-looking guys have it even better than good-looking girls. Girls seemed to have to figure out some script even if they were pretty, and if they didn't want to follow it they tended to have a harder time. (I remember my dad pointing out someone in my yearbook as a stunner -- aside from the instrinsic yuckiness of that, what I remember about it is that the photo was accurate and everything but she was this spacey uncool type who didn't get any attention in particular.)

Guys seem to be forgiven more if they're really good looking. Seemed like there were several who were kind of taken under the wing of popular girls even if they started out hopeless.

quite = quick, of course.

There were almost zilch guys around in my high school years. I only met guys at all when I worked at the hospital after school in my junior and senior years. Hmm, did that explain my interest in medicine?

So, my comments are all in a strange female microcosm of yesteryear, as the Lone Ranger appeared atop the hill on his white horse.. (or was that someone else?)

It's true that some pretty girls have a way of slipping through the cracks in high school. In a small place, where the social dynamics are like poured concrete, this can happen. I noticed that these girls shined in college, though. It's nice to see what beautiful women some of those shy highschool girls that I always overlooked turned into!

Also interesting even now, all this time later, to see how important pretty is.

I'll speak up to say even I, the self absorbed, didn't think I was ugly, I just plain wasn't.

But what of all that? Some of my most interesting, nay brilliant, friends were plain old funny looking.

This was usually ok for guys

and social death for girls. Probably still is, but maybe not.

Ha! Same here!

My town was nestled in a valley where the only non-residential buildings were a post office, hardware store, school, one-room library, and two small factories...